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He acts differently when we are alone

He acts differently when you guys are alone because he likes you. This could happen when you two have known each other for a while. His feelings for you are new, and he is not ready to let others know about them. However, he wants to give you a hint.

Through this article, I will help you figure out why he acts differently when alone. Scroll down, and you will find a list of possible reasons for his behavior, followed by a list of ways to deal with the situation.

Reasons why he acts differently when you guys are alone

  1. He likes you: He acts differently when you guys are alone because he likes you. Being alone makes him feel things that cannot be felt when you two are part of a crowd. He cannot show that he likes you in front of even a few people.
    • Solitude with someone special can bring in a flood of thoughts. His affectionate feelings for you find a way to channel themselves when he is alone with you. He fails to express these feelings in the middle of a crowd or even with a few people around.
    • His strange behavior when you two are alone can only be explained with a romantic angle. He likes you. He may have known you for a while as a friend or an acquaintance. Being alone with you was not an issue for him before he acquired romantic feelings for you. He may or may not be aware of his feelings.
    • It is a lot easier when he is aware of his feelings. He knows he likes you. Acting differently when you are alone with him could be a part of his way of letting you know that he harbors affectionate feelings for you. Being alone with you allows him to profess his feelings freely. Instead of saying he likes you directly, he has depicted his feelings through his behavior.
    • He could also be unaware of his feelings. In that case, being alone with you makes him feel strangely happy and nervous at the same time. He likes the feeling, yet he wants it to stop. It could be a little unnerving for him.
    • Not knowing about one’s feelings can lead to a series of confusing situations before one realizes what one truly wants. This is probably what is happening to the person we are discussing. Here are a few other things people do when they like someone.
  2. He wants no one to know about his feelings: He likes you but does not want the world to know anything about that. He acts differently when you guys are alone because that is when he feels safe to deal with his feelings. He is not ready to go public yet.
    • A guy acting differently when you two are alone could mean many things. Such behavior is often romantic or sexual. But he dreads going public about his feelings. He wants to keep you a secret. He does not want to confess his feelings even to you. He won’t say that he likes you, but he might continue to behave in a weird way.
    • He could be afraid of commitment. Like Chandler from F.R.I.E.N.D.S or Penny from The Big Bang Theory, he is too sacred to talk about his feelings. He likes you and wants to be with you. The only thing stopping him from taking a step ahead is his commitment issue. That is the reason why he behaves differently whenever you two are alone.
    • Going public would make the relationship official. He is not ready for that. Being affectionate with you in public would make people question him. He wants to give himself some time before that begins to happen. He tries to be two different people in these two situations. As a result, you seem utterly confused and your confusion brought you here.
    • It is okay to take time before making a big romantic commitment. His commitment issues are legitimate. He has his reasons to behave the way he does. However, making you uncomfortable, by acting differently (without a proper context) when you are alone, is not okay.
  3. He wants you to take a hint: He acts differently when you are alone to let you know how he feels. He wants to drop a hint for you. The fact that you are here proves that he successfully makes you think.
    • This could happen when he is terrible with words. He knows that he will mess things up if he starts to speak. That is why he has chosen to behave weirdly when you two are alone, to let you know how he feels for you. He is dropping hints for you to pick up.
    • Some people often shy away from professing their feelings for someone. They find themselves out of good words to frame sentences that would help them talk about their feelings. The guy we are discussing falls into that category.
    • Shy people have a plethora of ways (other than speaking) to depict romantic feelings. Some people dedicate songs while others paint pictures. Some write poems while others upload cryptic posts and stories on social media. The point is, that everyone has their way of dealing with their lacuna.
    • In your situation, the guy we are dealing with has replaced words with relevant actions (and that too when you two are alone). His actions might be relevant, but the lack of context can make the person on the receiving end extremely uncomfortable. He is too shy to make his affection public, and that makes him behave differently in different situations.
  4. He can’t function without a large group of people: A large group can be a source of distress for many. However, for him, it is a boon. He can’t function well without a large group of people. That is why he behaves weirdly when you two are alone.
    • Being around too many people can be an anxiety-inducing task for most. But for the guy that we are discussing, there can never be too many people. He loves being around people and the lack of a crowd around him makes him anxious.
    • This behavioral issue can stem from the constant urge to be the center of attraction in all social situations. He always has to be the most important person in the room. This fixation over attention causes him to act differently when alone with you.
    • This scenario may or may not have a romantic angle. His fixation on attention has nothing to do with romance. He needs it for himself. Being alone with you feels like a waste of time to him. He wants to be around people as much as he can.
    • Observe him to find that he cannot carry out one-on-one conversations. He acts differently when with you because he has nothing to discuss. A large group of people ensures a wide variety of topics. Being alone with you barely provides him with one.
    • His urge to be around people can also stem from his childhood experiences. He probably was one of the popular kids in school. He never faced a lack of attention back then. Being surrounded by people all the time has made him unsuitable for carrying out meaningful conversations with one person. He is an extrovert with bad social skills.
    • His urge to be around people can be the result of trauma. Being alone with someone scares him. He acts differently when alone with you because he is afraid of getting hurt. Crowds make him feel safe. A recent misfortune or an unfortunate incident from a distant past may be responsible for his behavior.

