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She Friend-zoned Me but Still Flirts (Reasons & What Do you Do)

Feature Image of She Friend-zoned Me but Still FlirtsShe friend-zoned you but still flirts with you because she wants to keep you as an option. She is seeing someone else, but she knows you will be at her beck and call whenever she wants you. She flirts to keep you happy and hopeful about a future with her.

This article will help you understand the reasons why the girl who friend-zoned you keeps flirting with you. It will also attempt to give you a few suitable solutions to your problem. Read on.

Reasons why she flirts with you after friend-zoning you

  1. She wants to keep you as an option: She flirts with you after friend-zoning you because she wants to keep you as an option in case she is single in the future. She will keep giving you false hope to keep you in her life.
    • She is in a relationship with someone else, but she still flirts with you because she wants you to be a part of her life in case she breaks up with the other person. She wants you to be a spare tire.
    • She will use you when she feels lonely after the breakup. You are like a permanent rebound for her. If you observe carefully, you will find a distinct pattern in how she treats you.
    • She dates a guy and friend-zones you. When the guy dumps her, she crawls back to you for emotional support and friend-zones you again right after she finds another guy.
    • She flirts with you occasionally to keep you in her life with a little ray of hope that one day she will be yours. She is a toxic person who will never let you live your life on your own terms.
  1. She wants to use you for money: You are not important to her; your money is. She flirts with you even after friend-zoning you because she wants to use your money for he expensive tastes.
    • She has expensive tastes and an eye for pretty partners. You are not that pretty when it comes to adhering to socially prescribed beauty standards. You are rich.
    • She wants to use your money while dating a beautiful person. She flirts with you to keep you in her life for the money.
    • She is basically making a fool out of you to pay for expensive taste. She probably buys luxury goods from the money she takes you on a regular basis, saying she needs it for an emergency.
    • Have you ever seen her return the money she borrowed from you? You are too smitten with her to ask it back. She takes advantage and keeps you in the friend zone to exploit you for money.
    • She is a bad person who has been judging you for your looks all this while. Only your money matters to her. She thinks she is entitled to all the good things in the world.
  1. She wants you for her physical needs: She is unhappy with the sexual performance of her present partner. So, she has decided to use your body for pleasure. She wants the best of both worlds.
    • Her present partner could be rich and funny, but she is not satisfied with them sexually. You are a better option for her to fulfill her physical needs.
    • With you, she wants to be friends with benefits. She wants a physical relationship with no strings attached. You will still be in the friend zone when she is done making out with you.
    • She flirts to keep you in her life. She is neither in love with her present partner nor she is in love with you. She is a materialistic person who sees profit and loss in everything. She keeps her partner for the money and you for the sex.
  1. She wants you to be her friend in need: She needs you for unconditional support. You are her friend in need. She will keep stalling if you ask her out on a date.
    • She sees you as a friend in need. She needs you when she is in soup. You are her savior, but she will never go on a date with you, even if you ask her out a thousand times.
    • She lets you have hope with the occasional flirting. But that is where it ends. She is not interested in a romantic relationship with you.
    • She will need you when she needs money for an emergency. She will call you when she gets dumped. For her, you are a permanent shoulder to cry on. She likes you but only as a friend who is not allowed to be in a romantic relationship with her.
    • In the first season of F.R.I.E.N.D.S, when Rachel broke up with her perverted Italian boyfriend, Paolo, Ross hesitated to make his move. That was the time when Joey said that Ross was not just in the friend zone; he was the mayor of the zone. Similarly, you seem to have taken Ross’s place as the mayor of friendzone.
  1. She wants you to be happy and hopeful: She can’t say that she does not like you in a romantic way because that might break your heart. She flirts with you to give you hope and keep you happy for a little longer.
    • She wants you to provide for her unconditionally. For that, she needs you to be happy and stay hopeful. She flirts with you to make you think you still have a shot with her.
    • You are there in her life just because you think she is going to date you soon. If you observe her carefully, you will find her moving from one partner to another, ignoring your advances.
    • It would have been acceptable if she asked you to stay out of her life because she is not interested in you. Instead, she chose to play tricks with your mind to make you happy and hopeful for her benefit.
  1. She wants you to fight her fights: She friend-zoned you but flirts to keep you in her life because she wants you to fight her fights. She can deal with her difficulties all alone.
    • She knows that she will not be able to fight the adversities of life all alone. She needs someone to support her in her fights. It would be even better if someone fights with the challenges for her.
    • She wants you in her life to fight her fights. However, she is not interested in a relationship with you. What she wants is a bit absurd.
    • You guys are weirdly close but are not dating each other. She will probably date someone else over you. She would, however, flirt with you to keep you in her life so that you can serve her at her beck and call.
  1. She likes you subconsciously: She is in conflict with her subconscious mind. She friend-zoned you thinking you are not her type, but she has fallen for you subconsciously. That shows when she tries to flirt with you every now and then.
    • She likes you but does not know anything about it. She is probably dating another person while you stay in her mind.
    • She friend-zoned you because she thought you were not the right person for her while her subconscious mind had other plans. She has feelings for you but is not ready to admit it.
    • Her feelings for you often get manifested when she flirts with you. She does that unknowingly. Check out her behavioral patterns, and you will probably find her blushing while talking to you.

