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He Lead Me on Then Rejected Me (Why & What to Do)

Feature Image of He Lead Me on Then Rejected MeThat’s because he is not interested in you anymore. He led you on when he found you intriguing. The moment he started to know more about you, all that intrigue vanished, and he started losing interest. That’s when you asked him out, and he rejected. He is a fickle-minded person.

This article will attempt to help you with reasons why he led you on and then rejected you. It will help you to be more careful the next time. Along with that, you will learn ways to deal with the situation. Read on.

Reasons why he led you on and then rejected you

  1. He has lost interest in you: He led you on and then rejected you because he has lost interest in you. He pursued you when he found you intriguing.
    • You have every reason to believe he is into you while he was showing interest in you. That’s what it means.
    • The rejection came when he lost interest in you (gradually or suddenly). The loss of interest can have many reasons.
    • Loss of interest in a relationship can stem from a major change in either of the two people involved or both.
    • He might have changed. This change is mostly psychological. His preferences have changed. He just realized he could be better off without you in his life. He thinks he deserves someone else.
    • He might have changed his mind about you due to certain issues he has with your personality, behavior, or appearance (unfortunately).
    • Changes in you can also drive him to lose interest in you. He rejected you after leading you on because he thinks you have changed and not in a good way. He liked your older self.
  1. He is fickle-minded: He led you on and then rejected you, probably because he is a fickle-minded person. He can’t stick to one decision or one person for long.
    • He has a very short attention span, and you are the new victim of this phenomenon. He led you on when he was into you. Within a few days, that plummeted to the situation you are in now.
    • He is bored of your constant presence in his life and needs something or someone new to distract him from that. He is definitely not in love with you.
    • He might try to come back into your life when he finds new interest in you after getting bored elsewhere.
    • He thinks the world will go along with his fickle-mindedness. He is an entitled brat who thinks you will be patient enough to bear with his on-again and off-again relationship tantrums. There is a chance that he is not aware of this problem.
  1. He dug up dirt about you: He led you on, and then he rejected you because he has found dirt about you. He tried to do a background check on you which did not give him satisfactory results.
    • Nobody is perfect, but he wants a perfect partner. He got interested in you, but you were never above the derogatory background check he does for all potential partners.
    • He goes out of his way to know more about your past. He will dig up things that have long been hidden to make you feel vulnerable once again.
    • This anxiety-inducing habit of his does more damage than good to his potential partners. Of course, you will feel offended after someone runs a detailed background check on you like this.
    • Pulling something off like this means he doesn’t trust you. He found something about your past relationships that made him reject you. He doesn’t know that a person’s past cannot define their present. He wants someone with a “clean record.”
  1. He has found someone else: He led you on and then rejected you because he has found someone else. He thinks they are better than you.
    • People should always be with someone they like. He liked you (that’s why he led you on), but he liked the other person better.
    • That’s good for both of you because you guys will be happy with your own lives now. There is nothing worse than being in an unhappy relationship.
    • If he decided to choose you over the other person, it would have exactly been like the relationship fiasco the hit Netflix series Emily in Paris is based on. Emily and Gabriel liked each other, but he had a girlfriend called Camille. In an ideal world, he should have broken up with her the moment he fell in love with someone else. That is nothing but cheating.
    • The guy we are discussing did what Gabriel couldn’t do for three long seasons. It is true that you will feel bad for a few days but what happened to you is for the greater good. Now you can freely look for “the one.”
  1. It boosts his ego: He led you on and then rejected you because it kind of boosts his ego. He finds happiness in twisted things and misery. It gives him a weird sense of power.
    • He derives a kick out of making people feel bad. It boosts his ego. You have fallen prey to his elaborate schemes.
    • He has mental health issues (and probably needs to consult a therapist). He feels powerful when he gets to reject someone after making them feel special for a few days.
    • This could stem from his own relationship experiences. There can be a chance that he got rejected the same way in the past. Ever since he has been looking for revenge on every other person.
    • He tries to find his lost happiness in other people’s misery. He has done the same to many potential partners before you.
  1. He is scared about the relationship: He led you on and then rejected you because he got scared about his future and changed his mind. He did it because his future is still insecure without a job. He fears the worst things to happen.
    • He likes you. That’s why he led you on. He rejected you because he suddenly got a reality check.
    • He has no job. Therefore, his future is not secured. He cares for you and doesn’t want to be a burden on you. It is not his fault. Society makes him feel this way.
    • He is scared that bad things will happen if he continues with this relationship. His worst fear is that you will leave him for someone better.
    • He is shutting out his feelings for you. He is never going to disclose his true feelings until you change his mind. This behavior might stem from past experiences where he actually got rejected by people because his future wasn’t secure.
  1. You were rude: He led you on because he liked you. He rejected you because you were rude to him. He thinks you are not the one for him.
    • Your rudeness cost you a potentially great relationship. He liked you. Maybe he likes you still. But he thinks you are unsuitable for him because of your rudeness.
    • He thinks so obviously because you were rude to him or someone close to him. Rudeness can be intentional, but sometimes people turn rude involuntarily due to dire circumstances.
    • If your rudeness were circumstantial, you would have to talk to him about that before you lose him forever. He needs to know you are not like your rude self.
  1. This was part of a plan: He led you on and then rejected you because it was all part of a plan. You did something similar to someone close to him. Therefore, he came for revenge.
    • Whatever he did was an act of revenge for something he did to someone close to him. He never liked you and definitely never wanted to be in a romantic relationship with you. He just made you think he did. He rejected you the moment you fell for him.
    • Think about what could have brought on this situation. Did you cheat on someone recently? If yes, then it is all coming back for you.
    • He planned this out elaborately and stalked you around to meet you in the right place at the right time. He made you fall in love with him by making you believe that you guys think similarly.
    • That was possible because of his extensive research on you. He knew everything you liked so that he could successfully dupe you into falling in love.
  1. You guys were not compatible: He led you on because he likes you. He rejected you when he found out you guys were incompatible. You guys lacked emotional bonding, which is extremely necessary for romantic relationships.
    • Lack of compatibility is a legit reason not to be together. If you think clearly, you will not be mad at him for rejecting you. He saved you from being in an unhappy relationship with him.
    • People don’t learn about compatibility right after falling for someone. It comes up gradually. In your case, he rejected you right after that happened.
    • He realized the compatibility issue way faster than you. The fact that you are here proves that you have not realized the problem yet.

