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My Ex Didn’t Wish Me a Happy Birthday (Here's Why)

Feature Image of My Ex Didn’t Wish Me a Happy BirthdayYour ex did not wish you a happy birthday, probably because they do not want to start a conversation again. They have a history with you and are trying to move on. Wishing you a happy birthday and eventually ending up talking to you is bad for their mental health.

This article is going to help you understand why your ex didn’t wish you a happy birthday. Along with that, it will also help you deal with the situation in an effective way. Read on.

Reasons why your ex didn’t wish you a happy birthday

  1. They are not in love with you anymore: Your ex did not wish you a happy birthday because they are not in love with you anymore. They have moved on.
    • Your birthday is no longer an important date on their calendar. They did not wish you on your birthday because they did not consider you a part of their life.
    • They have moved on. You are a forgettable part of their past now. They are trying to flush you out of their life entirely.
    • Your birthday is supposed to be important to someone (other than your family) only when they are in love with you. They probably went out of their way to make your birthday special.
    • The cause of the break up is an issue to be discussed separately. What’s important now is the fact that whatever you guys had as a couple is now in the past. It is all over. Your birthday is not supposed to be important to them anymore.
    • They might remember your birthday (important dates like these are difficult to forget for some people, and your ex falls in that category), but they can rightfully choose not to wish you. They are only protecting themselves from post-breakup blues. Wishing you a happy birthday might bring back all the pleasant and unpleasant memories, making them hyper-emotional and weak.
  1. They are trying to move on: Your ex did not wish you on your birthday because they are trying to move on after the breakup. They do not want to start a conversation again.
    • Your ex is trying to move on. The breakup was hard on them. They want to get rid of the sadness it brings along. They do not want to travel on the same path again.
    • Wishing you on your birthday would have sparked a conversation. They are not ready for that. They have not moved on. A conversation with you can destroy months of progress.
    • They want to put this relationship in the past. Carrying the baggage forward would only lead to more tears, and it would interfere with their future relationships.
    • Chances are there that they will never wish you a happy birthday again. You, too, will have to accept that and move on with your life. Both of you deserve to be with people more suited to your personality.
  1. They have deleted or blocked your contact: Your ex did not wish you a happy birthday because they have deleted your contact details. It was a way for them to move on.
    • Deleting an ex’s contact details is a time-tested and effective way to move on after a breakup. Your ex is doing the same. They wanted to flush you out of their mind forever. Therefore, they deleted your contact.
    • This is a way for them to stop themselves from making the mistake of contacting you. This method has been used by many to forcefully stop them from doing or saying something that might do harm.
    • They have not forgotten your birthday yet. They are probably thinking about you on this day. They remember the good times you spent with them on your birthday. But none of that negates the fact that you guys were not great as romantic partners.
    • You had a great impact on your ex’s life. Therefore, forgetting you will be the toughest thing to do. They have to do the most difficult things to create distance.
  1. Their partner doesn’t like you: Your ex did not wish you on your birthday because of their present partner. Their partner doesn’t want them to talk to you. Their partner does not like you.
    • Their partner knows about your relationship. They do not want your ex to go anywhere near you (not even in texts).
    • They did not wish you a happy birthday because that, apparently, would bring them closer to you. These things are strictly forbidden by order of their present partner.
    • Their partner (obviously) does not like you. They think of you as a threat to their relationship with your ex. This situation can arise particularly when you and your ex have been on great terms post-breakup.
    • Your ex’s partner thinks you guys will end up falling in love with each other once again (from a harmless birthday wish) because you guys have too much toxic history.
