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My Boyfriend Doesn't Text Me Much Anymore (Reasons & Solutions)

Feature Image of My Boyfriend Does Not Text Me Much AnymoreYour boyfriend doesn’t text you much anymore, probably because he is losing interest in you. The relationship has reached a dead end. He barely has anything left to say or discuss. He is going to break up with you soon. However, he can also do this if he is busy.

In this article, I will help you find the reasons why your boyfriend won’t text you as much as he did before. The reasons are followed by a few possible solutions that might attempt to help you in this situation. Read on.

Ten reasons why he doesn’t text you much anymore

  1. He is losing interest in you: He doesn't text you anymore because he is losing interest in you. You are an unpleasant monotony in his life.
    • Your presence doesn't excite him anymore. The relationship has turned into a habit.
    • He is losing interest in you. Texting you is a burden to him these days.
    • This probably wasn't the situation a few years ago. There was excitement and fun.
    • Everything about this relationship has turned slow. It's almost methodical. You guys probably have exhausted topics to talk about.
  1. He is facing problems at home: It's not about you. He won't text you at the moment because he has problems at home.
    • The problems at his home need his attention right now. He is too engrossed in them to text you frequently.
    • These problems can range from a loved one being sick to financial issues. Whatever the reason is, he is not doing this on purpose.
    • The situation probably won't remain like this forever. He would return to being his formal self when the problem subsided. Till then, you will have to be a little patient.
    • The future of the relationship depends on how you behave in this distressing time. Try to empathize with him.
  1. He has fallen for someone else: He likes someone else. Texting you is not a priority for him now.
    • Your boyfriend doesn't text you anymore because he has fallen for someone else. He doesn't feel anything for you anymore.
    • His feelings for the other person are stopping him from texting you. A sense of guilt might be at work here.
    • The other person doesn’t like you. They have asked him to break up with you. But his hesitation in doing that is getting reflected in the reduced contact.
    • He could be feeling guilty about cheating on you. The lack of texts refers to the fact that he is unwilling to face you with the truth.
  1. He is studying for an exam: It's not that he doesn't love you. He is not texting you because he has got an exam to prepare for.
    • Certain exams are competitive, and they require a lot of preparation. Your boyfriend is spending sleepless nights over such an exam.
    • He will start texting you as he used to before once the exam is over. At this moment, he is a bit preoccupied with his studies.
    • Texting you shouldn't be a priority for him, with an impending exam knocking on his door. He should be able to concentrate on his studies without worrying about the future of this relationship.
  1. He has no time for you: For him, texting you is a waste of time. He doesn't consider you worthy enough.
    • He doesn't value you enough. You are just another person for him. He probably behaves like this in all these relationships.
    • He thinks he has better things to do than texting you. For him, it is a sheer waste of time.
    • He has taken you for granted. He thinks you would never leave him because of his behavior. He values himself more than anyone else. He is basically a narcissist.
    • He thinks you don't have other options and regards himself as your only hope. He thinks he can treat you horribly and get away with it.
  1. You did something to upset him: He won't text you because you probably have done something to upset him (knowingly or unknowingly). He wants you to admit your mistake.
    • You must have done something to upset him. He wants to know whether you are aware of it or not.
    • He wants you to recognize your mistake. He would not tell you anything about it. He will wait for you to realize it on your own.
    • Not texting you is his way of acting out. He wants to make you feel bad with no contact.
    • He wants you to apologize for what you have done to upset him. He will probably expect you do that even if you were right.
  1. He is going to break up with you: He is done with this relationship. He doesn't text you anymore because he is going to break up with you.
    • The relationship has nothing more to offer. He is done with it. He won’t text you much in this situation, as he is probably going to end the relationship.
    • The idea of breaking up with you is keeping him from texting you frequently. He wants to distance himself from you.
    • He needs to focus on a life without you, and for that, he needs to stay away. Texts often engage people in conversations for a long time. He is unwilling to do that.
  1. He has fallen sick: He can't text you when he is not well. When unwell, his priority should be getting well soon. Texting you can happen later.
    • He has fallen sick. His physical ailment is keeping him from texting you. If he suffers from a prolonged illness, he wouldn’t be able to text you much for even longer.
    • In a situation like this, his priority should be recovery. He should have all the support he needs to get well soon.
    • He is already worried about his health. He shouldn’t be worried about the future of this relationship with you over the lack of a few regular texts.
  1. He has work pressure: Work pressure can weigh a person down to a great extent. He won't text you anymore because of work pressure.
    • The lack of text messages is a direct result of work pressure. He is too busy with work to spend time with you (even on texts). He doesn’t have the time to breathe.
    • The pressure at his workplace leaves him with no time to spend on his personal life. He fails to spend time with you even if he wants to.
    • You are here with your question, probably because this is a new situation. He was not like this even a few days ago. This sudden surge in work pressure is a recent development.
    • He needs to move forward in his career, and for that, he will have to deal with all the work pressure that he comes across with efficiency.
    • However, that doesn’t mean he has stopped loving you. He still has affection for you but doesn’t have the time to show that with constant contact over texts. He expects you to be supportive and understanding.
  1. He has found new hobbies: New hobbies often engage us for long periods of time. Your boyfriend has found a new hobby. It is keeping him from texting you frequently.
    • New hobbies can take up a lot of leisure time. Your boyfriend won’t text you much anymore because of his new hobby.
    • If he is into painting, learning it with precision will take up a lot of his leisure. The time he used to spend texting you will have to be cut short in this case.
    • Fine arts need a lot of perfection. If he is even a tenth of a perfectionist, he will spend a ridiculously large amount of time coming up with the perfect version of the art he is practicing.
    • The same applies to any other thing he chooses to do. He has chosen the hobby to focus his mind on something other than the monotony of work. He deserves it, and he also deserves your support in this.

