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We Have Very Little Communication Between Dates - Is It Normal?

Feature Image of We Have Very Little Communication Between DatesIt isn’t. Very little communication between dates can be a sign of a lack of interest from both sides. An interesting date is supposed to spur conversation. Long calls and hours of text messaging are quite normal after an interesting date. You probably need to think twice about this relationship.

In this article, we will deal with a communication issue that can occur in relationships. Very little conversation between dates is a matter of concern. This article will help you with reasons and ways to deal with the situation. Read on.

Reasons for very little communication between dates

  1. None of you are into each other: Very little communication between dates means you guys are not into each other. The two of you don’t have the urge to engage in conversation.
    • An interesting date night would make you contact each other again for a second one. A successful second date would make you speak to each other even more until you meet in person the next time. That’s how one builds a romantic relationship.
    • Communication can take place in the form of calls and texts. It is understandable that people are busy these days in a fast-moving world.
    • If you truly like someone, you will feel the urge to contact them even if you are the busiest person on earth. If calling is not an option for you, you can always go for a quick text. The lack of even a little communication between dates could be a sign of a lack of interest in the potential relationship.
  1. They want something casual: Very little communication between dates could mean they are not interested in a serious relationship. They want something casual.
    • You are here with questions, and that means you are concerned about the future of this relationship (or potential relationship).
    • Communication can happen from one side. At least two people a needed to communicate successfully.
    • The person you are dating hardly ever calls or texts you between dates because they are not interested in a serious relationship. They want to have a casual fling with you before they move on to someone else.
    • They want a brief relationship with no strings attached. It is mostly physical for them. They will probably ghost you if you try to express your feelings. They feel nothing for you other than pure lust (spotted with a few occasional but meaningless conversations).
  1. They find you boring: You guys hardly ever communicate between dates because they find you boring. Again, you are the concerned one here.
    • You go on dates, but they never contact you until a few days before the next date because they find you excruciatingly boring.
    • They started dating you probably because you are physically attractive. You have the perfect face and the perfect body that fits the impossible but socially accepted beauty standards.
    • They are dating you because they want to look good. You, with your attractive features, make them look good.
    • Nothing other than this interests them. The rest of you are not their type. You don’t get their jokes, and they don’t get yours. Your dates are mostly silent because they find you too boring to talk to.
  1. You guys don’t have anything to talk about: This one comes close to the previous point. You guys hardly ever communicate between dates because you have nothing to talk about.
    • You guys don’t have similar interests. You are poles apart, yet, for some unknown reason, you are together.
    • You have nothing to talk about. Your conversation with them ended on the very first day. It was probably a brief conversation about the things you guys like and what made you like each other.
    • That’s it. That’s where it stops. You don’t watch similar content. One of you is a bookworm. The other doesn’t even have books at their place. You guys don’t even listen to the same genre of music.
    • Your interests are distinctly different. A careful introspection would probably make you walk out of this relationship or the shadow of a relationship that you have with them.
  1. They are trying to get rid of you: You guys barely communicate between dates, and that’s because they are trying to get rid of you or vice-versa.
    • The person you are dating is trying to get rid of you. They can’t say that to your face, but they are no longer interested in you.
    • They are slowly trying to make you grow tired of the lack of conversation between you two until the communication stops entirely. That way, they could also be the good guy.
    • They want to dump you right at this moment, but they are too polite to do that. Therefore, they have chosen this clever and stealthy way to get rid of you.
    • They are probably seeing someone else behind your back. Getting rid of you and the boring dates is even more important to them now.
  1. They are interested in someone else: The lack of communication between dates stems from the fact that they are interested in someone else. They are not into you anymore and would probably start ghosting you after a while.
    • They have started to like someone else. You are no longer the one for them. The person you are dating is a fickle-minded person who changes partners every other day.
    • The lack of interest in dating you has resulted in very little communication between dates. Soon there will be no dates to look forward to.
    • They will probably talk to you about this, so brace yourself up for heartbreak. They might even start ghosting you if they don’t have the courage to tell you the truth.
    • The barely-existent communication points towards the fact that the person you are dating is trying to avoid the awkwardness of a difficult situation. They should not be doing this, but life is hardly fair.
  1. They like talking to you in person: You guys have very little communication between dates because they like talking to you in person. Your presence matters to them more than a few calls and texts.
    • They are old school. The guy you are dating thinks calls and texts are overrated. They won’t call or text you much because they think there is more beauty in meeting you in person.
    • The idea seems romantic. It looks good in rom-coms and Jane Austen novels. The twenty-first-century real life is different. Calls and texts are important for any relationship to survive.
    • Earlier, the idea of meeting someone in person and sending handwritten letters used to work because there was no other way to communicate. Now that we have a plethora of ways to contact the person we are dating, our expectations have risen.
    • We want our date to send cute texts and call us late at night to say sweet nothings. The disappointment comes when that fails to happen.
    • The person you are dating likes a life that is a bit less digitally controlled. What they fail to understand is that you are probably the wrong person to pursue.
    • You guys want different things in life, and honestly, both of you deserve to be happy in your spaces. Unfortunately, you guys will never be happy if you decide to stay in a relationship. It is sad that your happiness is in staying away from each other.
  1. None of you have time for each other: The lack of communication between dates exists because you guys don’t have time for each other. You are too busy to date each other.
    • It is okay to be busy, but that doesn’t mean you will find excuses for the lack of communication. The person you are dating is perfect for you in this sense. They do not have time to talk either.
    • The only virtual conversation takes place between you two while planning the next date. Until then, there is radio silence.
    • This might seem nice at the beginning. You guys might think you are perfect for each other. However, the blissfully busy phase will only last a short while before you realize the dysfunctionality of the relationship you are in.
    • Communication is necessary for relationships, especially at the beginning. It helps you know your partner better. It builds the foundation of the relationship. Without all that, it will only feel like an empty space that desperately needs some activity.