  1. They don’t remember your birthday: Your ex did not wish you a happy birthday because they simply forgot the date. You guys are not together anymore. This had to happen someday.
    • You can’t expect a birthday wish from a person with whom you have broken up long back. Your ex remembered your birthday and wished you for a few years after your breakup. But honestly, it is not their responsibility. You are not entitled to receive a birthday wish from your ex.
    • This time, they did not wish you because they forgot your birthday. You guys remain out of touch all year. It is normal to forget important dates like this. There is nothing to chide them about.
    • This was supposed to happen someday or the other. Former lovers do not remember each other’s birthdays forever. You will also forget their birthday in the coming years.
    • It could also be that your ex was so busy with their life that they momentarily forgot that this day was your birthday. They remember the date and even wanted to wish you a happy birthday, but somehow it slipped right out of their mind.
  1. They won’t express their feelings for you: Your ex remembers your birthday, but they did not wish you because they do not want to express their true feelings for you.
    • They are trying to refrain from saying or doing something embarrassing. Conversations with you might open a can of worms they are unwilling to deal with right now. The true feelings we talked about earlier can be of two types.
    • They do not like you at all. They have a strong sense of hatred for you, but they do not want to bring that out in the open. They have dealt with the breakup in a mature way and have maintained a distance from you ever since. Wishing you a happy birthday will cancel out that distance, and things might turn ugly.
    • They want to deal with their negative feelings on their own. They understand your birthday is not the time to settle scores from the past. Their practical thinking lets them keep their history with you in the past.
    • It could also be that they still like you. They did not wish you on your birthday, as that would have sparked a conversation. They are scared of conversations with you and are afraid of ending up on the same path. They are in a dilemma.
    • If you have already moved on, they know their feelings do not matter. They are staying away from embarrassment. They still like you but can never say that to your face again because you are dating someone else now.
    • They would probably never talk to you again. You might not get a birthday wish from them ever again. They are trying to move on, and once they have gotten rid of their feelings for you, they will never look back.
  1. The breakup was a nasty one: Your ex did not wish you a happy birthday because you guys had a nasty breakup that kind of ensured a permanent no-contact situation.
    • Your breakup with them was like a nightmare. It was an exponentially multiplied version of the famous breakup of Ross and Rachel in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. You can’t expect them to wish you a happy birthday after that.
    • This happens particularly when the breakup involves cheating, a lot of lying, and numerous fights. By the time you guys were done fighting, things had already turned ugly enough to pull you apart.
    • Both of you had said things you should not have. Couples dealing with a breakup often tend to say immensely hurtful things to each other. They often use harsh truths and embarrassing secrets as weapons. They make personal attacks on each other until the relationship completely dies out.
  1. You forgot to wish them a happy birthday: Your ex did not wish you a happy birthday because you forgot to wish them their birthday. It is their way of making you realize your “mistake.”
    • They expected a birthday wish for you, which they never received. They were disappointed and now want you to feel the same.
    • They remember your birthday but won’t wish because they want to teach you a lesson. They probably are not ready for any excuse you come up with.
    • Even after the breakup, birthday wishes were your thing. It was the only thing that kept that thin string of attachment alive between you two.
    • With you not wishing them a happy birthday, the attachment is over (that is what they think). It is beyond repair now.
    • They won’t budge until you apologize to them or make up for what you have done. This is not an example of a healthy relationship. It is not even a healthy breakup. The breakup makes no sense when you guys are so weirdly attached to each other.

