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Ex Slept With Me Then Ignored Me (Why & What to Do)

Feature Image of Ex Slept With Me Then Ignored MeYour ex was not over you and had been looking for an opportunity to sleep with you ever since. It inflates their ego when you sleep with them because it shows that they are not easy to get away with. Now that the purpose is served, they feel the ball is in their court and ignore you to play with your mind.

In this blog post, I'll help you to figure out why your ex is ignoring you after sleeping with you and what you should do about it.

Reasons why your ex slept with you

  1. They are not over you: It is possible that you and your ex broke up not because you were out of love for each other but because your circumstances demanded it.
    • If either of you had to change cities to pursue further studies or for work, and it was to be permanent, you might have decided it the best to split apart.
    • However, either the turn of events has been such, or it was a mere coincidence that you crossed paths again, and one thing led to another till you woke up next to each other.
    • While this might have left one of you hoping for more, it might have become a worrisome cause for the other. The others might have moved on in their life and might be seeing someone on a more serious note. 
    • Hence, even though they slept with you, they are not expecting it to mold into anything serious but a casual catching up. 
    • If you need clarity, you might ask them about it directly, but if your ex is ignoring you, take the hint and let the matter rest. It would otherwise become unnecessarily awkward for both of you since you didn’t get the terms clear before sleeping with them.
  1. It was out of pity: If you were all broken down since you broke up, and somehow you came across your ex, they might lend you their shoulders to comfort you.
    • Most unexpected s*x happens when you are either too high or too low. If you lent shoulders to your ex when they were too low, they might as well have taken refuge in your arms for the night.
    • With the breaking of the day, things change. The situations and circumstances might alter because making out with you was an emotion. They did it because they were comfortable doing it. 
    • When there is no room for awkwardness despite the distance and fleeting time, things escalate sooner than you think. At one moment, you are shaking hands. On the other, you are in each other’s arms.
  1. It boosts their confidence: You feed confidence to your ex by sleeping with them. They felt that they have a lasting charm over you.
    • Choosing to sleep with someone after a long time makes them feel good about themselves. Their ego is inflated as they take themselves to be mighty high.
    • Try to remember how they were in bed with you. If they allowed you to do whatever you liked, it was out of soft-heartedness with you. If they got aggressive and dominant, they were trying to thrust themselves upon you for self-affirmation.
  1. They were drunk: Your ex was drunk and decided to sleep with you than with anyone else because they trusted you were harmless.
    • A state of drunkness makes one perform all kinds of stunts. One such would be sleeping with your ex. They want to do it because it is a possibility and it will turn out to be fun.
    • Your ex trusts you even in a state of drunkenness. Let's hope that they were eager to sleep with you and that they don’t misinterpret the whole thing as you taking advantage of them.
    • However, if they feel the latter, it is better to clear things out soon. They might be having a hard time recalling the events. You can help them with prompts and briefings for a clear understanding.
  1. You showed up at their door: If you showed up at your ex’s door in an inebriated state and showed you in, they might have chosen to invite you to bed.
    • Your ex might be as lonely as you. They took you to bed because you charm them. They share a level of comfort with you that they haven’t shared with anyone else.
    • However, your ex isn’t someone who likes to take second chances. While sleeping along was a one-timer, they didn’t intend to take another chance and repeat the entire circle.
    • They either have trust issues, or you have broken their heart badly. If you sincerely want to go back with your ex, show up at their door with flowers or food, and see if they invite you in. 
    • Approaching as a friend rather than someone they had slept with might be rewarding in the long run.
  1. They are changing cities: Perhaps it was the last-moment decision to sleep with you before they board their flight. Perhaps they decided to change their cities because of you.
    • They are ignoring you because they feel too much for you. You don't want to invest in that person when there is a certainty that there is no future with certain someone. 
    • In such cases, you try to get rid of the person after bidding them a final farewell. If this final farewell includes sleeping with you in bed, you get lucky. However, in such cases, try to push your luck only a little, so much so that you run out of it.
  1. They were testing the water with you: Perhaps your ex was seeing if you still felt the warmth for them. If you still find them desirable, if they have a certain hold on you, they might have slept with you.
    • Testing the water is a common tactic used by ex-lovers for self-gratification. They will randomly text or call you to see if you recognize and acknowledge their voice at once or ignore it.
    • When you acknowledge their voice, and they play the “catch-up” card, and you heed it, they are certain to advance towards you. It all happens at the spur of the moment, and there is no getting back from there.
  1. They took revenge: Perhaps they were mad at you for a certain reason in the past. The coming back in your life was episodic. It was meant to make your life haywire.
    • An ex can make a comeback to make things topsy-turvy when they see you happy. This can happen more so if you are happily dating someone. Your ex will come to you as a blow, putting up a facade of wanting you, sleeping with you, and vanishing away the next day to keep you pondering and restless. 
    • When you have moved on from your ex, or if you have ever cheated on your ex and that had become the reason for the breakup, this might be a move to avenge the wrongs. 
    • It would be a grave error to allow them to invade your personal space, especially if you are romantically engaged with someone else. It would neither do you justice nor bring peace, as your ex might reveal or use this information to get back at you.
  1. They are confused: Your ex misses you, longs for your company, and decides to sleep with you. They know you would never say no to them if they led you to bed.
    • Such situations are tricky. Your ex might be scamming you into spending time with them, using your resources, getting laid, and so forth without establishing anything concrete in nature,
    • The primary reason behind such behavior is their underlying confusion. Even they don’t know what they want. This dilemma might arise from varied root causes. 
    • The best scheme here is to ask them to make a final call. It's either with you or without you forever from here on. Keep no room for playing mind games.
  1. Your breakup lacked closure: Your ex came back into your life because you had kept them in curiosity. If you broke up abruptly without closure, your ex might not be too happy.
    • We desire clarity, more so when we are obsessed with a certain someone. Your ex was hooked on you, but you made the call that “it wasn’t working” without explaining to them what about it wasn’t working. 
    • They would be pissed at you and have the unquenching thirst to discover the truth. 
    • Their return to your life might be for the same reason. Either they asked you directly in the process of making love, or perhaps the experience was such that they decided to call it off.
    • It is like shooting in the dark, but then you realize it is not worth it, and that is when you come to an abrupt halt.
  1. They thought it was mutually NSA: It is possible that your ex took it as a no-string-attached concession to sleep with each other despite the breakup and move on in life the next day as if nothing happened.
    • This is a consensus. People think that if they are sleeping with someone from their past, it is an insignificant momentary episode that is not supposed to lead them anywhere.
    • It is like leisure when you do things because you have the time and luxury for it. The indulgence with you in the bed was a luxury for your ex. They thought that you had a mutual understanding of it.
    • When you confront them to explain, they will tell you bluntly not to make a fuss about a past episode. 