  1. He feels uncomfortable around you: He behaves differently when you two are alone because he feels uncomfortable around you. How he thinks might have something to do with your behavior in the past. However, it can also be about his insecurities and mental health issues.
    • Did you ever behave inappropriately with him? Did you do something to make him feel uncomfortable? If your answer is “yes,” it is okay for him to behave differently when you two are alone. He judges you based on his past encounters with you. He does not want to be alone with you because your presence makes him uncomfortable.
    • What is normal for you can be inappropriate for him. Asking him out on a date is probably a casual thing for you, but he found it wildly inappropriate for some reason. It is not always your fault, especially when you have done nothing wrong or something unknowingly. He is acting this way because of irrational fears and inhibitions that he does not want to deal with.
    • However, his weird behavior is justified when you intentionally make him uncomfortable. He does not feel safe around you. You have done things to irritate him or harm him in the past. You have disturbed his mental health. He just wants to avoid you. He wants to forget the unpleasant experiences. Being alone with you triggers him. He acts differently because of the trauma.
    • He could feel uncomfortable around you if you two were in a relationship in the past. Exes often get uneasy around each other because of the shared unpleasant history. He has moved on (or is trying to move on). You are the last person he wants to meet. Being alone with you must be extremely difficult for him. He feels awkward. That is the reason why he acts differently.
  2. He wants to say something: He acts differently when you guys are alone because he wants to say something to you. His weird behavior hints at the hesitation. He wants to communicate with you but does not have the courage or the right way to do so.
    • He has something to say. The task is not easy for him. That is why he acts differently when you two are alone. He is too shy to talk to you. If the weird behavior is a pattern, know he has been trying to tell you something for a while.
    • He overthinks, and as a result, he is scared of embarrassment. His fear makes him act weird around you. The way he behaves is a textbook example of nervousness. He is indecisive about telling you what he has to say. Acting differently when you two are alone makes things worse.
    • He is not able to communicate with you because he dreads rejection. He wants to approach you but is scared you will refuse. This mostly happens when someone likes you. Secret romantic feelings often trigger the fear of rejection. He fears his feelings will remain unrequited and thinks it is better to sulk alone than face rejection from the person he likes.
    • He acts weird when you two are alone because he fears your reaction to what he has to say. He thinks you might get offended by his words. He might take a lot of time to tell you what he has to say. He is in a dilemma and is probably looking for a safe space to discuss his feelings.
  3. He knows you like him: He acts weirdly when he is with you because he knows you like him. Knowing someone has a crush on you might make you giddy. He feels elated with the information about your feelings for him and can’t hide the excitement.
    • You are concerned about his strange behavior because you are interested in him. He behaves that way because he knows your secret. He wants to show you that he knows. He does not want to brag about that to other people—acting differently only when you two are alone means he wants to keep your secret safe.
    • He wants you to admit that you like him. Acting weird is how he has made you spill the secret. He wants you to approach him first. He must have observed your behavior (how you act when alone with him) to reach this conclusion.
    • He is happy that you like him, but he still needs to be sure. He required verbal confirmation. He may want you too, but now that he knows you are into him, he will not admit that until you make the first move. He is playing hard to get.
  4. Someone has said something about you to him: He acts differently when you two are alone because someone had said something about you to him. The information is probably negative. He is looking at you from someone else’s point of view. He is judging you based on rumors he believes are true.
    • There are rumors about you, and he believes them. This can happen in several scenarios, including where he has known you for a long time. The fact that he believes in rumors about you proves that he does not trust you. He seems to think in someone else’s opinion of you over his judgment.
    • Not just you; he does not trust anyone who cares about him. He has trust issues, but he also gets easily swayed by other people’s opinions. Like most people with trust issues, he believes in strangers more than he believes in his near and dear ones. He acts differently when you two are alone because he sees you in a different light now.
    • However, it is okay for him to fall for rumors when he knows nothing about you. He believes what he sees and hears. He must have heard something about you from a source that he finds reliable. He could have heard it from a familiar friend closer to him than you. People who are jealous of you can also mess with your life by presenting rumors before you in a believable manner.
    • Falling for rumors and acting weird because of it proves that he never truly trusted you. Think twice about getting into a relationship or being friends with a person like this. Chances are there that he will never be able to trust you. Trust issues in any relationship can turn toxic in a blink. He will keep falling for rumors, and you will keep spending the rest of your time with him explaining yourself. Remember, you do not owe him an explanation whenever he loses his mind over silly rumors.
    • Rumors are often negative. However, if it is about someone special or someone close, one should never forget to cross-check before judging. Cross-checking is totally up to him and his conscience. He will only check if the rumors are true when he finds it too fishy to believe. For that, he needs to know you a little better. Barely knowing anything about you will never make him think that what someone else is saying about you could be a lie. Here is what he can do because of rumors.