What to do (or not to do) when you guys have very little communication between dates?

  1. Don’t pester them to talk to you: You guys have very little communication between dates, and that is not normal. Don’t pester them to talk to you if they don’t want to.
    • Pestering them to talk to you will worsen things. They don’t want communication for a reason. You can either agree or disagree with it.
    • You can’t make them do things you want. Both of you are adults with free will to do whatever you please.
    • If you are not into this no-communication thing, you can always step out of the relationship. That’s better than trying to persuade someone to do something they don’t want to do.
  1. Get rid of them before they do so: Dating them probably was a mistake. Get rid of this relationship before they do to save your pride.
    • Dump them before they dump you. Their behavior doesn’t show affection. A romantic relationship can go nowhere without even a little affection.
    • They are probably going to dump you soon. Stay one step ahead and do it before they end up breaking up with you.
    • Don’t take their calls the next time they try to call you to plan the next date. Ghost them until they realize you are not interested in a dead-end relationship.
    • Don’t even reply to their texts. You can block them as well. That will drive them out of your mind soon.
  1. Ask if they are interested in someone else: You can ask him if they are interested in someone else. Do it based on their behavior.
    • Lack of communication can stem from many reasons. One of them can be a lack of interest in you because they are interested in someone else.
    • Ask if they like another person or are dating multiple people at the same time. Chances are there that they will never tell you the truth. You will have to find it out on their own.
    • You can observe the way they talk. Look for incoherency in their answers. They will make a mistake with all the numerous lies, and that will be your clue.
  1. Make more time for each other: If you want this relationship to work out, you guys need to spend more time together. No communication will only complicate matters.
    • You guys need to make more time for each other. No contact between dates is a matter of concern if you want something serious.
    • Talk to them about this and try to know what they want. If they want a casual relationship, you can step out, saying you want it to be a bit more serious than a fling.
    • If they are serious about the relationship, you can have a conversation about taking it to the next level or getting it official. Tell them how important communication is for a serious relationship.
    • If interested, you guys can even go for short trips over weekends to know each other better. You can opt for the nearest hiking trail or the quaint little bed and breakfast. Do something that both of you will enjoy.
  1. Try to meet more often: Meeting more often can attempt to solve your problem in a way. You guys don’t have much time to text or call each other. You can meet them on a more regular basis.
    • If you don’t have time for virtual communication, you guys can meet each other while returning from work. That way, your valuable time will be saved, and the relationship will move on to the next level.
    • You can also plan your dates more often. Go for two to three dates a week. You don’t need to choose expensive restaurants every time you go out. Try to go to a local diner or the old Chinese place around the corner.
    • Try to talk as much as you during these humble dates. Local places like these are often comfortable. You guys don’t need to pretend as you do in expensive restaurants. You can talk your heart out over a burger with a side of fries and a large order of coke.
    • Enjoy the time you spend with each other. The happiness of meeting each other should be spontaneous and not a forced one. Make memories instead of clicking a thousand pictures and along with that, enjoy the food.
    • It doesn’t always have to be an eatery. You can visit a museum or an exhibition you like. Things like this often help you open up your mind to more possibilities.
    • Go for an evening walk at the nearest park. You guys can even plan a picnic with home-cooked meals and a box of scrabble. It can be a potluck dinner for two.