What to do when your ex ignores you after sleeping with you?

  1. Confront them: The best thing to do to get the answers or the harsh truth revealed is to confront them. Don’t accept their silence. Rather than leaving voicemails or messages piled up in their inbox, show up at their palace.
    • While it might be an aggressive step, there is nothing wrong with it. Your ex is the one who took you to bed. The least you can expect from them is a reply. 
    • It doesn’t mean you will burst upon them; that will not do you any good. It shouldn’t come across as harassment but as an appeal for a better understanding.
    • Keep your voice low, don’t play the blame game, and state clearly and precisely your motive for being it anyway.
  1. Accept that you got played: There is no reason to push away the truth. The longer you do it, the more painful it will be. When you get played, you take the lesson home.
    • The lesson here is not to allow access to your ex in your life.
    • Even if you allow them, get to know what they have been up to.
    • Talk for a long period, and socialize outdoors before accepting the invitation to their place.
    • Ask them clearly if they are seeing someone. Check their social media posts, comments, and tags. 
    • If possible, go through their devices. Check their gallery, contact list, WhatsApp, and Snapchat to see if there are any recurring common names in any of these.
  1. Be wiser next time: The lesson to take home is to be wiser next time. There are certain moves, gestures, and pickup lines that are giveaways about if you are on the verge of being played.
    • The conversation would be elusive. They won’t give you concrete answers to resolve your queries. This is primarily because they are not interested in solving the queries.
    • They would keep giving you compliments and admiring you with their eyes. You would feel that you have always meant the world to them. Let them materialize this feeling and show through their action that they mean it.
    • Don’t buy lies. Try to understand the intention. They know their likes, dislikes, strength, and weakness. They know your likes, dislikes, strength, and weakness.
  1. Don’t go after them: Chasing your ex is futile. Earn self-dignity. Look at yourself in the mirror. Ask if any of it is worth it.
    • The gravest error is to value those who don’t deserve a penny of our attention. When a person is not worth it, why fidget yourself too much into giving them larger-than-life stances?
    • You deserve someone who is everything that this person is not. Make it the mantra of your dating life; it will help you to set a scale on how to judge a person and a potential life partner.
  1. Make yourself the priority: Self-affirmation is the key to peace. Expect nothing from no one. Have your own back, and trust your guts.
    • There are many ways to proceed towards self-affirmation, the necessity of “me-time” that most fail to realize.
    • Reading books, writing diaries, re-reading your favorite passages, and browsing the library is one such.
    • Going shopping alone and for oneself, pampering yourself with the best of accessories, having a cheat day, or brilliant cooking delicacies would be the other.
    • Taking a solo trip, trekking with a group of strangers, or visiting the outskirts helps refresh and unburden your mind.
    • Visiting and spending time with your family at your native place will flood back the best times.
    • Doing your nails, getting a new hairstyle, dying your hair, setting up new fitness goals, trying yoga and meditation, or enrolling yourself in a new sport would be other brilliant options to know and come to terms with yourself more.
    • Be your solace. Don’t let an episode from the past mess up with you. You are much more powerful than that.
  1. Move on (start dating seriously): A serious dating scenario could be the change you need. When you find “the one” for yourself, all your past blunders are forgiven, and the byproducts of those mistakes are easily overlooked.
    • We all yearn for a good partner to stick by us in our thick and thin. When you find such a companion, your heart is full. You feel blessed, and you are grateful for every breath.
    • You are not the leading character of Jane Austen’s novel. Stop romanticizing chances, and create the required atmosphere and setting for yourself. 
    • Enroll and be active on dating apps, socialize at clubs, and meet your friends' friends to expand your circle. You are bound to find someone worthy of you.
    • Don’t dream that the first person you stumble upon shall be the one. Besides, learn to cooperate and accept the fact that we are, after all, a bunch of imperfections. If you desire perfection, set up an example by being one yourself.


  • You broke up with your ex for certain reasons. Recall those reasons and vow to yourself never to let them be repeated.
  • Try to understand yourself. Why are you allowed access to your ex? What made you weak? If it was a state of intoxication, make it a rule not to drink with people you cannot trust.
  • Let bygones be bygones. You expect more than your ex is capable of delivering. Understand their limits and let the matter rest. Switch back to the general mode of living.
  • Rather than staying obsessed with your ex or thinking of stalking them, move on in your life. Find true love, and till the point, you do go for self-affirmation. Have your own back. Trust no one but yourself. Love yourself, and prioritize noting above peace and solace.

About the Author

Suprity Acharyya

Suprity is the editor-in-chief of Relationshippp and its parent site RelationshipExplained. She overlooks the end-to-end editorial publishing pipeline. She has a Bachelor's Degree in English and did her Master's in Social Welfare Management.
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