What do you do when he acts differently while he is alone with you?

  1. Ask him if he likes you: He acts weird whenever the two of you are alone. This might mean he has latent feelings for you. You need to ask him if he likes you.
    • People who harbor feelings for you often act out in strange ways. You are worried because he acts differently when you two are alone. He might be into you. His romantic interest in you is making him act giddy and awkward. Such behavior can be uncomfortable for the person at the receiving end.
    • Be straightforward and ask him what he wants. Ask him if he likes you. Try to know the reason for his weird behavior. Let me be honest here. Questions like this will startle him. Ask relevant questions, but do not scare him away.
    • You will have to depend on your judgment here. Try to find out what kind of approach will be suitable for him. This is a serious situation; you will have to handle it with care if you like this guy.
    • However, if you are not into him, shooting questions like this might drive him away. But it is conditional. Asking difficult questions like: “Why do you act weird when you are alone with me? Do you have feelings for me?” will scare people too shy to admit their feelings. On the contrary, he will continue to hover around you if he is confident about wooing you successfully.
  2. Tell him that you like him: Do not wait for him to confess his feelings, especially if he is shy. It might take him years to admit his affectionate feelings for you. If you like him, shed your inhibitions and tell him how you feel.
    • Being straightforward is essential if you want to be with this guy. Talk to him about your feelings. Tell him that you like him. Being shy won’t do you any good when asking people out for dates. Asking him out won’t put you on the backfoot, either.
    • It is pretty clear by now that he is a shy person. He will act weird when alone with you, but he will never talk about his feelings. He overthinks and loses time in the process. He likes you but is scared of saying that because he believes a lot is at stake. He is afraid to lose you. Waiting for him to confess his feelings will be a huge waste of time. A little nudge from you can make him shed all his inhibitions.
    • You will have to take the first step here. He is not comfortable to share his feelings. You will have to make him share it by sharing your feelings. When you admit that you like him, he will get a ray of hope to reciprocate. He is scared of rejection. Assure him that there will be none. Give this relationship a chance to exist. It might turn into something beautiful.
  3.  Try not to make him uncomfortable: He acts weird whenever you two are alone because he feels uncomfortable around you. Your natural response to this should refrain from making him more uncomfortable. Talk to him about this.
    • Now that you know he feels uncomfortable around you make it a priority not to make him feel that way. If he does not enjoy your company, call it quits and look for people who like you.
    • He could feel uncomfortable because of something you did with him (or in front of him) in the past. If you want to help him deal with this, assure him that nothing of that sort will happen again.
    • Take his feelings into consideration. Do not assume he is acting out just for attention (that might be true, but let’s not assume things immediately). Instead of looking for what is wrong with him, try to work on something that make you uncomfortable in his eyes.
    • If you do not know what (about you) makes him uncomfortable, have a conversation about that. Ask him why he feels so awkward and uncomfortable around you. Try to be friendly and polite when you do that. Do not scare him away with an overtly inquisitive tone. Try to find solutions to your problem instead of accusing him of acting differently.
  4. Ask if he has heard anything weird about you: If you think he has been acting differently based on a rumor about you, ask him directly about that. Ask if he has heard anything weird or demeaning about you. Rumors often have adverse effects on your reputation. He is probably judging you based on a bunch of lies.
    • Rumors can break down your entire personality. The guy we are discussing judges you based on rumors that have been allowed to run amok. Talk to him about that. Ask him what he has heard about you and from whom.
    • You can try reasoning with him. Ask him if he believes what he has heard about you. This is applicable only when he has known you for a while. You can use guilt to your advantage. Guilt him into thinking right. Make him question the unrealistic things he has heard about you.
    • You can try telling your side of the story if he is new in your life. He may or may not believe you, but you should try keeping him in your life with one last effort. It will be better to have proof to support your statement. Try to prove that the things he has heard about you are lies told to tarnish your reputation.
  5. Try to find a common ground for conversations: A good conversation can solve infinite relationship issues. If you feel weird when he acts differently when you are alone, try to find things to discuss. End the uncomfortable silence (that often induces strange behavior in people). Find common areas of interest. Find the perfect topic for a conversation that brings you two closer than ever.
    • He acts differently when you two are alone because he feels awkward around you. This happens mostly when people have nothing in common and not much to talk about. He feels trapped when alone with you and probably wants the time to pass quickly.
    • You can attempt to deal with this problem by looking for common grounds of interest. Finding something in common is difficult, but life gets easier once it is found. Having someone to talk to is necessary for humans. We are social animals. We tend to interact with our kind even in the weirdest situations.
    • Remember when Chandler got trapped inside an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre during a blackout in season one of F.R.I.E.N.D.S? They did not know each other. Things were uncomfortable and awkward in the beginning. But somehow, they managed to find ways to enjoy each other’s company.
    • Talk to him to learn about his favorite books and movies. Check if you share the same fandom. The shared love for a fandom can give you lots to talk about, and it can kick-start a conversation from the dead silence you two have been enduring.
    • Starting a conversation with discussions on popular culture often leads you to discussions on other aspects of life like childhood, work, and hobbies. Let your thoughts flow. Do not treat this like an experiment. Try to relax and indulge in good conversation (something hard to find these days).


