My Boyfriend Doesn’t Do the Little Things Anymore (Reasons with Solution)

In this article, I will help you get to the root of this topic by discussing why your boyfriend doesn’t do the little things anymore. I will also talk about a few ways to deal with the situation. Read on.

Reasons why your boyfriend doesn’t do the little things

1. He has taken you for granted: Your boyfriend has taken you for granted. He thinks you won’t ever get bored of his monotonous presence in your life.
   • In a relationship, doing little things for the partner keeps things relevant. It shows how much a person cares.
   • He would not do the little things for you because he has taken you for granted. He doesn’t want to pay attention to your needs anymore.
   • He thinks you don’t want him to do romantic things for you anymore. Such thought comes from a sense of lazy convenience.
   • He doesn’t believe that his unhappening presence in your life can turn monotonous. The idea that you might suffer from boredom doesn’t cross his mind.
   • However, all this doesn’t mean he is not into you anymore. He likes you but is unwilling to work hard enough to maintain this relationship.

2. He has turned lazy: Your boyfriend has grown lazy. He is too lazy to try. He wasn’t like this before, but now that you guys are in a serious relationship, he has stopped doing the little things to make you feel special.
   • There was a time when he used to do romantic little things for you. The times have changed, and now he does nothing to make you feel special.
   • He has grown lazy over time. Now that you guys are in a serious relationship, he has acquired a sense of accomplishment. He doesn’t feel the urge to impress you with romantic gestures.
   • Laziness can consume a person when they have been in a relationship for a long time. He has turned lazy because he has exhausted his store of new ideas to make you feel special.
   • Laziness can also be a problem when he deliberately ignores your needs to satisfy the needs of his lazy self. He values long periods of leisure over this relationship with you.
   • He might still be in love with you, but his lazy nature is stopping him from making new moves to keep the romantic flare alive in this relationship.

3. He thinks he has won you over: Your boyfriend thinks he no longer needs to make an effort because he has won you over. He won’t do the little things without a strong nudge.
   • He worked hard to make you fall for him. He used to do little things to make you feel special.
   • He has stopped doing what he used to do before because he thinks he has “won you over.”
   • Making romantic gestures is not an inherent thing for him. It was a lot of effort on his part, and now that he is in a relationship with you, he is unwilling to go through the same ordeal repeatedly.
   • He probably won’t do little things for you unless you give him a noticeable nudge. He won’t step up until something threatens this relationship.

4. He has stopped trying: He won’t do the little things for you anymore because he has stopped trying. He has his reasons for such behavior. However, it is also true that it hurts you.
   • He has stopped trying, probably because he no longer feels the need to put more effort into the relationship. For him, this relationship has reached the level of saturation.
   • As we have discussed before, he is too lazy to try. He used to cook for you at the beginning of this relationship. He no longer does that because, according to him, there is no point in doing it anymore as the job of wooing you is done.
   • He doesn’t seem to care about the relationship anymore. He used to bring you your favorite flowers whenever the flower vendor had them in stock. The vase these days stay empty because he has stopped trying. He doesn’t have the urge to do little things to make you happy.

5. He is seeing someone else behind your back: He might stop doing the little romantic things he did for you if he is seeing someone else behind your back. He is probably going to dump you.
   • He would never do the little things to make you feel special if he is cheating on you. That is probably the last thing to cross his mind now.
   • Half of all his effort goes into finding new ways to hide the affair from you. The other half goes into hiding you from the other person he is dating. He wants to keep both of you in his life simultaneously.
   • This juggling between two lives overwhelms him, and he ends up with no time to make romantic gestures. He only does the bare minimum.
   • There is also the possibility of him losing all interest in you for the other person. He wants to establish a relationship with them but breaking up with you is extra pressure on his already messed-up life.
   • He wants to break up with you for this other person. His way of doing it seems clever. He plans to wear you down with reluctant behavior until you step up to end the relationship. This way, he won’t come off as the bad guy.

6. He never received appreciation or reciprocation from you: He has stopped doing the little things because he never received your appreciation or reciprocation.
   • He did the little things, but you never showed appreciation. Every act of affection needs recognition to persist. He stopped doing the little things for you due to the lack of recognition.
   • He makes romantic gestures for you and wants it to be seen. A few words of appreciation can go a long way in this case.
   • You are here because you like the little things he did for you. There is no harm in telling him that you love his gestures. That would inspire him to do more.
   • He stopped doing the little things because of the sheer lack of reciprocation. He offers you what you love but gets nothing in return.
   • The concept of unconditional love looks nice in books and movies. Real life is different. A relationship doesn’t grow without effort from both partners.
   • He expects you to reciprocate by making romantic gestures for him. He wants you to make plans once in a while. He wants to sit back and enjoy a day planned by you. He wants you to show affection.