How to deal with the situation?

  1. Tell her how you feel: You need to tell her how you feel. You get mixed signals when she flirts with you.
    • Tell her how you feel about her when she tries to flirt with you the next time. She friend-zoned you because she is not interested in you romantically and wants to be with another person.
    • Ask her what you are doing in her life. She clearly does not want to have a romantic relationship with you. Ask her if she only wants favors from you.
    • She will probably never answer this question with honesty. However, her reaction to hearing this question will reveal a lot about her true intention.
    • Tell her what you feel about this strange relationship and ask her all the difficult questions about that. Make her think about what she is doing to you (and your mental health).
  1. Tell her you are not into this weird non-relationship: You have a life to deal with. Tell her you are not into this weird relationship. You have better things to do.
    • You have to admit that this relationship is weird. It can only be termed as a non-relationship. She only wants you in her life to fulfill her selfish needs. She does not even care to think about how it makes you feel.
    • You need to tell her that you are not going to be a part of this weird relationship anymore. She can find whomever she wants to do the chores for her.
    • What you have with her is extremely toxic, and it can do a lot of damage to your mental health. Get out of her life and point out her toxicity as a reason for your decision.
    • She occupies a large part of your life, and that is for nothing. She gains from it, but what do you get out of this relationship? She would never date you but will always exploit you for money, sex, and emotional support.
    • Tell her you have had enough of this and are no longer interested in this weirdness anymore. Say goodbye to her and try to move on with your life. She will only hold you back from all the good things that are yet to happen in your life.
  1. Stop giving her money: She is clearly using your money for her luxurious lifestyle. You need to stop giving her money and stick to that decision for the rest of your life.
    • She is only here for your money. Once you stop giving it, she will probably move on to the next person who could provide for her.
    • She is using you to fulfill her needs, and you need to step up to stop that. Ask her to stop exploiting you and refuse to give her any money.
    • You are like an ATM for her. She thinks she can do anything with you. She has basically taken you for granted. She thinks she owns your money.
    • Smash her dream and stop giving her money. Be clear about one thing; she will never be yours. She only wants the material things from you.
    • She might try to crawl her way back to you asking for your forgiveness (and, by extension, more money), but that is only a trick. Do not fall for that, as once she gets you to provide for her expensive tastes again; she will friendzone you to be with someone who she thinks is hotter than you.
    • She will use your money but is ashamed to be seen with you in public. You should stay away from her and stop giving her money forever. Once you have made the difficult decision, try to stick to it for the rest of your life. She has never been yours.
  1. Try not to fall for intimacy: She wants to use you as a mere sexual prop. Try not to fall for the intimacy she offers for a few hours. She is never going to date you.
    • Do not be a mere sexual prop for her if you are not into the concept of being friends with benefits. She is not in love with you and will never be. Waiting for her is a waste of time.
    • You tend to fall for her every time she seeks intimacy. It would have been great if you wanted no romantic relationship with her. But unfortunately, that is not the case with you.
    • You like her, and the fact that she will never be yours, even after much intimacy, breaks your heart. Try not to fall for intimacy the next time she comes to you looking for it.
    • Falling for it would only make you harbor hope for a relationship that is never going to manifest. She is not interested in you. My opinion says she is not in love with anyone, not even with her present partner. She would not have slept with you if she was in love with someone else.
  1. Try ghosting her on social media: She is using you for her benefit. You can attempt to stop this by ghosting her on social media. She needs to be put in her place.
    • Ghosting her on social media might drive her out of your life. You are here looking for answers, probably because you are tired of her entitled behavior. It’s time to stop it.
    • You need to put her in her place. She friend-zoned you because she is not interested in you but wants to have you at her beck and call all the time.
    • Ghosting her on social media will show her that you are not taking this behavior from her anymore. She needs to be aware of the damage she has done to your mental health.
    • Ghosting her will let her know that you no longer want her in your life. She will probably leave you alone after a while. However, she might try to come back, but in that case, you will have to stay firm about your decision.
  1. Get into a serious relationship with someone else: You deserve better. You need to be with someone who respects you and wants to be with you for the rest of their life. Break ties with her and get into a relationship with someone else.
    • You need to be in a relationship that has love and mutual respect. Find someone who will love you for the person you are. Be with someone who values you, unlike the one we are discussing.
    • The girl we are talking about is using you to fulfill her various needs. Find someone who will be perfect for you. Partners like these are hard to find, but once you find “the one” you will not have to look back to the harrowing past you had with the girl we are talking about.
    • She will probably take the hint and leave once you are in a serious relationship with someone else. However, if she tries to disturb you, you can throw a harsh word two at her to drive her away once and for all.
    • Be careful, as she will probably try to sabotage your relationship. Talk to your new partner about her and how she exploited you for her benefit.
  1. Call her out for her twisted schemes: You can call her out for what she is doing to you. Tell everybody about her twisted schemes.
    • She brought on a lot of damage to your mental health. You can call her out for her schemes and deception. She used you for her selfish gains, and now is the time to bring it out in the open.
    • You can take the help of social media to warn people of her twisted schemes. Tell everyone what she is like and what she does to people’s mental health.
    • You can talk about her to your common friends. They should know what she is truly like. You can even disclose her true nature to her partner.
    • You can also yell at her about this. She needs to bear the consequence of what she has done to you and probably so many other people before you.
    • When she used you to fulfill her physical needs, she was basically cheating on her partner, and they deserve to know that. She is the textbook example of a toxic person. You should not treat her with softness. Remember how she used you whenever your heart tires to fall for her again.
  1. Make her fall for you: You can make her fall for you just like Pete Becker made Monica fall in love with him in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. She friend-zoned you because you have not tried to woo her yet.
    • Pete Becker, in F.R.I.E.N.D.S, made Monica fall in love with him after being persistent for a long time. You can do it too. You need to be a bit patient.
    • Find that one aspect that will strike the chord. For Pete and Monica, it was a kiss. Pete was really good at kissing and when Monica realized that she instantly fell in love with him.
    • She friend-zoned you probably because she knows nothing about your romantic side yet. Try to convince her to go on a date with you and make her feel special.
    • Let her choose the venue. Your knowledge about her preference could come in handy in this case. If you know what she likes, it will be easier to choose a place to have your romantic date.
    • You can also spend more time with her. Get personal and talk about the intricate aspects of each other’s lives. Open up to each other. Conversations like this often spark love in people’s hearts. Who knows, she might end up kissing you by abruptly stopping you mid-conversation.