A few things to remember:

  • It has been established that he acts differently when you two are alone. There must be some reason. Talk to his friends to learn more about him. His friends know him better than anyone else. They will probably be able to help you decode his weird behavior.
  • Chances are there that he likes you. That is why he behaves differently whenever you two can be in each other’s exclusive company. His affectionate feelings for you make him too jittery to function correctly, and he acts weird.
  • Check if he functions well with more people around him. To be sure about this, you need to observe his behavior in crowded places. The crowd should include you and people he knows.
  • He feels uncomfortable around you. Being near you in public is a significant problem for him. He does not want to be alone with you. Your presence makes him awkward. Take the cue and stop bothering him.
  • He may not be interested in you. That is why your presence makes him feel uncomfortable. It seems you are interested in him. In that case, you must value his opinion and leave him for good. You can’t make someone fall in love with you artificially.
  • Have meaningful conversations with him. Do not beat around the bush. Ask him if he likes you. Ask him what makes him act differently when he is alone with you. Maturely handle the matter. You can talk to him about your feelings (if you have any for him). Try to find topics for conversation in that case.
  • Try to check for rumors. Do this, especially when you met the guy just a few days ago. People who are new in your life are more likely to fall for rumors about you as they barely know you. Checking for rumors is also applicable when you have known the guy for a while. Believable rumors from reliable sources often change how a person thinks about you.
  • Have some patience and try to check if he has something to say to you. He acts differently whenever you two are alone with each other. He might be trying to say something. This happens often with shy people.
  • He has insecurities that often hold him back from getting along with people. He acts differently when you two are alone because of his unresolved mental health issues. You have nothing to do with this. You can only advise him to go for therapy (but do that only if you know him well).

About the Author

Nirajana Mukherjee

Nirajana Mukherjee has been helping people find out their relationship queries since 2019. At Relationshippp she loved to talk about topics related to Dating, Affairs, Attraction, and Breakups. Her work can be seen in RelationshipExplained - A Renowned Relationship Blog. Nirajana has a Masters in English literature from St. Xavier's University.
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