7. He is depressed: He is depressed. He is preoccupied with his mental health issue. Doing little things for you to make you feel good is probably the last thing on his mind now.
   • Depression can change people in unimaginable ways. He won’t do the little things for you because he is depressed.
   • Your momentary happiness is not what he thinks about. He is too busy to deal with his mental health issues.
   • If he recognizes his problem, it will be easier for him to focus on the remedial measures. It will take a bit of time, but he might be able to bounce back to his former self with a little bit of professional help.
   • The problem intensifies when he is unable to recognize the problem. Your incessant pestering about the importance of romantic gestures might anger him to the extent of never doing the little things for you again in life.

8. The relationship has lost its spark: The relationship last lost its old spark. Something brought you together. That binding force has weakened now. That is why he no longer does the little romantic things he used to do for you initially.
   • The beginning of a relationship (in most cases) is full of dates, surprises, first kisses, and a lot of making out. It’s full of excitement and butterflies in the stomach.
   • Do you remember the first time you held your hand? The moment your hands touched, you felt a spark that stayed for a long time at the beginning of your relationship. You felt that every time he kissed you or simply brought your favorite flowers and cooked dinner for you.
   • You don’t feel like that now because the spark we are discussing is absent in the relationship. I can be revived with a little effort.
   • He won’t do the little things for you because of that lost spark. He doesn’t feel the urge to make romantic gestures anymore.
   • However, that doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship has lost meaning. Sometimes people grow too familiar with each other to make that extra effort. They often think the other person will not be offended by their laziness.

9. You guys have been in this relationship for a long time now: He has stopped doing the little things because you have been with him in this relationship for a long time now.
   • Being in a relationship for a long time brings people too close to each other. They become too familiar to make extra efforts to impress each other. This is probably the problem in your case.
   • You guys have been in this relationship for a long time now. Everything is going fine, except that he has stopped doing the little things for you.
   • Have you ever made similar gestures of affection for him? If not, I don’t think you are in a place to ask the same from him.
   • He is too comfortable around you to walk that extra mile to impress you. You have seen each other in the worst possible scenarios.
   • He finds happiness in the monotonous life you have together. The definition of “little things” is different for him. He wants to watch the F.R.I.E.N.D.S for the hundredth time with you.

10. You were rude to him: He won't do the little things anymore because you were rude to him. Your behavior hurt him.
    • You were rude to him, and your behavior or words hurt him. He won’t do the little things because he is upset.
    • His anger is valid if you were rude to him unnecessarily. He wants you to come up with an apology. Until then, he would not make romantic gestures to make you feel special.
    • However, if you were rude to him for a valid reason, he needs to understand that and work on the issue that made you mad in the first place. Throwing tantrums or ceasing to participate in the relationship might make things worse for him.

What to do when he stops doing the little things for you?

1. Try to find out what’s wrong with him: He must be doing this for a reason. Try to find out what went wrong.
   • There must be something wrong with him. Try to find out what it is.
   • We have discussed various reasons for his behavior in the section above. But you will have to dig deeper into his mind to get to the specific cause.
   • If he is a quiet person, try to make him talk. He should be able to talk about his issues.

2. Take him to a therapist if he is depressed: You can help him when he is too depressed to function. However, you can take him to a therapist for counseling.
   • Depression is detrimental. It affects a person’s mind in adverse ways and eventually brings in physical ailments.
   • If you find him depressed, take him to a therapist. You will probably not be able to help this person on your own.
   • He needs professional help. A therapist will help him deal with depression.
   • In this situation, your romantic needs should not be a priority. Don’t impose your wishes on him right now. Wait for a few days for him to get better.
   • Try to stay with him when he needs you the most. He will probably do the same for you when you go through a rough patch.

