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He Doesn’t Ask Me Questions in Texts (What Does It Mean?)

Feature Image of He Doesn’t Ask Me Questions in Texts He doesn’t ask you questions in texts, probably because he already knows a great deal about you. He knows you inside out. It could also be true that he does not like texting much. He wants to ask you questions in person. There is nothing wrong with him. Don’t worry.

This article will help you to understand him a little better. He won’t ask you questions in texts. I will help you with some possible reasons and solutions. Read on.

Why doesn’t he ask you questions in texts?

  1. He already knows a lot about you: He doesn’t ask you questions while texting because he already knows a lot about you. He doesn’t feel the need to know more.
    • He would have if he was not familiar with who you are. But he already knows too much about you.
    • This can happen when you guys are in a relationship for a long time. The knowing each other part often gets over at the beginning of every relationship. That’s what happened with yours.
    • Expecting him to keep asking questions about you while texting is absurd. He can’t ask questions about some he knows well.
    • Texting, in your relationship, has turned into a need-based exchange of words. That’s how it should be. All the phases in a relationship are beautiful. So is this one.
    • He doesn’t ask you questions while texting, but he never forgets to remind you about taking your medicine. He would even wake you up with a call if you ask him to do so.
  1. He doesn’t like texting: He wouldn’t ask you questions on texts because he doesn’t like texting. He would have stopped texting if it was possible.
    • He is an old-school person. He doesn’t buy into the idea of texting. Asking you questions in texts is something he wouldn’t do willingly.
    • He wants to ask you the same questions in person. He loves meeting you more than typing texts. While talking to someone, he needs a face.
    • He can even settle for calls, but that’s the extent. Using an electronic device to connect to a person is not his thing.
  1. He is not interested in you: The sheer lack of questions in texts signifies that he is not interested in you. He doesn’t find you worthy of his questions.
    • He wouldn’t ask you questions in texts because you are no longer interesting to him. Texting you is tedious enough.
    • His lack of interest in you brings the least number of questions about you to his mind. You are not a mystery to him. He is with you just because he has not found a better person to date.
    • However, he could also lose interest in you if you keep nagging him with questions asking why he won’t ask you questions in texts. Your questions have made you uninteresting in his eyes.
  1. He is a good observer: The guy is a good observer. He doesn’t need to ask you questions while texting because he learns a lot just by observing you.
    • He is probably an introvert. Introverts often have their own little world where they have unique ways of dealing with their life. He has questions about you, but he can’t ask because his personality won’t allow him to do so.
    • He observes instead. He thinks that is a better way to know you. Asking random questions is a sheer waste of time for him. He has better things to do.
    • The questions you want him to ask while texting is supposed to be personal. He is not much into asking personal questions to people. You are supposed to be close to him, but he still maintains a certain emotional distance. This is his problem. It’s not about you.
    • He doesn’t feel comfortable asking questions. He is scared of how you would react to them. He could be scared of asking inappropriate questions. Observation, therefore, is a more effective way for him to know you better.
  1. He is upset: He is too upset to ask you questions on texts. You should be glad that he is still texting you on a regular basis. Not asking questions in texts doesn’t always mean he is not interested in you.
    • He likes you, but people sometimes have bad days. He won’t ask you questions on texts clearly because he is upset.
    • He needs some time to get his head together. His life is all over the place now. He is too emotional to engage in conversations with people.
    • He is still texting you. That’s a good sign. You should not expect more from him now because he is upset and scared that his emotional state might make him say something that he would regret later.
    • He is pulling himself back from asking inappropriate questions that might ignite a fight between you two. In this gloomy emotional state, this is probably the last thing he wants.
  1. You don’t ask him questions: He doesn’t ask you questions in texts because you don’t ask him questions. It is a two-way street. You can’t expect him to do something that you would hardly ever do.
    • He used to ask you questions, but he eventually stopped doing so when he saw that you never do the same. It’s like you have the least interest in his life.
    • He has lost the will to know more about you. If this situation keeps escalating in an unchecked manner, this relationship will soon fall apart.
    • He could also be a shy person. He will only ask you questions while texting if you do the same. He is not going to do it on his own.
  1. He is too busy to do that: He is engrossed in his life. He is too busy to ask you questions while texting. He might act differently if you meet him in person.
    • Questioning someone in texts and waiting for that person to reply takes a lot of time. He doesn’t have that kind of time to spare. Therefore, he doesn’t ask you questions in texts.
    • If you observe carefully, you will find his replies shorter than yours or any other person’s. That is because he is always in a hurry and has to save as much time as he can.
    • He might seem different when you meet him in person, but in virtual mediums, he will keep acting cold when he is busy. For him, his work comes first.
  1. He doesn’t know what to ask: He wants to ask you questions, but he doesn’t know what to ask. This can happen in various situations.
    • This happens when he is actually clueless about what to ask you. He wants to know more about you, but the questions won’t come to his mind.
    • This can also happen when he knows the questions he wants to ask but can’t ask you anything because he doesn’t know where and how to start.
    • Texting doesn’t always reveal a person’s present state of mind. He doesn’t ask you questions be he is unaware of your mental state. He doesn’t know what to ask because he is unwilling to play guessing games about your mental state.
  1. He is depressed: He doesn’t ask you questions in texts because he is too depressed to do that. He has lost the will to be happy. His mental state is too complicated to care about you.
    • His depression is eating him up from the inside. He is not being able to do the simplest social activities.
    • You are a significant part of his life, but his texts suggest otherwise. His replies are mostly short and to the point. Sometimes he won’t even reply.
    • Expecting him to ask you questions in texts is a luxury now. He needs help from an expert. He will get back to his old self once he is fine. He is too depressed to function right now.

