Why Won’t He Admit He is Seeing Someone? (EXACT REASONS)

This article will help you understand the reasons why he won’t admit that he is seeing someone else, along with ways to deal with the situation effectively and with minimum damage to your mental health.

Reasons why he won’t admit he is seeing someone

1. He wants to keep as many backup options as he can: For him, you are just a backup option. You know he is seeing someone else, but he would never admit that because he wants to keep you in his life.
   • You are probably not the only backup he has. He is lying to you about his relationship with another person. Similarly, he is doing the same with the other person about his relationship with you.
   • Everyone is a backup for him. He goes out with multiple people. He suffers from indecision when it comes to romantic relationships. Keeping so many backup options proves his indecisive nature.
   • He could be doing this in search of “the one.” He is looking for the perfect partner. He is in love with no one right now. He will fall in love when he finds the right person.
   • He could also be a brat who likes to play with people’s feelings. He sees his partners as conquests more than fellow human beings. He is in love with none of his many partners, and that includes you. You are probably a mere sexual prop (one of the many) in his life.

2. He doesn’t want to hurt your feelings: He won’t admit he is seeing someone else because he does not want to hurt your feelings. He is cheating on you but somehow still retains feelings for you.
   • Romantic feelings for someone do not go away easily in most relationships. However, some feelings were lost forever when he decided to see someone else (cheat on you).
   • What he has for you now are residual feelings. It mostly comes from the guilt of cheating on you. He knows what he is doing is wrong.
   • That is why he won’t admit that he is seeing someone else. Whatever feelings he has for you make him not want to hurt you emotionally. He avoids conversation on the topic to save you from immediate heartbreak.
   • He knows you will eventually have heartbreak. He is procrastinating for his own comfort. He does not want to face the uncomfortable situation that involves yelling and tears.

3. He doesn’t want the other person to know: He won’t admit that he is seeing someone else because he does not want the other person to know. He is trying to hide his partners from each other.
   • It will be a big problem for him if you get to know about his other relationship. He is cheating on you with someone else. He is doing the same to the other person by hiding you from them.
   • He thinks you will try to sabotage his other relationship by letting the other person know about your existence. He would never admit he is cheating on you until you present concrete evidence to prove it.
   • He is getting serious with the other person, and your meddling in that relationship might ruin it. He wants to keep the other person in darkness about your presence in his life.
   • He will probably break up with you soon, and to do that, he will cite far-fetched reasons. He will never admit that he is cheating. He will probably blame you for the degradation of the relationship. He might even accuse you of having trust issues.

4. He is going to break up with the other person: He loves you. He won’t admit that he is seeing someone else because he is going to break up with this “someone” soon.
   • He cheated on you and realized that you were the one. He wants to forget the shameful part of his life. He is going to resume being loyal to you.
   • He is going to break up with the other person soon. He wants things to go back to normal. To achieve that, he would never admit that he is seeing someone.
   • He wants you to stay oblivious to his secret. He will keep gaslighting you whenever you try to talk to him about his affair with the other person. He will behave as if there is nothing wrong with the relationship.
   • However, he probably loves you. That is why he does not want to lose you by letting you know about his infidelity. He wants to forget that part of his life and move on by getting back to you.

5. The other person wants him to keep it a secret: The person he is seeing behind your back wants him to keep the affair a secret. That is why he won’t admit that he is seeing someone.
   • The person he is having an affair with probably has a lot to hide. They are possibly hiding the affair from their partner. That is why you knowing about it would become a problem for them.
   • The person he is seeing is not very proud of being with him. It is more like friends with benefits scenario. They want to keep him as a secret they are ashamed of, and he is happy to go along with it.
   • If you get to know about their affair in detail, you might make a huge deal out of it (which is justified). A huge deal out of this matter will be harmful to their secret relationship. That is why he won’t admit to seeing someone behind your back.
   • They are afraid that you might spill their secret in front of people whom they have purposefully kept in the dark about their affair. He will keep gaslighting you until you break up with him.

