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My Male Boss is Protective of Me (Reasons & What to Do)

Feature Image of My Male Boss is Protective of MeYour male boss is protective of you because he has got affectionate feelings for you. These feelings can be romantic or totally platonic. If his behavior makes you uncomfortable, talk to him about that. You can also control the situation by creating a social boundary for yourself at the workplace.

This article will help you deal with a pretty common workplace problem. Your male boss is protective of you. Through this article, you will learn more about the reasons behind such behavior and a few ways to deal with such a situation effectively. Read on.

Reasons why your male boss is so protective of you

  1. He has romantic feelings for you: Your boss seems so protective of you, probably because he has romantic feelings for you. He likes you a lot and doesn’t want you to encounter difficult scenarios
    • Your male boss wants to protect you because he wants you to have the best life. He has romantic feelings for you and will do anything to make you feel good.
    • You are important to him. He wants to have you as a partner (and not just a sexual one). He probably wants a meaningful relationship with you.
    • Being protective is his way of showing how much he likes you. He does all he can to ensure that you are safe. He wants you to work effortlessly.
    • Your boss would leave no stone unturned to fulfill your wishes. Try to observe what he does when you ask for a new coffee machine for the office snack counter. He will try to bring it to you within a day or two, whereas a requisition from others will have to wait for weeks.
  1. He is obsessed with you: He has an obsession, and that is you. That is why he is so protective of you. He wants to keep you safe for himself, and that is a bit creepy.
    • He acts creepy whenever he is around you. His obsession makes him behave that way. He wants you in his life at any cost.
    • Your male boss is so protective of you because of the obsession. The word “obsession” would be an understatement in your case. The way your boss acts can only be termed as “possessive.”
    • Try to observe him when you talk to another male colleague. Observe the way he behaves. You will probably find him restless. He could be seen pacing up and down his cabin. He is jealous.
    • People like this can be more harmful than you think. His possessiveness and jealousy can affect your career. He will try to buy you with all the resources available to him, and in the process, he will insult your wit and education (the two most important things that helped you get this job).
  1. He wants to sleep with you: He is romantically obsessed with you. That’s because he wants to get you to his bed. Your boss is so protective of you because he wants to sleep with you.
    • His romantic feelings for you, his obsession, and his incessant jealousy point toward the fact that he wants to sleep with you. Your male boss is so protective of you because he wants a physical relationship.
    • He can go to great extents just to sleep with you. He will try to disrupt your life at the workplace by interfering in everything you do. He will try to manipulate you into following his orders.
    • He might even try to drive away all your male colleagues from your side. You will soon find yourself lonely without friends, and that’s when he will decide to swoop into your life as the savior.
    • He will protect you from depression and all the other problems you are facing in life just to sleep with you. He wants to take you to his bed at any cost.
  1. He thinks of you as a weak person: The romantic angle might not be at work here. Your male boss is so protective of you because he thinks you are weak. He wants to keep you safe from the world because he feels you will not be able to deal with it on your own.
    • Your boss thinks you are too weak to function. That’s why he tries to protect you all the time. But that doesn’t mean he has romantic feelings for you.
    • For him, you are just an employee. But you are special because he thinks you need protection. He doesn’t help the other employees like this. You are different.
    • Now, this can either make you mad or make you feel good about all the extra attention. It should make you mad because he had assumed you to be a damsel in distress who needs help when you never asked for any. It is the behavioral version of mansplaining.
    • However, it can also make you feel good when all you want is attention. For some people, things like this don’t matter. If you are one of them, you might not have a problem accepting him as the alpha.
  1. He thinks of you as a great friend: Friends have each other’s backs. They are supposed to be there for each other in times of need. Your male boss thinks of you as a great friend, and that’s why he is so protective of you.
    • Your boss is a friendly person. He thinks you two can be great friends. He likes you that way. That’s why he seems so protective of you.
    • You will find him there for you whenever you are in a problem. He will do his best to solve it. He doesn’t want you to face unnecessary problems that might affect your quality of work.
    • Having the boss as your friend can be extremely beneficial for you. He can give you great career advice and will think of you first during a promotion.
    • Although it is supposed to be an unconditional friendship, your boss expects you to be a loyal friend. He wants you by his side when he faces a problem in the future.
    • Unlikely friendships can also happen when your boss is a lot older or younger than you, just like the 2015 film Intern, directed by Nancy Meyers, starring Robert De Niro and Anne Hathaway, where they showed a beautiful friendship between a woman in her thirties (the boss) and a man in his seventies (the intern).
  1. He thinks of you as a sister: Your boss has a bit of brotherly affection for you. He thinks of you as a sister, and therefore, he seems protective of you in various difficult scenarios.
    • He considers you a sister. All the affection that comes from him is the result of brotherly love.
    • He likes you because you remind him of someone that he won’t talk about. It could be about a long-lost sister. He has rediscovered that familial bond within you.
    • He likes to protect you from danger. He wants you to have the best life. He would do everything in his power to make you feel comfortable at the office.
    • Such well-wishers are hard to find. He is going to be there for you whenever you need him. His affection for you goes beyond the boundaries of the workplace.
  1. You have helped him before: Your male boss is so protective of you because of gratitude. You have helped him before in a tricky situation. That’s why he tries to thank you by keeping you safe.
    • Your boss is so protective of you because he received help from you when he needed it. He does what he does because he is grateful.
    • He is not so good with the rest of the workforce. You are special. You have earned this favor from him for your helpful nature.
    • People might frown upon the bond you have with your boss. But that doesn’t bother him, and it shouldn’t bother you, either.
  1. He cares for you: He is so protective of you because he cares for you. This can happen when he has romantic feelings for you. However, he can also be protective of you, without romantic feelings, just because he is a nice guy.
    • His behavior proves how he feels about you. He cares for you because he is in love with you. His romantic feelings make him treat you differently.
    • Caring for someone doesn’t always have to be romantic. He can care for you even when you are just friends.
    • The special treatment might come as a reward for your quality of work and dedication towards the service. Your boss could be a great man who appreciates talent.