What to do when he doesn’t ask you questions in texts?

  1. Ask him questions instead: Ask him questions in texts if he doesn’t ask you questions. Questions from you might spur him to ask a few about you.
    • If you can’t get him to ask questions in texts, ask him questions about himself. He will answer your questions out of politeness. This might increase his interest in you, and that will make him ask more questions.
    • Texts might not be his thing, and if that is so, he will try his best not to talk to you via text. He is probably more comfortable with other mediums of communication. Your job is to make him talk to you through texts.
  1. Ask him to see a therapist: If you find him showing signs of clinical depression, ask him to consult a therapist as soon as possible. His mental health is at stake here, and nothing is more important than that.
    • Depression is detrimental to a person’s mental and physical health. It can make his life sedentary and bring in new diseases with it.
    • Depressed people often lose the will to live. If you are eager to have a healthy relationship with this guy, you will have to try bringing him out of that state.
    • You can’t help him directly with this. You can ask him to visit a therapist for psychological counseling, or you can take him to a therapist yourself.
    • Taking him to consult a therapist will ensure a fast recovery, as he might stall going to the therapist due to his depression.
  1. Talk to his friends: Talk to his friends to know more about him and the reasons behind his behavior. He won’t ask you questions while texting, and you deserve to know why.
    • His friends might know a great deal about him. They are probably the best people to go to when you want to know more about him and his personality.
    • They will be able to enlighten you about the kind of person you are dating. They will be able to tell you if he is an introvert or an extrovert.
    • They know their friends better than you, and they will help you if they find you worthy of help. You must be aware of the fact that they will judge you from the moment you approach them
    • Try to be as polite as possible if you want to extract the right information from them. Say good things about their friend in front of them and do not say anything that demeans the guy you are dating, even if his friends say so. That is a test for you to pass.
  1. Ask him why won’t he ask questions: He doesn’t ask you questions in texts because he has his reasons. Ask him what these reasons are.
    • Ask him whether he likes you or not. He is supposed to ask you questions in texts if he likes you. By not doing that and doing other affectionate things, he is sending mixed signals. Talk to him about that.
    • If you guys are already in a long-term relationship, worrying about him not asking questions about you in texts is a bit absurd.
    • Long-term relationships have their own set of questions to be asked in texts. Check if he asks you such questions or not. Check if he asks if you had your dinner or not. Ideally, he should check on you after you have come home from work. See if he does that.
    • The showy questions from rom-coms can wait. This is the real deal. Check if he checks on you at regular intervals. If he does so, you are at a great place, relationship-wise.
  1. Texts are not his thing, so call him instead: Texts are not his thing. That’s why he is so disinterested in talking to you via text messages. He is not fond of typing out what he feels. You can try calling him instead.
    • He is an old-school person who doesn’t get all the hype about text messages. He likes long phone calls and romantic dates.
    • He doesn’t ask you questions in texts, but if you call him, you will find a whole new person who talks without a break and laughs heartily.
    • You won’t find all that in texts. Texts only carry words and emojis. He doesn’t ask you questions in your inbox because he feels that is impersonal. He probably wants you to call him or meet him in person for a romantic date night.
  1. Spend more time with him: You should spend more time with him to know him better and to let him know you better. Asking impersonal questions in texts wouldn’t help you in this.
    • Spending more time doesn’t mean you guys will spend more time on the messaging app together. You guys need to snap out of the virtual world.
    • Spend more time with him in person to know him better. Go on romantic dates and weekend trips. Take vacations if you want. Explore the country together, and the journey will make you familiar.
    • Make some effort to spend time with him in person, even if you are a text person. If you are interested in pursuing this relationship and if you have romantic feelings for this guy, you will have to make this little effort.
