How To Be a Better Husband: Tips and Advice for Improving Your Relationship
Working on your relationship as a husband helps you to maintain a good marriage and a happy home. Perhaps you think your spouse needs to change how they do things. Yet, there are things that you can do to build and maintain an excellent and harmonious relationship.
How to be a better husband? There are no complex rules for you to follow since it depends on what your spouse and you desire and expect from each other. However, some basics can help you improve your marriage.
1. Communication Techniques
Even a great marriage can crumble under the strain of grievances that are left unresolved because of a lack of communication. Still, many prefer to let issues fester because they fear offending their partner.
When your partner does something that annoys or irritates you, take the time to analyze the issue before criticizing. If it’s something that you can work on accepting, let it go. However, if it’s something you would like them to change, learn to communicate your feelings without offending your spouse.
Avoid using strong words, and address the topic clearly while giving valid reasons for your disagreement. Next, find a way to resolve the issue by reaching a compromise.
Therefore, the first tip to be a better husband is to work on your communication techniques.
That means you have to foster open and honest communication between you so you can express your feelings and concerns without fearing judgment.
Communication also entails listening. Learn to listen to what your spouse is saying and to validate their feelings.
Resolving disagreements with these communication techniques also helps to increase the trust you share, helping you put the relationship first.
2. Quality Time Ideas
Spending quality time with your partner helps make you a better husband by solidifying your bond and the foundation of your relationship. Quality time includes any activity you enjoy as partners where you share in the moment.
Some quality time ideas include:
- Going to the gym
- Doing chores, cooking, or shopping together
- Going on a date for dinner, to the theatre, cinema, or a picnic
- Watching a show together on
- Organize a weekend getaway or a photography adventure
- Have a game night for some fun and some healthy competitiveness
- Engage in your favorite outdoor activities, for example, walking, hiking, kayaking, or biking
- Plan a DIY project that you can work on together
- Have a spa day at home where you pamper each other in a spa-like atmosphere
3. Building Trust
Being a better husband entails knowing some of the do’s and don’ts of a good marriage. However, according to Marriage.com, understanding the five most essential characteristics of a good husband is more important.
Therefore, a good husband should be trustworthy, loyal, able to compromise, passionate about his choices, and love his kids, having fun with them even when tired.
The most challenging of these is building trust in a marriage. It’s a gradual process that requires commitment, consistency, and open communication.
Open Communication
We’ve already discussed the importance of fostering open, honest communication and active listening. Correct communication techniques are the most effective way to build trust.
Consistency
Consistency is critical to building trust. It requires that you follow through on your promises and commitments, helping establish reliability and dependability. Your actions, attitudes, and behaviors must also remain consistent to build predictability and security in your marriage.
Transparency
Transparency entails being open about your thoughts, feelings, and actions. If you want them to trust you, you should avoid keeping secrets or withholding information that could be important to your spouse.
Additionally, share your goals and aspirations to help you understand each other’s priorities.
Accountability
Accountability is about taking responsibility for your actions. If you make a mistake, admit it and work together on finding a solution. Also, avoid blaming your spouse for problems. Instead, focus on finding collaborative solutions and taking joint responsibility for the relationship’s well-being.
Respect
Treat your spouse respectfully and kindly, creating a safe and supportive environment. Don’t belittle them in front of others. Show appreciation for their efforts and value their opinions at all times.
Empathy
Always be empathetic towards your spouse’s feelings and experiences, whether celebrating achievements or during challenges. Try to understand your loved one’s perspective and validate their emotions. Always be there to celebrate their achievements.
Be Trustworthy
Demonstrate trustworthiness by being reliable and honest. Avoid engaging in behaviors your partner could perceive as deceitful.
4. Managing Finances
In most marriages, the management of finances usually falls on the husband, but that doesn’t mean you should create money stress at home. Don’t create panic if you notice that you are constantly overshooting your budget. First, see where to create more discipline in your spending habits before criticizing your partner for wasting money.
Once you have established where you are overspending as a family, approach your spouse and find a compromise that satisfies both.
Correctly managing your finances can help show your spouse they are your most significant investment with the best returns. Even when you cannot afford to give them the gifts they desire, your honesty, trustworthiness, and communication will help them understand that you must work together toward achieving material things in the future.
5. Balancing Work and Personal Life
How to become a better husband? Another great tip for becoming a better husband is shifting your perspective and focus concerning your work and hobbies. Yes, these are important, but you must balance your work and personal life, letting your partner feel you care about them above all else.
Here are some tips on balancing work and personal life:
Set Priorities - Clearly define your priorities at work and in your personal life. Identify what matters most to you and your family.
Establish Boundaries - Set clear boundaries between work and personal time, like avoiding bringing work home and being present and engaged with your family.
Create a Schedule -Develop a schedule that allocates time for work, family, and hobbies, and stick to it as much as possible.
Effective Time Management - Prioritize tasks and focus on your productivity, leaving more time for personal and family activities. Use technology to streamline your work. Avoid checking work emails and messages when spending time with your family.
Learn to say No and Delegate - Be selective about taking on additional work or commitments. It’s okay to say no when you need to prioritize your personal life. Don’t be afraid to delegate tasks at work and home. Recognizing when you need help and sharing responsibilities with others is essential to balancing work and family.
Set Realistic Goals - Set achievable goals for your professional and personal life to avoid stress and frustration.
Communicate with Your Spouse – Tell your spouse about your work commitments and schedule, allowing you to discuss expectations and find compromises together.
Quality Over Quantity - Concentrate on the quality of time spent with your family rather than the quantity by making the moments count.
Self-Care - Make time for self-care activities that rejuvenate you, like exercise, hobbies, or simply relaxing and unwinding.