6. He thinks you are a fool: He simply thinks you are a fool and that you will never find out anything about his secret affair. He is cheating on you, and along with that, he has the audacity to make you feel like a fool with his denial.
   • This is a textbook example of toxic behavior. He is trying to make you feel like a fool by lying to your face. He will stick to his lie as long as you act politely with him.
   • He thinks you are too dumb to find out anything about his secret affair. He plans never to admit the truth. He will keep you in the dark as long as it is possible for him.
   • He probably has an ulterior motive behind this kind of behavior. He is with you because of certain favors that come as a perk of dating you. These perks can range from wealth to career prospects.
   • He mistakes your love for foolishness and sleeps around with other people. He is using you for his selfish agenda. He would probably dump you once his purpose is fulfilled.
   • He won’t admit that he is seeing someone else behind your back because he thinks you are too foolish to find out his truth or catch him red-handed. He does not love you and definitely does not deserve to be your partner or even an acquaintance in your life.

7. They are friends with benefits: They are friends with benefits. There is not much of a relationship between them to talk about. They do not take the matter seriously.
   • He won’t admit he is seeing someone because he thinks it is nothing serious to talk about. His behavior can only be termed tone-deaf.
   • He is friends with benefits with the other person you are so worried about. Your thoughts are justified. It is he who does not understand the sanctity of a romantic relationship. Commitment means nothing to him.
   • He likes you, but that is clearly not enough for him. He would not have had that affair if he was really into you. He is neither in love with you nor is he in love with his friend with benefits.
   • What they have cannot be termed a relationship. He is trying to avoid telling you the truth on a technicality. He probably knows what he is doing is wrong.

8. He is not seeing anyone other than you: You are being a bit paranoid about your relationship. He is not seeing anyone behind your back. It is you who have trust issues.
   • You are in a relationship where your boyfriend loves and respects you. But do you respect him as well? You do not trust him. Trust runs a relationship. When you do not have that, your relationship loses meaning.
   • He won’t admit that he is seeing someone because he is not seeing someone behind your back. You have made this up with your wild imagination and a bit of circumstantial evidence that paints him in a shady light.
   • Your behavior can end this relationship. Trust issues are one of the most common causes of breakups. You are accusing him of something he has not done.
   • Your behavior can make him grow tired of this relationship. Then a time will come when he starts looking for emotional support from other people, and his relationship with you will soon be over once he finds that.

What to do when he doesn’t admit he is seeing someone?

1. Say that he can’t have you both: You need to raise your voice and say that he can’t have the best of both worlds. Tell him that he needs to choose his priority.
   • The fact that he fell for someone else proves that he was never truly in love with you. You do not need to have feelings for him anymore. You need to talk to him about what he has done.
   • Tell him that you know about his shenanigans and that he needs to choose between you and the other person. Tell him he can’t date you both, as that sounds absurd.
   • You can tell him that you are not comfortable being in a relationship that involves more than two people. You can’t share him with another person. Tell him that you are ready to move out of his life.
   • Tell him that he is free to leave, but he can’t come back when he gets bored in his other relationship. You can establish a no-contact situation if you want.

2. Try to be sure about it: You can’t rule out the possibility of being wrong about the situation. He is probably not seeing anyone else behind your back. It is you who is being the problem by acting paranoid.
   • Trust is a big yet simple word that forms the base for a relationship. It is often difficult to trust people when one has a past full of betrayal and heartbreaks. But that can’t be an excuse to treat a perfectly fine partner in a horrible way.
   • You are accusing him of something he has not done. Cheating is a serious offense when it comes to relationships. You are putting an allegation on a person who has probably never cheated on you. You need to be doubly sure while doing that.
   • You can establish your arguments based on circumstantial evidence. It will look like the F.R.I.E.N.D.S episode where Rachel and Phoebe accused Chandler of cheating on Monica when they saw him getting into a car with their real estate agent to see a house.
   • You need to be absolutely sure about what you are saying. You can’t put the blame on him without concrete evidence. Your lack of trust in him is harmful to this relationship.

3. Ask him why he is doing this: You can directly ask him why he is doing this. Stop beating around the bush and address your problem.
   • He won’t admit that he is seeing someone else behind your back. He will never spill his secret on his own. He needs a push, and that push needs to come from you in the form of a direct question.
   • You can ask him, “Why are you lying to me?” Be firm when you ask this question to show that you have concrete evidence to accuse him of cheating on you.
   • You can say, “I know you are seeing someone else behind my back. I need you to tell me the truth.” You can even ask him, “How long is this going on?” He will struggle to give answers to these questions, and that will be your cue to come up with whatever evidence you have collected that proves his infidelity.