  1. Think about what you want: Introspection is necessary. Think about what you want from this relationship. Your wishes might not match the wishes of the person you are dating.
    • Now, this is important because the future of this relationship stands on what you want. Think about it in detail. While doing that, don’t forget to consider what they want out of this relationship.
    • They are dating you for a reason, and that is attraction. The attraction can be physical or intellectual, but it is something that draws them closer to you.
    • However, a relationship does not always depend on affection alone. It needs the people involved to have the intention of being together.
    • Lack of communication is not a good sign relationship-wise, but it does not mean hopelessness either. You just need to find a middle ground where both can be happy.
    • If you want to be with someone exactly like you, then, unfortunately, this kind of relationship with very little communication will leave you unhappy. Think about it carefully and get out of it when there is time.
  1. Try to find common areas of interest: Look for things you both like. Try to find out common areas of interest. It could be something you guys can talk about.
    • Common areas of interest are the easiest to find, but sometimes they are rare. Communications become difficult when common areas of interest are rare. This might be the problem with you guys.
    • Try to find out shared areas of interest. Talk about it at the next date. This will help you start conversations.
    • Check if you like the same genre of movies and TV shows. Discuss them if your favorites match. You will probably have a lot to talk about, and suddenly this relationship will not be boring anymore.
    • If you are into books, check if they like books too. Love for similar genres will promote a healthy and intellectually powered discussion.
    • If you guys are into traveling, you can talk about it too. You guys might find a great travel partner in each other. Who knows, that might be the bond you were looking for.
  1. Ask if they find you boring: Don’t shy away from asking difficult questions. Ask them if they find you boring. Your future with this person depends on the answer.
    • You guys have very little communication between dates. That is probably because they find you excruciatingly boring.
    • Ask if they find you boring. You will get a hint about their feelings with a bit of observation but do this to be sure.
    • You can’t possibly stay with a person who finds you boring. It will be damaging to your self-respect.
    • They should be dating you just because you are attractive. Finding you boring and staying with you means they just want physical pleasure from you and this relationship. They will never acquire affectionate feelings for you.
    • You deserve better. Once you learn about their true intent, you can dump them and start looking for a person more suited to your personality.


A few things to remember:

  • Very little or no communication between dates is not a good sign. It might point toward the dysfunctionality of the relationship.
  • You might not have a future with the guy you are dating now. It is a dead-end relationship.
  • They probably have no feelings for you. They are with you because of lust. Physical attraction brought you guys closer to each other.
  • Try to find someone who is more like you and does not consider you boring. The person you are dating right now finds you boring and will probably leave you when they find someone better.
  • The person you are dating might be dating five other people behind your back. That is why they have no time for communication.
  • Try to find happiness in little things. Go for local experiences rather than expensive dates.

About the Author

Nirajana Mukherjee

Nirajana Mukherjee has been helping people find out their relationship queries since 2019. At Relationshippp she loved to talk about topics related to Dating, Affairs, Attraction, and Breakups. Her work can be seen in RelationshipExplained - A Renowned Relationship Blog. Nirajana has a Masters in English literature from St. Xavier's University.
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