How to deal with the mess and be careful from now on?

  1. Ask him what made him lose interest: Ask him why he lost interest in this relationship. You deserve to know the reason for the rejection.
    • Something about you made him lose interest. Ask him what it is so that you can decide if this rejection was legit or not.
    • He led you on. That means he came to you and not the other way around. The moment you fell in love, he rejected your advances. Ask him about the specific reason for doing that.
    • Be polite when you ask these questions. Unnecessary rudeness can escalate the tense situation to a fight that you won’t forget for years.
  1. Call him out for playing with your emotions: You can call him out for playing with your emotions. It affects your mental health, and he needs to bear the consequence of what he has done.
    • He never liked you. All he wanted was to have fun with you for some time before moving on to the next person. He charmingly made you feel special, and you thought he was actually into you.
    • You can call him out for this. Social media is a strong tool for calling out someone for their dubious deeds.
    • You can write about your encounter with him to warn other people who might fall prey to his charms. Mention his name while you do so.
    • You can call him out in your common circle of friends. They should know what kind of person he is and what he does to unsuspecting people who fall in love with him.
  1. Apologize: Apologies for being rude to him or someone close to him. Your rudeness (intentional or unintentional) has made him lose interest in you.
    • If you want to regain your position of importance in his life, you will have to apologize for your rudeness. Your behavior is costing you a relationship. This is the time to step up and do something positive to save it from going down the drain.
    • You need to apologize even if your rudeness was unintentional. Your circumstances made you rude. Whatever you said in the heat of the moment was a momentary defection from your true self.
    • Everybody has the right to get mad at things. Admit that your right to get mad at things is not an excuse to be rude to him. The fact that you did not apologize right at the moment made things escalate faster, and your potential relationship plummeted before it began.
    • You will definitely have to apologize if your rudeness was intentional. You made him feel bad on purpose. You could have controlled yourself, but you didn’t. Now that you feel bad about the rejection, you have come to your senses. Well, better late than never. Go and apologize to him and hope that he forgives you this time.
    • However, try not to have hope for reconciliation. You lost that right the moment you insulted him.
  1. Don’t disclose critical information about yourself: Don’t disclose critical information about yourself the next time. This relationship is over. Don’t open up to the next person you date.
    • The reason you feel hurt and deceived lies in the fact that you trusted him. You opened up to him and let him be a part of your vulnerabilities.
    • When he rejected you, he went away with all the information about you to probably make fun of, and you were left dejected with heartbreak and emotional damage.
    • Don’t let that happen the next time. Don’t open up to the next guy you date. Don’t pass on critical information about yourself to them until you are absolutely sure about their intent.
    • You can afford to be naïve once. If you make the same mistake again, you will only prove yourself to be a fool.
  1. Try to get back to him for breaking your heart: Get back to him for breaking your heart. You can ask a friend to help you with this.
    • He led you on and broke your heart by rejecting you when you fell in love with him. You can do the same to him by asking a friend to act like they are in love with him. Give them a taste of their own medicine.
    • You can start by creating a new social media profile that is convincing enough to make him fall for it. Build up the romance and make him feel special, only to pull the carpet from under his feet.
    • You need to ask a friend whom he has never seen to help you with this. They need to convince him to fall in love, and he will consciously never fall for a friend of yours.
  1. Focus on yourself and move on: Try to focus on yourself and move on. Nothing is more important than your mental health.
    • Moving on is a big part of breakups and rejections. Rejection from him doesn’t mean you are not eligible for love. You will definitely find someone who will love you unconditionally. You just have to be a little patient.
    • Focus on yourself. All you have done these days is think about the rejection and the person who rejected you. He doesn’t deserve to be in your thoughts. He broke your heart, and you should try to forget about him.
