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Dumper Wished Me a Happy Birthday (Reason & What to Reply)

Feature Image of Dumper Wished Me Happy BirthdayYour dumper wished you a happy birthday, probably because they are still in love with you. However, they could also be doing it out of sheer politeness and goodness of heart. There is no need to overthink the matter unless you want to get emotionally involved with your ex again.

In this article, we will discuss why your dumper wished you on your birthday. We will talk about the reasons along with ways to deal with the situation. Read on.

Reasons why your dumper wished you a happy birthday

  1. They remember your birthday: Your dumper wished you a happy birthday because they remember your birthday. Dates like these are hard to forget if you guys have had a long relationship.
    • They remember your birthday even if they don’t want to. They dumped you, but strong memories like these don’t seem to go away easily.
    • They wished you a happy birthday because that’s what they have been doing for years before they decided to break up with you. Without you, this date seems incomplete to them, even if they were the reason behind the breakup.
    • It is nothing but a force of habit. Your birthday is one of the many unnecessary pieces of information stored in their memory.
    • This can happen when the break up is more of an obligation than an option. They did not want to break up with you but had to for dire reasons. Wishing you on your birthday is a way to remember you and the relationship they had with you.
    • However, this doesn’t necessarily mean they are still in love with you. They probably have someone else in their life as a romantic partner now.
  1. They still love you: The dumper can wish you a happy birthday when they realize that they are still in love with you. They think it is the best way to start a conversation.
    • They wished you a happy birthday to start where you guys left off. They think your birthday is the best way to start things anew.
    • Your dumper has realized that they are still in love with you. They want to get back to your life. Your birthday is an opportunity.
    • Most people are happy on their birthdays. They want to make use of this opportunity. If you are a kind hearted person, you will probably not let them go empty-handed.
    • They hope that you will consider their offer to reconcile. They repent for losing you.
  1. They have acquired new feelings for you: Your dumper is falling for you again. That’s why they wished you on your birthday.
    • They dumped you once, and now they are falling for you again. They have acquired new feelings for you and want reconciliation.
    • They think you will forget everything with a little “Happy Birthday” from them. They think so because they can’t get you out of their mind these days.
    • This can happen if you have a recent glow-up that enhanced your physical appearance. This is a pretty shallow reason to fall for someone, but unfortunately, your dumper is more into physical appearance.
    • This can also happen if you have suddenly gotten stronger financially. They dumped you because you were broke, and now they want to come back because you have bagged a great job or inherited a considerable amount of property.
    • However, it is not always about superficial things like looks and money. They could genuinely be falling in love with you again. They regret breaking up with you and want to come back into your life as your partner if you are kind enough to allow that.
  1. They are being polite: Your dumper wished you on your birthday just to be polite. There is probably no other reason behind what they did.
    • They dumped you, but deep down, they are polite. That’s why they wished you a happy birthday.
    • There is no reason to think they are still in love with you. Thoughts like this will only give you false hope and eventual heartbreak.
    • They wished you on your birthday, but they are probably dating someone else now. They have moved on. The birthday wish was just a depiction of good manners.
  1. They are settling the score: You celebrated their birthday, after which they dumped you. Wishing you on your birthday is a way of settling scores.
    • While in the relationship, you guys always celebrated each other’s birthdays. But since the time they dumped you, things obviously have not been the same.
    • You celebrated their birthday before they dumped you, and now they feel guilty about leaving you alone on your birthday. They have wished you out of pity. They feel bad for breaking up with you.