What to do when your boyfriend barely texts you anymore?

  1. Check if he is losing interest in you: Try to find out if your boyfriend is losing interest in you. The lack of texts from him can point to the fact that he has lost interest in you and this relationship.
    • The next time you meet him, observe how he behaves with you. If he seems aloof and unmindful, it’s a red flag.
    • Observe how he behaves with you when you are alone with him. Is he more vocal when his friends are around? If yes, then I have bad news for you. He can’t deal with the idea of being with you alone, even for a few hours.
    • Check if you guys have anything to talk about. If you have to look too hard for common areas of interest, this relationship doesn’t make sense anymore.
  1. Call him: Call him if he won’t text you as much as he did before. A call might ensure the conversation you deserve.
    • Texts can be left seen without a reply. They often fail to show what the person on the other side is thinking. Calling someone is better when you want to have a serious conversation.
    • Call him to talk about the situation. Ask him what’s wrong. Calling him will ensure a conversation.
    • You can ask questions like:
      • We don’t text each other as much as we did before. Why is that?
      • Do you have something to tell me?
      • Why won’t you reply to my texts?
      • Do you still like me?
  1. Check if he is cheating on you: Try to find out if he is cheating on you. He doesn’t text you much anymore, probably because he is seeing someone else.
    • Ask your common friends to bring out information. They can try to make him talk about the other person by gaining his trust.
    • You can check his activity on social media. He will definitely leave a clue if he is careless enough. Your job is to find that.
    • Check if he likes someone’s picture repeatedly. Look for patterns in his social media presence. You can also ask one of your friends to do that for you.
    • Try following him around for a while. I know it’s called stalking, but you need to know what he is up to for your sanity. However, stay within your limits while you do that. Don’t overstep your boundaries.
  1. Apologize if you did something to upset him: He won’t text you anymore, probably because you did something to upset him. He hopes for an apology.
    • If he hopes for an apology, let him have it. Apologize for what you have done.
    • He wants you to acknowledge the fact that you were wrong to say or do the things that upset him. You need to own up to your mistakes.
    • Your apology should come right out of your heart. There is nothing worse than a half-hearted apology or a false apology that you don’t mean.
    • He wants to see if you are truly repentant about what you have done. Your apology would mean a lot to him. It can mend the rift between you guys.
  1. Ask him what’s wrong: He won’t text you much anymore, and you deserve to know the reason. Directly ask him what’s wrong.
    • Stop beating around the bush and approach the person you are so concerned about with your questions. Ask him if there is anything wrong.
    • Try to figure out what is going on in his mind through conversations. Conversations can help you deal with a number of difficult problems.
    • Meet him and try to solve the matter in person. Texts and phone calls can be avoided. Your physical presence will be difficult for him to avoid.
    • Listen to his problems carefully if he decides to share them with you. Being attentive might help you help them with their problems.
  1. Offer to help: Offer to help if you can. That would mean a lot to him, especially if the problem is not about you.
    • Offering help would make you appear kind and thoughtful to his eyes. It would make him think that you are interested in his life.
    • Your offer to help will be seen as a genuine gesture of affection from a person who cares about him deeply.
    • If you are not a part of the problem, your help would mean you are willing to help him no matter what the situation is. It will be a gesture to show you are there for him through thick and thin.
    • Your offer to help should not be an empty one. Do whatever you have promised and do it with perfection. If you have decided to be mental support for him in times of need, try to be that wholeheartedly. Any fraudulent behavior on your part will not go unnoticed.
  1. Meet him in person: Meeting him in person can help you sort out the matter. A face-to-face conversation holds a lot of potentials.