What to do when you find your male boss being protective of you?

  1. Create boundaries for yourself and your boss: The workplace has certain codes of conduct. Your boss might have affectionate feelings for you, and you can have the same for him. But keeping the feelings in check is a necessity. Try to create boundaries.
    • Both of you are integral parts of an office. There are certain ways to behave in a work environment. Your boss is protective when it comes to you, and everyone notices that. Things like these can cause elaborate rumors and gossip that often turn unpleasant for the people involved.
    • Even if you two have feelings for each other, keep it to yourself. The office is not a place to discuss these things or behave in a way that seems odd in front of the rest of the workforce.
    • Create strict boundaries and keep yourselves within them. You can do whatever you want with each other after work hours, but as long as you are on the office premises behaving like that is out of bounds.
  1. If you feel uncomfortable, talk to him about that: An overprotective boss at the workplace can make you uncomfortable. If you feel so, talk to him about that.
    • Your boss is overprotective, and that makes you feel uncomfortable. You should talk to him about that. Tell him that this special treatment is not your cup of tea.
    • He tries to protect you because he likes you. You may not like him. You can even be in love with someone else, and in situations like this, your boss’s behavior can be the source of problems in your life.
    • You can start having problems in your own relationship because of your boss. Talk to him about that and request him politely to take a step back.
    • He should understand that his advances need to be dialed down. His intention is fine, but when that makes you feel uncomfortable, he should check his behavior. Your safety and comfort at the workplace matter.
  1. Check if he has a family: An affair with a boss is frowned upon, but it is not an uncommon thing. However, an extra-marital affair might disrupt the lives of many people. Check if your male boss has a family.
    • You are free to have a secret affair with your male boss. You know he likes you because he is so protective towards you. He would love the idea of an affair.
    • However, before running headfast into the affair, check if he has a family. That is necessary because you don’t want to the part of something so complicated.
    • If he has a family, you should step away from whatever weird relationship you have with him. Sooner or later, his family will discover your presence in his life. When that happens, you will conveniently be tagged as the home breaker.
    • Your boss has moral responsibilities towards his family. He can deny that to have an affair, but you shouldn’t be a part of it. Try to stay away from him and maintain a strictly professional relationship.
  1. Warn him about his behavior: If he makes you feel uncomfortable on purpose by acting too clingy and protective, you can warn him about his unethical behavior. He needs to stay within limits.
    • Warn him about the uncomfortable way in which he behaves with you. Tell him that such behavior can make the workplace worse for both of you.
    • Tell him that you don’t like his behavior, particularly his explicit sexual advances. You can even involve your co-workers in the situation for support.
    • You can ask one of them to talk to the boss about workplace ethics. Your boss needs to be chastised for his oddly unethical behavior.
    • You can make a complaint bout him to the higher authorities if he bothers you further. They will make sure he understands his place in the workplace.
  1. Tell him you don’t need protection: You are an independent human being who lives alone and earns enough money to pay for your needs. Tell your overprotective male boss that you don’t need protection.
    • Tell him that you don’t need protection. He shouldn’t be treating you in a different way. No reason is good enough for that.