Tips

A few things to remember:

  • She wants to keep you as an option in her life in case she breaks up with her present partner. Flirting with you is like paying a subscription fee to keep you in her life.
  • She wants favors from you in the form of money, sex, or emotional support. She needs you to be at her beck and call all the time.
  • Say “no” when she tries to get you into her bed to fulfill her sexual needs. Tell her you do not intend to be friends with benefits with her. Ask her to find someone else for this job and move out of her life.
  • You can block her from all social media platforms to send her a clear message about her exit from your life.
  • Tell her that you no longer wish to be exploited by her tricky schemes. You can even call her out for that. She needs to be put in her place.
  • She is a toxic person who is ruining the lives of two people (you and her present partner) at once. You can contact her partner to let them know about the things she does behind their back.
  • You can simply stop giving her money. She has acquired an expensive taste with all the money she takes from you. A sudden stop to that will teach her a lesson. However, do not start giving her money again if she tries to come back (she most definitely will).

About the Author

Nirajana Mukherjee

Nirajana Mukherjee has been helping people find out their relationship queries since 2019. At Relationshippp she loved to talk about topics related to Dating, Affairs, Attraction, and Breakups. Her work can be seen in RelationshipExplained - A Renowned Relationship Blog. Nirajana has a Masters in English literature from St. Xavier's University.
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