    • Texts and calls will not be able to help you in decoding his words with respect to his facial expressions when he speaks them. Meeting him in person will allow you to read his expressions. It will help you understand what goes on in his mind.
    • It has a personal touch that is often missing in texts and calls. Both texts and calls could be dodged. Texts can be left seen, and calls can be disconnected at random. But when you meet him in person, he will have much lesser options to dodge you or the conversation you are about to have.
    • If the situation is a result of an ongoing rift between you guys, a face-to-face meeting will help you get over it. You guys might make up the fight that continued for a long time over dodged phone calls and text messages without a reply.
  1. Try to spend more time with him: Try spending more time with him. He won’t text you probably because you don’t have enough time for him.
    • The lack of texts from him matters to you, and that’s why you are here looking for a solution to your problem.
    • Is he really the problem here? When was the last time you went out on a date with him or simply sat with him on the couch eating junk food while watching Netflix? If you have to think about it, I think you have received your answer.
    • You are the problem here. If you want him back in your life like what he used to be at the beginning of the relationship, you, too, will have t,o just as you were in the beginning.
    • Try to spend more time with him. Spending time doesn’t always mean spending money on expensive dates. Most of your problems will disappear when you start spending time with him.
    • You guys can hang out at each other’s apartments. Order food that you like and kick back with a beer to relax.
    • You guys can take a trip to the nearest hiking trail. Spend a weekend at the beach or Disneyland. Do things that make you people happy.
  1. Talk to him about your problems: His behavior has proven to be a problem for you. It is affecting your mental health. Now is the time to talk to him about it.
    • Talk to him about your problems. Tell him how you feel about his reluctant behavior.
    • You can tell him all about the high hopes you had for this relationship and how they are getting squished under petty fights that last for days as no one would budge.
    • Have a mature conversation with him and try to come to a conclusion that is beneficial for both.
    • You guys can even visit a therapist. However, ask for his consent before you do that. Don’t hide vital information from him, especially the one that concerns him or both of you. That can cause more problems than solving the one we are discussing.
  1. Take a break from the relationship: If things are getting out of your hand if you are no longer able to control the situation, take a break from this relationship.
    • You guys need a detour. Take a break from the relationship and walk alone for a while.
    • He won’t text you for the reason that you don’t think is good enough to fight about. If you guys can work things out in a civil manner, taking some time off would be the best decision.
    • A relationship has its share of problems. But it can only be solved with conversation and space.
    • You guys should allow each other some space. This becomes a necessity, particularly when you guys are a clingy couple.


A few things to remember:

  • A relationship needs to have clarity and effort. It cannot be established within a day.
  • You need to have patience when it comes to dealing with an upset partner. Try to be a good listener.
  • Try to solve his problems only when you are sure about them. Don’t push him over the edge while helping him out of obligation.
  • If you have to apologize for something you have done to upset him, do it as you mean it. Your facial expression might rat out your true thoughts.
  • The conversation is key here. It can mend a broken relationship better than you think. Talk to him about your problems and listen to what he has to say about your presence in his life.
  • Even after all your effort, he sticks to being reluctant about you and this relationship; think twice before you move forward in this.

About the Author

Nirajana Mukherjee

Nirajana Mukherjee has been helping people find out their relationship queries since 2019. At Relationshippp she loved to talk about topics related to Dating, Affairs, Attraction, and Breakups. Her work can be seen in RelationshipExplained - A Renowned Relationship Blog. Nirajana has a Masters in English literature from St. Xavier's University.
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