    • Tell him that you deserve to be left alone. You can deal with your problems on your own. You don’t need another person to do it for you as a favor. Tell him that you don’t accept favors from anyone.
    • You can also talk to him about how difficult he has made your life at the workplace. All your colleagues stay away from you because the boss prefers you. Tell him that this needs to stop at once.
    • Make him realize that he cannot control your life by protecting you all the time from everything. However, say these things in the politest way possible. You don’t want to make him mad. Choose your words carefully, as that can determine your future.
  1. Appreciate the friendship: If he thinks of you as a great friend, try to appreciate that friendship. He is Captain Holt to your Detective Peralta. It is a big deal, and such a friendly relationship can do wonders for your career.
    • This mostly happens when your male boss is close to your age group. He might consider you as a friend with whom he can talk about anything.
    • Friendships like these make the office a better, more colorful place for the employees. You should appreciate the friendship.
    • Act like a true friend and hang out with him. This might be good for your career. Being friends with the boss, however, is frowned upon. People consider it to be dorky. But that shouldn’t bother you if you are a career-driven person.
  1. Try to be sensitive: Your boss cares for you. As long as he is not being harmful, you have nothing to worry about. Affection doesn’t always have to be romantic. He probably perceives you as a friend, sister, or daughter (if he is old enough). Try to be sensitive about that affection.
    • Being sensitive to a person who cares for you can do no harm. It is good to care for people. Your boss is a nice person who likes your hard work.
    • He probably sees you as a friend, sister, or daughter. You have his affection, and that is why he protects you all the time at the workplace.
    • Just like Captain Holt from Brooklyn Nine-Nine, he can move mountains to help you get out of a problem. But all that depends on how good you are at your job.
    • His affectionate feelings for you prove that you are good at your job, and now you have only one thing to do. Try to be sensitive about his feelings and try not to lose the place you have in his life. He thinks you are important.
  1. Help him whenever you can: He protects you in difficult situations and is like a guide to you. It is your moral responsibility to help your protective male boss when he requires your help.
    • When in a problem, your protective male boss probably wouldn’t ask for your help. After all, he is supposed to be the problem solver. Just like Captain Holt, he is going to act like a stoic person who is unaffected by problems.
    • In a situation like this, your moral duty is to help him get out of the soup. He might act rude at first, but he will appreciate your help later.
    • You should help him in the best way possible. That might put you in his good books, which mostly come in handy during a possible promotion.
    • Even if you don’t feel anything about him, think of this act of help as a building block of the successful career you dream about.


A few things to remember:

  • You should never assume things about your boss’s affection for you. That can turn awkward quicker than you think.
  • Always try to find out if he has a family before you start an affair with your male boss.
  • He could be protective of you for reasons other than love and sexuality.
  • He could be a great man who appreciates talent. That’s why he treats you in a special way.

About the Author

Nirajana Mukherjee

Nirajana Mukherjee has been helping people find out their relationship queries since 2019. At Relationshippp she loved to talk about topics related to Dating, Affairs, Attraction, and Breakups. Her work can be seen in RelationshipExplained - A Renowned Relationship Blog. Nirajana has a Masters in English literature from St. Xavier's University.
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