6. Showing Appreciation
When you first fall in love, the infatuation makes you overlook anything annoying about each other. With time, you get pulled along by the stress of balancing work, home, finances, etc., causing your relationship to suffer as you forget to show appreciation for your partner’s contributions, which are often too small to notice.
Showing appreciation is easy once you know which things your partner offers. You shouldn’t have to dig too deep to find daily things you feel grateful for. Show your appreciation for that special meal or your partner organizing a dinner party for one of your special occasions. The list of things you can show appreciation for is endless, but some include;
- Walking the dogs or caring for your other pets
- Making breakfast or offering your afternoon coffee
- Tidying up after the children
- Doing the grocery shopping
- Making sure you always have your favorite treats at home
You get the gist!
7. Resolving Conflict Peacefully
While conflict can understandably lead to tension and high emotions, you must remain respectful and work together to find a solution by communicating and compromising.
To be a better husband requires remaining accountable for your actions, recognizing your role in certain situations, and showing your partner your willingness to resolve issues.
According to Love is Respect, conflict is normal, but there is a healthy and peaceful way to resolve issues:
Establishing Boundaries
You must treat each other with respect, even during an argument. If your partner insists on swearing, calling you names, or saying demeaning things about you, ask them to stop. Walk away if they continue, telling them why you feel it’s better to continue the argument when they can speak to you more respectfully.
Allow each other room to express your thoughts and feelings, but always start an argument by considering your loved one’s feelings before saying what they have done and how you are feeling.
Finding the Real Issue
Arguments often happen when one partner feels their needs or wants are unmet, leading to blaming each other for endless problems. Therefore, arguments are usually about insecurities, not what food you should order, your partner never taking the rubbish out, or a mixture of things that bother you.
Consequently, it’s crucial to find the real issue behind your argument and resolve it to get to the heart of the issue and avoid constant arguments.
Agree to Disagree
Not all issues are easy to resolve. If you reach a dead end on an issue, it’s better to give up on it. If you can agree to disagree on an issue, it’s great. Some problems are difficult to overcome, but that is serious for your relationship because it may indicate incompatibility.
Reaching Compromises
Compromise is a significant part of conflict resolution in successful relationships. Some people call it a win-win situation. Take turns making decisions about issues. Otherwise, try finding a middle ground, making you both feel satisfied with the outcome. It requires communication, active listening, and an open mind to resolve issues, meaning you talk, listen, and consider both sides to reach objective solutions.
8. Cultivating Emotional Intimacy
Cultivating emotional intimacy is crucial to building a solid and connected marriage. Unlike physical intimacy, emotional intimacy involves sharing feelings, thoughts, and experiences with your spouse to deepen your connection.
Here are some tips on how to cultivate and prioritize emotional intimacy with your loved one to help you in your quest to become a better husband:
Open and Honest Communication – Adopt an environment where you both encourage open and honest communication, sharing your thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
Listen Actively – Listen to your partner actively by making eye contact, paying full attention, and remaining engaged. Try not to interrupt and try to understand her perspective.
Express Your Feelings – Share your emotions with your spouse by letting them know everything you feel at positive or challenging moments. Sharing your vulnerability helps build strong emotional bonds.
Spend Quality Time Together - We have touched on the importance of spending quality time together as often as possible. It helps create a deeper understanding of each other’s emotions and experiences.
Show Empathy - Be an empathetic and supportive husband. Try to understand and validate your partner’s feelings, even if you don’t always fully agree. Empathy creates a sense of emotional connection and support.
Create Rituals - Establish rituals that promote emotional connection, such as having a regular check-in or sharing daily highlights. These rituals reinforce the importance of emotional intimacy in your relationship.
Share Your Dreams and Goals - Discuss your dreams, aspirations, and goals to help understand each other’s desires and show your support.
Apologize and Forgive - Apologize when necessary and forgive each other. Holding grudges can hinder emotional intimacy, while forgiveness allows emotional intimacy to grow and encourages healing.
Be Present - Be fully present when you are with your loving other. Minimize distractions, put away electronic devices, and focus on connecting.
Celebrate Achievements and Provide Support During Challenges - Celebrate each other’s achievements, no matter how small. Additionally, support and understand your partner’s difficulties during challenges, helping create a solid emotional bond through shared experiences.
Learn Each Other’s Love Languages - Understand and appreciate each other’s love languages. Knowing how your spouse expresses and receives love can enhance emotional intimacy.
Gestures of Affection – Suprise your partner with thoughtful gestures, showing that you are thinking about them.
Remember that building emotional intimacy is an ongoing process. It requires time, effort, and a willingness to be vulnerable with your spouse. Investing in emotional connection can create a deeper and more fulfilling relationship.
About Jacob Maslow
After surviving the traumatizing events of 9/11, I took it upon myself to heal through helping others. I’m the primary caregiver of my children and understand from first-hand experience the lonely paths you have to walk as a partner and parent when leaving an unhealthy relationship.
We’re all echoing in a dark space that doesn’t have to be this empty, and that’s been my mission since finding solace and recovery in therapy: To help comfort others who are still in shock and at the prime of their struggle.
I came across BetterHelp after searching for this type of community. I wanted to belong to a body of proactive therapists and supportive therapy veterans who allowed me to see other sides of the story.
It was unconventional, and that’s what attracted me most. During my most challenging times, when my ex-wife completely cut me off from my children, I found comfort and clarity through BetterHelp.
Instead of being chained to a strict therapist recommendation, I was in charge of who I felt understood my struggle most. That allowed me to find my true peace, as I was reunited with those who read behind my words and had first-hand experience with my trauma.
Recovery is a choice; with BetterHelp, that choice will be a few clicks away. You can join their couples-oriented platform, Regain.us, for those stuck with family estrangement and toxic relationship patterns.