    • It is a careless assumption that you will be alone on your birthday without them in your life. They give too much importance to their presence in your life.
    • This can also happen when they think of this relationship as one where you give something to receive something. They received a birthday wish from you before they dumped you. They probably received a gift too. Now that you guys are broken up, they have no way to return that favor normally. They are desperate to settle the score once and for all by wishing you a happy birthday. They will probably get you a gift too. They are doing this for the final closure.
  1. They want to torment you: They want to torment you by giving you false hope. A birthday wish from a special person means a lot, and they are using that sentiment to tease you in a sick way.
    • You loved them, and they dumped you. They won’t stop at that. Their twisted mind has instructed them to torment you.
    • They are playing with your emotions. They want to make you feel special by wishing you a happy birthday out of the blue.
    • The moment you think they are trying to reconcile, they will pull the rug from under your feet. They are here only to give you false hope.
    • They don’t love you anymore. They just want to make fun of your emotions, cruelly, on your birthday.
  1. They want to start a conversation: It’s true they dumped you, but this birthday wish could mean they want to start a conversation. They think you will talk to them as most people are extra happy on their birthday.
    • Your birthday is the perfect opportunity for them to initiate a conversation. They have been trying to talk to you for a while, but you were never in the mood to indulge their wish. But birthdays are different. They know you will not let them go empty-handed.
    • The urge to have a conversation can come from a sense of guilt. They regret dumping you. They want to apologize. They would probably come back to you if you allow that.
    • They dumped you probably because they got carried away. Now that they have realized their mistake, they want to be a part of your life again. They are hoping to pitch that idea in the conversation. That’s why they wished you a happy birthday.
  1. They want a peek into your post-breakup life: They want to see how your life is going post-breakup. They are nothing but curious, and that’s why they wished you on your birthday.
    • They broke up with you, but they are still interested in your life. The birthday wish was a depiction of their keen interest in your life.
    • They are curious to know how you have been doing without them in your life. They want to know if you are happy or sad.
    • They wished you on your birthday because they knew that would spur a conversation. Through the conversation, they will be able to know more about your life.
    • They want to know if you have moved on or if you have started dating other people. They are too curious to leave you alone with your life.
  1. They miss you: They wished you a happy birthday because they miss you. Dumping you was a mistake they can’t reverse.
    • They miss you all the time since they dumped you. They miss you even more on your birthday. They remember the times you spend together on special days like this.
    • Wishing you a happy birthday is their way of getting in touch with you. They know you don’t like them anymore, but that won’t help them get over their guilt of dumping you.
    • The dumper wishes to get back to you, but that is a distant dream as they have messed up this relationship in a horrible way. They know you will never come to them because of your self-respect. But that doesn’t stop them from missing you.
  1. They want to stay in your life as a friend: They want nothing but friendship. Wishing you a happy birthday is the first step towards fulfilling that wish.
    • They dumped you, and they regret that. The ideal situation for them would be to get back together with you. But that won’t happen until you want it to happen.
    • They have thought about it practically, and they just want to be your friend. They don’t want to be an over-reacher who aims for the moon by asking you out on a date.
    • They just want to be on talking terms. It won’t matter to them even if you have moved on. They just want a friendship that would allow them to apologize for messing up your life. That’s why they wished you on your birthday.