How to deal with this situation?

  1. Try to move on: It is not healthy to cling to the skeleton of a past relationship. This is the time to move on.
    • Your ex did not wish you a happy birthday for a distinct reason. It is legit for them. Trying to move on is a legit option for you.
    • This relationship is only a shell of its former self. Moving on would be the best for you.
    • Moving on will liberate you from all the negative thoughts that you have been harboring for so long now. It will help you see clearer.
    • They did not wish you on your birthday. That should not be a big deal because it is your ex we are talking about.
    • Think logically. Why should your ex matter so much? The relationship you had with them was a strained and toxic one. It was only doing harm.
  1. Forget about them and enjoy your birthday: Forget about your ex and enjoy your birthday. You do not have to feel bad about not getting that one birthday wish. You have so many other people around you who care.
    • Your birthday clearly does not matter to them. They did not wish you a happy birthday because they had their reasons.
    • Try to forget about them and enjoy your birthday. Forget about the unpleasant past. You broke up with them, so don’t pine over them.
    • Try to be happy on your birthday. Do things you like with your favorite set of people. Do not ruin the because of one missing birthday wish.
    • Your ex is not supposed to be a significant part of your life. You broke up with them for a reason. Waiting for them is not a great way to celebrate the one day of the year that is all about you.
  1. Call them the day after: You can call them the day after to check on them. Ask why they did not wish you a happy birthday.
    • It is not weird for two people to stay in touch after a breakup. Two people, once in love, can remain friends when the relationship falls apart.
    • Wishing each other on birthdays is common in situations like this. If you have a similar relationship with your ex, no calls or texts from them wishing you a happy birthday is a bit unnatural.
    • You can call them the day after your birthday to check on them. Ask them why didn’t they call you on your birthday. Check if they are doing well. Ask them if they need help with anything. Ask them what was so important that he forgot your birthday.
    • However, be polite when you do this. Unnecessary harshness can cause serious damage to whatever friendship you have with them.
  1. Upload stories for them to see: They made you feel bad by not wishing you a happy birthday. You can upload stories for them to see and make sure that they feel jealous of the good time you just had.
    • Click lots of pictures at your birthday party and upload them as stories on Instagram or Facebook (or both) with cool hashtags like #birthday, #birthdayphotos, #birthdayphotodump, and #bestbirthdayever. Take some inspiration from the hit Netflix series Emily in Paris.
    • Your social media should reflect that your ex does not matter to you anymore. Make them suffer from major FOMO. They made you feel bad with no contact on your birthday. This is your turn to do the same to them.
    • Your stories should say that you had a blast on your birthday and that you are better off without your ex in your life.
    • I know it is hard to let go of old feelings, but moving on is the best way for you to deal with the situation. Living in the past will only hold you back.
    • What is a better way than your birthday to let go of your past with a blast? You will feel once you have accomplished one major thing without the thoughts of your ex coming in the way.
  1. Invite your common friends: You can invite your common friends to spend your birthday with you. This will send a clear message to your ex.
    • Common friends often work as a bridge. This is the perfect time to use that bridge so that every piece of information about your blast of a birthday goes to your ex.
    • Inviting common friends will also show your ex who is more popular among friends. Their presence at your birthday party will show whom they have chosen.
    • You will know which of them are on your side. The ones who fail to appear are probably more loyal to your ex. But do not let that matter.
  1. Don’t wish them on their birthday: They did not wish you a happy birthday, do not wish them on their birthday either. They need to feel how you feel. However, chances are there that this will not have any effect on him.
    • Not wishing them on their birthday will send them a clear message about the fact that you were offended when they missed your birthday.
    • They might feel bad when you conveniently forget to call them on their birthday, but they will know why you did it. They might apologize to you after that.
    • However, this can also trigger them to end this relationship once and for all. They might stop contacting you altogether by blocking you from all social media accounts.
    • They might not feel anything at all about the absence of your text or call on their birthday. This shows they have moved on and forgotten about their past with you.
  1. Don’t meddle in their relationship: They might not be able to wish you a happy birthday if they are already in a new relationship. Their new partner will probably not allow this. Do not meddle in their relationship.
    • The absence of a birthday wish from your ex shows that they have moved on, and you need to accept that with an open heart.
    • Your ex can’t roam around you forever, hoping for reconciliation. A day will come when they will grow tired of this and want to stop. That day has come, and they have found a new love.
    • Their partner probably knows about you and can’t stand the fact that you used to be in contact with your ex. The partner has asked them to stay away from you, and your ex has obliged.
    • Do not meddle in their relationship. Interfering in their life can turn you put you in the position of a villain. Your meddling can cause their breakup earning you hatred from them both. Step out of your ex’s life with grace.
  1. Try to find someone better: It is your time to find someone better. Stop worrying about your ex and focus on finding new love.
    • You are living in the past when your ex has clearly moved on. Living in the past can only make you sadder about all that is happening around you.
    • Moving on is a big part of any breakup. The breakup happened for a reason (always remember that), and try to put it all in your past.
    • Accepting unfortunate events is important for self-growth. Once you learn to accept the non-existent status of your relationship with your ex, you will feel free enough to enjoy life without inhibitions.
    • Try to find someone who is more like you and be careful this time. Do not jump into the relationship this time. Take time to learn about the new person. Understand them better before you move forward.


A few things to remember:

  • Your ex has moved on, and so should you.
  • A birthday wish from them should not matter to you so much. The fact that it matters shows that you are not over them yet. You have not moved on.
  • Your ex could be trying to move on. That’s why they did not wish you a happy birthday. Do not interfere in their process of recovery.
  • Their present partner doesn’t like your presence in their life. You should stay away.

About the Author

Nirajana Mukherjee

Nirajana Mukherjee has been helping people find out their relationship queries since 2019. At Relationshippp she loved to talk about topics related to Dating, Affairs, Attraction, and Breakups. Her work can be seen in RelationshipExplained - A Renowned Relationship Blog. Nirajana has a Masters in English literature from St. Xavier's University.
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