4. Threaten to leave: You can threaten to leave him. This is particularly applicable when you want to keep him in your life.
   • You believe in second chances, and that is probably why you want to keep him in your life even after he has cheated on you and lied about it to your face. You can threaten to leave him and see how he reacts to that.
   • A chance is there that he will never look back. He might actually leave you and get into a full-fledged relationship with the other person. You will just have to take the chances.
   • However, your threat can also bring him back to you. That could happen if he still has feelings for you. This might be a new beginning for you guys.
   • Try not to have high hopes for the success of this process. There is a major chance of encountering failure when you try to play this reverse psychology technique.

5. Ask him to stop gaslighting: He has done something wrong, and now that you know about it, he is trying to gaslight you by saying he was never seeing another person behind your back. You need to ask him to stop gaslighting you.
   • Whatever he did was wrong. It was wrong for him to sleep with someone else while he was dating you.  He needs to face the consequences.
   • He is the classic example of a toxic partner. He did something wrong and wants you to believe that he did nothing.
   • He probably knows that you know he is seeing someone else. He wants to make you feel miserable and foolish by repeatedly saying that he did nothing. Tell him that his little trick won’t work anymore.
   • Tell him that you are not waiting for him to admit what he did now that you know everything about his illicit affair. You can also say that his gaslighting won’t work on you anymore.
   • Be stern and ask him to stop gaslighting and lying to your face. Yell at him if you want (he deserves that). He thinks he will get away with his shenanigans. Prove him wrong.

6. Check for little mistakes that might rat him out: You need to look for mistakes that might help you catch him red-handed. He won’t admit that he is seeing someone else. You will have to make him admit his ugly truth.
   • Put on your detective hat and check for little details that might prove his infidelity. He is seeing someone else behind your back. You have enough proof to believe that. However, your beliefs mean nothing until you get concrete evidence against him.
   • You can check his phone when he is not around. Checking someone’s phone is not advisable, but desperate times call for desperate measures. You need to teach him a lesson for what he did. This is the easiest way to do that. A person’s phone is an extremely personal thing. It holds most of their deep dark secrets.
   • You can ask his friends about his life outside his relationship with you. Ask them where he goes when he is not with you and not hanging out with them. It will be better if you ask your common friends. They will have unbiased answers to your question.
   • You can also try following him. This is a bit creepy, but you need to do this at least once to collect the necessary information to establish your argument when you confront him about his infidelity.

7. Break up with him: It is advisable to leave him for good. He chose to sleep with another person behind your back. He clearly does not have any regard for your feelings and emotions.
   • Moreover, he lied to you about it and tried to gaslight you when you clearly knew his truth. It is better not to stay with someone like him. You need to get out of this relationship.
   • This relationship has grown toxic. He is bored of your presence in his life. There is nothing to root for in this relationship. The fact that he is seeing someone else behind your back proves that there is no love left between you two.
   • Breaking up will be the best decision in this scenario. You can’t possibly stay in a stale relationship with no love to feel good about. Toxic relationships often mess with our mental health and leave us with a hefty bill to pay at the therapist’s office. You can avoid all that simply by breaking up with him.

Tips

A few things to remember:

• Do not try to bring him back. He will cheat on you again. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
• He needs backup when it comes to relationships. You are just another spare tire for him.
• Confront him about the matter and be stern when you do that. He will probably try to gaslight you. You need to gain immunity against it.
• He probably wants to guard you against heartbreak. He knows what he has done. He regrets that he wants to be a part of your life again. That is why he is not admitting that he was seeing someone else.
• You could threaten to leave him. My advice would be actually to break up with him. Here are a few ways to break up without hassle.
• Find out ways to catch him in the act. Get your common friends involved in this. Let people know what he has done. Try to bring people to your side. Try to gain their sympathy.
• Always be sure about what you are doing. You are accusing him of cheating on you. You need to have concrete proof for this kind of accusation. Do not do or say something that you might regret later.