  1. Check if he is upset: He doesn’t ask you questions in texts, probably because he is upset about something. You might be the reason for his bad mood.
    • Check if he is upset. This is applicable, especially when not asking questions in texts is unlikely for him. He must be too preoccupied with something to pay attention to little details like this.
    • Apologize if you are the reason for his foul mood. If you care about this relationship, make things right with him before it is too late. You might end up losing him.
    • Misunderstandings can also make him upset. Check if something happened between you two to trigger a misunderstanding.
    • Try to resolve these issues before it gets to have an adverse effect on your relationship. He will understand if you explain things to him politely and with patience.
  1. Ask him if he is interested in you anymore: He doesn’t ask you questions, probably because he is not interested in you anymore. Ask if he still likes you. The future of your relationship depends on this.
    • Clearly, you guys don’t have the same amount of seriousness about this relationship. You are more affectionate than him. He barely asks you questions while texting. It seems as if he is not interested in knowing you better.
    • Ask him how much he knows about you. You can even conduct a little test instead of asking direct questions. Try to sneak questions about yourself into conversations and observe how he deals with them.
    • Ask him if he likes someone else. Try to have a mature conversation about this, as being with someone he doesn’t like will only be a waste of time for both of you. Instead, he should be with the person he is dating behind your back.
    • You should be able to determine whether this relationship has a future or not based on his behavior. He should be able to talk to you via text messages. Two people who like each other should have things to talk about.
    • Running out of topics to discuss or questions to ask is not a good sign for a relationship. If this continues for a while, you should think about staying in this relationship.
  1.  Try to know him better: Try to know him better before you jump to conclusions about his personality or his character. There are numerous ways to do that. Whatever you do, never hurt his feelings unnecessarily.
    • Spend time on video calls instead of regular calls. Seeing each other’s faces will help you guys connect with each other better.
    • If it is a long-distance relationship, virtual modes of communication are supposed to be your lifeline, and that includes texting. He might not be comfortable with the idea of showing affection through typed-out words and emojis, but everyone has the potential to change.
    • Allow him some time to get the hang of it. He might not love texting, but he will settle for it knowing that it is a way to keep in touch with you all the time, as calling is not an option during several parts of the day.
    • If he is an introvert, it is your responsibility to identify that and help him get comfortable around you. He won’t ask you questions because of his introverted nature. Ask him questions and give him some time to do the same. He will appreciate your help with an open heart.
    • He might be scared of making a complete fool of himself. If you are an attractive person, he might think you are way out of his league. That is probably stopping him from asking questions. You will have to identify this character trait and deal with it in a manner that he regains his confidence around you. He shouldn’t think less of himself just because you fulfill the characteristics of socially accepted beauty standard.


A few things to remember:

  • Don’t pester him to ask you questions.
  • Check if he is seeing someone behind your back.
  • He is not much into texting if he doesn’t seem to ask you questions in texts. He might not even reply to all of your texts.
  • Not asking you questions in texts doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you.
  • Try to make him comfortable around you.
  • Tell him what you want and why it is so important to you.
  • Apologize (and mean it) if you are the reason for his foul mood if you want to retain this relationship.
  • His friends know him better than most people. They can help you decode his mind.
  • Never make fun of his questions. Always remember this is what you wanted from this relationship.
  • If you feel uncomfortable about answering any of his questions, talk to him about that.

About the Author

Nirajana Mukherjee

Nirajana Mukherjee has been helping people find out their relationship queries since 2019. At Relationshippp she loved to talk about topics related to Dating, Affairs, Attraction, and Breakups. Her work can be seen in RelationshipExplained - A Renowned Relationship Blog. Nirajana has a Masters in English literature from St. Xavier's University.
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