3. Try to cope with the fact that you guys are an old couple: You guys are an old couple. You have been in this relationship with him for too long now. Doing little things has stopped making sense.
   • You guys have been together for too long now. You are in a serious relationship that’s only getting old.
   • Little things happen mostly at the beginning of a relationship. It’s not that it never happens in old relationships, but it is unlikely.
   • You will have to cope with the fact that you are in an old relationship. The elements of excitement and surprise are lesser than the newer ones.
   • However, there is nothing to disappointed about. Every stage of a relationship has its own charm. Try to accept it with an open mind, and you will be able to see the bright side.

4. Try to appreciate the little things: Appreciate when he does the little things for you. He is making romantic gestures, and that needs reciprocation.
   • He wants appreciation for the affection he shows. He needs you to praise what he did to make you feel special.
   • You can do it by saying how good it made you feel. Tell him what he means to you. That could be your way of showing affection.
   • He does the little things to make you happy, to see you smile. He is not asking for much. Give him what he wants unless you are too upset to react. A little smile never hurts.

5. Reciprocate in your own way: Reciprocate the little things he does out of affection in your own way. Do something nice and romantic for him, too, for a change.
   • Reciprocation could be the key here. He stopped doing the little things due to your sheer lack of reciprocation.
   • Try to make romantic gestures to make him feel special. Here are a few things you can do:
     • Set the air conditioner to the temperature he prefers.
     • You can also plan a date to your favorite restaurant or a weekend trip to the nearest beach.
     • Spend some time with him to show that you love him and that he is not alone in this.
     • Make him a cup of indulgent coffee with sugar and all.
     • Watch a football match with him, even if you are not much into sports.
     • Cover him up with a fuzzy blanket when he falls asleep on the couch.
     • Give him a handmade gift.

6. Try to confront him if you think he has taken you for granted: Confront him about not doing the little things for you. Tell him what you want from the relationship.
   • Confront him if he seems to have taken you for granted. He thinks you will never get bored of this relationship. Tell him how wrong he is.
   • A relationship needs a lot of effort to survive. Both partners should be equally invested in the relationship.
   • Doing little things and making romantic gestures for a partner is what a romantic relationship thrives on. It cannot go on with monotony.
   • Tell him that you are getting restless with each passing day. The static nature of the relationship makes you have second thoughts.

7. Try to revive the lost spark in your relationship: Try to revive the lost spark in your relationship. Think out of the box for this. Do something unique to bring back the lost flare.
   • He won’t do the little things anymore because the relationship has lost its flare. Try to bring back the spark in your relationship.
   • Spice things up in the bedroom by trying role play. Experiment with new ideas and see how it goes.
   • You guys can cook together. Try cooking an exotic platter. Go out of your comfort zone and make something new and delicious.
   • Think out of the box to bring the old spark back into your relationship. Your relationship needs something unique.

8. Spend more time with him: He won’t do the little things because he is upset that you guys don’t get to spend much time together. Try spending more time with him. Spending time with him might bring in the change of heart you are looking for. Here are a few ways to do that:
   • You can visit the lesser-known places on the planet with him. That would be expensive, but with a smart plan to save money, you can accomplish that.
   • Do something you both enjoy and make Instagram reels or Tiktok videos. You can try painting or dancing together. You guys can even make travel vlogs.
   • You can visit new restaurants and cafes in your city. Try out strange food together. Try to make great memories.

9. Stop doing thoughtful things for him: He doesn’t do the little things to make you feel good. Don’t do romantic things for him, either. That will send him a message.
   • He likes the little things you do for him. But things can’t be one-sided. You rightfully need reciprocation. Otherwise, the relationship stops being relevant.
   • Stop doing the little things you did for him. You have no obligation to keep doing something he won’t even try.
   • Your sudden quietness will make him think. He needs to see where he went wrong. If he is really into you, he will try to rectify himself for good.

10. Break up with him if it is not working out: The relationship is probably not working out. Break up with him if this is the case.
    • There is no reason to stay in a dead-end relationship. You need to think twice about the situation and act accordingly.
    • He doesn’t do the little things for you. You might have your answer if you find out the reason to be anything other than serious personal issues.
    • You deserve to be with someone who cares for you and does things to make you feel happy. You are worthy of love and affection.

Tips

Here are a few things to think about:

• He is probably trying to break up with you by taking away the aspects you liked about this relationship. He probably has another affair to tend to.
• Do you do the little things for him? If not, do you think it is wise to ask for the same from him?
• Terminate the relationship if things aren’t working out for you guys. There is no point in dragging it around like a burden.
• Try to think differently when you reciprocate. Do something that will surprise him (in a good way).