What to do (or not to do) when your dumper wishes you a happy birthday?

  1. Come up with a polite reply: Your dumper wished you a happy birthday. You can come up with a polite reply to that if you want.
    • It’s just another birthday wish. Respond to it in the way you have responded to all the other two hundred wishes.
    • Unabashed politeness can put you in a position of superiority as it shows how mature you are. It would make them think about their position in your life.
    • This would be easier if they sent a text to wish you a happy birthday. Just type a harmless “Thank you” as a reply to the birthday wish. Do that even if they have sent you a paragraph expressing their thoughts.
    • It might be a little difficult to get it over with a short reply if they call you up to wish you on your birthday. However, you can keep it as short as possible by showing that you are too busy to talk now.
  1. Ask them what they want: They definitely want something from you. That’s probably why they wished you on your birthday. Ask them what it is.
    • They dumped you, and now they are suddenly back with an emotional birthday wish. They might have a plan, and you need to know about that to plan your move.
    • Ask them what they want from you. Don’t expect the truth from them. They might say things like they still have feelings for you or that they miss you. Their words can be true, but they can be false too.
    • You had been with this person for some time before they dumped you. You will know them better than anyone else. Try to figure out if they are lying or not.
    • It will be easier to speak over the phone or in person. Meeting them in person will help you observe their body language. A phone call will only allow you to analyze their voice.
  1. Tell them what you feel about them: They wished you a happy birthday because they had their reasons. You will react to that as you please because you have your reasons. Tell your dumper what or how you feel about them.
    • If you don’t want them back in your life, be clear about it. Tell them that they made you feel like trash when they dumped you. You have moved on, and they should have nothing to do with your life anymore.
    • Tell them that you don’t feel anything for them anymore. They are wasting their time trying to win you back.
    • However, if you are into the idea of getting back with them, You will have to be a bit tricky about it. They have hurt you once, and you need to protect yourself from getting hurt again. You can never truly trust a dumper. Who knows, they could be doing this just to get laid.
    • Keep conditions for getting back to them. Tell them that if they hurt you one more time, they are done for good. You can also get rid of their annoying habits on the sly, as you have the upper hand here. You can tell them to stop doing whatever annoying little thing they used to do to irritate you.
  1. Try not to overthink: Try not to overthink the matter. They wished you a happy birthday, just like any other person. Let’s end your train of thought there.
    • The reason behind that birthday may very well be a revival of their feelings for you, but that doesn’t mean you have the pressure to do the same. You were heartbroken after they dumped you. You had worked too hard to get over them. You can’t let that go to waste.
    • Overthinking will only complicate matters. If you are over this relationship, treat that birthday wish as any other. They shouldn’t occupy your mind for no reason.
    • If you are thinking about reconciliation, don’t overthink that, either. Go and tell them how you feel. Things might run smoothly this time.
  1. Ask them not to torment you: If they are doing this simply out of spite, ask them to stop doing that. Ask them not to torment you anymore.
    • Be strong and ask your dumper not to torment you. They are doing this on purpose. The intention behind the sudden birthday wish was just to make you uncomfortable.
    • They are not in love with you, and they are not being polite either. They want to play with your feelings once again because that’s what makes their twisted mind happy. Don’t let them do this. Be firm and drive them out of your life with harsh words.
    • They should mean nothing to you when you have already moved on from this toxic relationship. You should stay as far as you can from this person.
  1. Stay friends with them: People can stay friends even after the breakup. You can stay friends with them if you think they are worthy of that. After all, they remembered your birthday.
    • Sometimes friendships turn out to be stronger than relationships. Just like Rachel and Ross or Rachel and Joey, you too can stay friends with an ex.
    • Your dumper wished you a happy birthday. That was probably the first text they sent after a long time. They remembered your birthday, and it meant you were still important to them.
    • If they did this while dating someone else, it could mean they are missing the friend they had in you. They are looking forward to reviving this friendship. You can stay friends with them.
  1. Discuss with your common friends: You guys must have common friends. Discuss the situation with them. They might be able to enlighten you with suitable ways to deal with the situation.
    • This is when friends are required. Your dumper wished you a happy birthday. You can consult your common friends about that.
    • They are in touch with your ex and will be able to provide you with information and valuable insight. They might know your dumper’s intention behind doing this.
    • These common friends can even give you advice to deal with the situation. The birthday wish is clearly bothering you. You need to talk to someone about it. Use your friends for that.
    • However, they can turn out to be harmful too. Their trustworthiness is questionable when they are your dumper’s friends too. They might pass on information about you to your ex.
  1. Try to ignore them if you are not into it: Simply ignore them if you are not sure about the idea of getting back together. They will get the cue if they are smart enough.
    • They dumped you. There can be no greater insult than that. They disregarded your feelings for them and now is the perfect opportunity for revenge.
    • You don’t have to behave nicely or be good to them. Ignore them if you can. Don’t take their calls, and don’t let them come anywhere near you.
    • If this happens over texts, ignoring them is even easier. Ghost them until they grow tired and stop bothering you.
  1. Try not to get involved in the relationship again: This relationship was a big mistake in the first place. They dumped you, and you spent months getting over it. Don’t get yourself into that mess again.
    • Once a dumper, always a dumper. They wished you a happy birthday because they miss you and want to get back to you. They want a second chance. But before you leap in, think about how they made you feel the last time.
    • Getting back together is probably not a great idea. They dumped you once. They might do it again. So, steer clear of the idea.
    • You can stay friends with them. But in that, too, maintain a distance. This will constantly make them remember what they did to you.
  1. Ask them to stay away: Thank them politely for the birthday wish, and ask them to stay away from your life in the future if you don’t want to engage in more conversations with them.
    • This is the most effective way to deal with the situation. Ask them to stay away from you, but be polite when you do that.
    • You have moved on, and there is no reason to get into conversations about the past. Looking back would only hurt you more.
    • If they fail to stay away from your life (or your inbox), block them from all social media handles. This should open their eyes so that they wouldn’t bother you again.


A few things to remember:

  • Your dumper regrets breaking up with you.
  • They miss you, and they want to be your friend.
  • They have accepted that you have moved on.
  • Common friends can often be untrustworthy. Carefully choose the people you talk to.
  • Be polite when you engage in any conversation with them. Don’t get into verbal fights, as that only affects your mental health.

About the Author

Nirajana Mukherjee

Nirajana Mukherjee has been helping people find out their relationship queries since 2019. At Relationshippp she loved to talk about topics related to Dating, Affairs, Attraction, and Breakups. Her work can be seen in RelationshipExplained - A Renowned Relationship Blog. Nirajana has a Masters in English literature from St. Xavier's University.
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