    • Focus on positive thoughts and activities instead of sitting alone in a dark corner of your room. Do things that you have always wanted to do. Acquire a new hobby and jump into a new genre of books, movies, or TV shows.
    • You can even go on a vacation. Take a few days off of work and travel to the nearest mountain or beach. Hike through the woods or take a swim in cool waters. Do things that will put him out of your mind. Make pleasant memories to erase the dark ones.
  1. Ask him to check his ego issues: This relationship is over but before parting, ask him to check his ego issues. Tell him he might stay alone forever if he continues like this.
    • He led you on and then rejected you because he has ego issues. That’s not your problem because that is not a good excuse to make someone feel like trash.
    • He made you feel special, and right when you were about to fall in love, he took all the affection away. That is supposed to make you feel miserable.
    • You should ask him to put his ego issues on a leash. His egotistic nature is going to cost him many relationships (and not just romantic ones). Tell him that people like him often end up alone as they have successfully annoyed everyone around them.
    • Tell him his relationship with you is done for good, and he shouldn’t come crawling back to you once he has realized his mistake. Advise him to be a bit careful with the next relationship.
  1. Tell him not to be scared: He is scared of his uncertain future and the possibility of losing you because of that. Tell him not to be scared and assure him you will be there for him.
    • It is hard to secure a good job in today’s competitive world. He led you on because he liked you but rejected you because of harsh reality.
    • He doesn’t want to be in a relationship with no future. He doesn’t see a future with you (even though he probably loves you) because his future is uncertain.
    • You can ask him not to be scared. Tell him that you will be there for him no matter what.
    • Your assurance might make him change his mind, and you guys can get official. However, he might choose to decline your advances even with your assurance. His financial stability is the only thing that matters to him. It matters so much that he can sacrifice his love for you.
  1. Tell him you can be friends with benefits: If you are up for a sexual relationship with no strings attached, let him know. Tell him you can be friends with benefits.
    • He rejected you because he thought you wanted a serious relationship. Tell him that you, too, want a casual fling.
    • Tell him you are looking for a physical relationship with no strings attached. Assure him that you are fine with making out and not talking to each other after that.
    • There is nothing wrong with this kind of relationship. You can always stop seeing each other after meeting the right person. Who knows, you guys can fall in love with each other too.
  1. Try to find out more about the guy you are dating the next time before you give your heart: This guy was clearly wrong for you. He led you on and broke your heart. The reason doesn’t matter here. Your feelings do. Try to find out more about the next guy you date before falling for him.
    • Learn from your mistakes and check out his social media profile. Do it often to know about important updates on his life.
    • You can gather information about him from his friends and acquaintances. Try to dig into his past but don’t use it as a weapon to ruin the relationship unless it’s absolutely necessary.
    • A background check will help you decide whether or not to stay with this guy. It will save you from potential emotional damage and mental health issues leading up to a hefty therapy bill.


A few things to remember:

  • He is probably a fickle-minded person who loses interest in people within minutes. He led you on and then rejected you because he was no longer interested in you.
  • If your rudeness was the reason for this fiasco, you need to apologize as soon as possible in an attempt to save the relationship.
  • He likes you but won’t be in a relationship with you because of his own insecurities. Inspire him to fight his insecurities with his willpower and your emotional support.
  • Stay away from him if you find any sign of him being a toxic person. Save yourself from emotional damage.

About the Author

Nirajana Mukherjee

Nirajana Mukherjee has been helping people find out their relationship queries since 2019. At Relationshippp she loved to talk about topics related to Dating, Affairs, Attraction, and Breakups. Her work can be seen in RelationshipExplained - A Renowned Relationship Blog. Nirajana has a Masters in English literature from St. Xavier's University.
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