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Guy Ignores Me but Talks to Others (Meaning & What to Do)

Feature Image of Guy Ignores Me but Talks to OthersThe guy surely has a jealous girlfriend who got no chill if her guy talks to an attractive girl. Moreover, the guy might be crushing on you. He is scared that it will become too apparent when he talks to you, so he avoids it. 

In this blog post, I'll help you figure out why the guy ignores you but talks to others.

Reasons why the guy ignores you but talks to others

  1. He has a girlfriend: When the guy is committed and misses you, he is faithful to his woman. If you weren't romantically interested in him, you wouldn't have minded his ignorance toward you.
    • The guy you have stumbled upon is a man of character. He won't take any chances in disappointing his girl. Such guys are rare creatures. They love like no other. 
    • In such a case, being friends with them also helps a great deal. It keeps you positively charged. You can be hopeful that there are decent folks in the world and that there is hope. 
    • Hence, taking things slow, and getting comfortable around him, even in hindsight, might help him gather the courage to break the ice. 
  1. He finds you intimidating: If you are his boss's daughter, or you are your person or bossy in nature, he might find you intimidating.
    • Intimidation can prevent conversations. They are so awed by your presence that they might go quiet around you.
    • A warm smile can help in putting them at ease here. Moreover, not smiling at someone smiling at you is rude, so it could seriously smooth things out for both of you.
  1. You are rich: If you are a rich man’s daughter or a well-established entrepreneur, or if the guy comes from a humble background, there might be unsaid gaps distancing you every time you try to close the distance.
    • Societal hierarchy works in weird ways. It conditions our functioning, and we tend to speak or do things unconsciously that might hurt others’ feelings. 
    • While you might assume that you never said or did anything against him, his battle might not be against you, but against the class you represent. Your words or treatment of people might have been pleasing towards him but not so much of the same level when treating the likes of him. 
    • Guys are mostly egoists. When they see you humiliating or offending someone from their tribe, they cannot stand it. Look into their eyes to see how they reflect on you. If he is offended, you will see anger there. Whereas, if he is guilty of something, the eyes won’t be able to speak out loud.
  1. He is shy: While most guys are not shy, an introvert or someone much younger than you might be. A shy person will try to avoid your company more when they like you.
    • Try to touch his palms someday, rub your hand against his and see the reaction. If he gets instant goosebumps, or he moans, gasps, opens his mouth, or takes a deep breath, he is in awe for you. 
    • A shy person needs initiative. When you take the first step with them, it helps them to shed their coyness. They also get comfortable knowing that gender roles do not dictate you. 
    • Shy people are attracted to people on the other extreme. They like it when the other person is bold, dominant, and confident enough to make the call. They don’t like to be taken for stereotypical roles. You will be surprised to find out how kinky these people are.
  1. You remind him of someone: If your face, countenance, habits, gestures, way of talking, eating, movement, the comments you make, the thoughts you represent, among other things, remind them strongly of someone who had been close to them once upon a time, and had broken their heart, they would naturally put special efforts to avoid our company.
    • When the person or memories haunting us manifest into another face and occur before us, we are put into the deepest gallows. Nothing is scarier than the thought of going through all the miseries again.
    • Even if this other person used to be someone special, the thought that they have finally found a replacement for that special someone will bring chills down their spine; the first and most difficult thing is to lose someone precious. The second most difficult thing is to replace them with someone else.
    • Either case, you must give them time to come around you. Despite everything, they will get their reasons to have you in their life. It will be meaningful only when it occurs naturally without you paying special attention. 
  1. He finds your style offensive: Don’t be too surprised to get rejected when a guy finds your style offensive. Most men fear fearless women. If you are comfortable in your shoes and stand taller in feet than the guy in question here, he won't be able to gather the courage to be by your side.
    • Some guys are so competitive in life that everything about it becomes a rat race to them. So will it be with their partners? When you are dressed in a certain way that makes every eye fall on you and every mouth talk about you, such guys won’t be able to deal with it.
    • The problem with this lot is that they are too insecure about their masculinity. They want to be assertive about claiming to their woman that they cannot stand another person eyeing their beauty. Such are the patriarchal products of society. You must not care a bit for a man of such baseness. They do not deserve it.
  1. You are very friendly: When you are over-friendly with people and treat everyone equally, you might feel bad because the guy is ignoring you, whereas the guy is ignoring you for this very trait in you.
    • The guy cannot accept that you are friends with one another. He might take you to be a people pleaser who loves to sugar-quote everything and scares nothing more than being in the bad books of others. 
    • You can think of the series Wednesday. The character who played Wednesday’s roommate loved to be popular. She would talk and be friendly with everyone, allowing her free passports in the lives of others. She used her benefit to become the institute's gossip queen and post things about people's lives publicly.
    • Men are not as much into gossip as most women, and some men even condemn the thought of it. If this guy feels you are one such woman, he will do his best to ignore you.
  1. You are overthinking: Perhaps you are just a stranger to this person, and he hasn’t even noticed you, for he belongs to a different department and likes to stay work-oriented.
    • No matter how saddening or disappointing we might take this to be, some men don’t quite notice or checks women. Not necessarily this lot might be a pack of handsome gay men, though there is a strong possibility.
    • Yet these men are more ambitious and run by working daily on accomplishing their short-term objectives and moving closer to their long-term goals. 
    • You will understand whether this guy is one such or not by going through his performance review. How far and quickly he has achieved new milestones in his career will tell you how ambitious or an overachiever he is. 
    • However, there is also the possibility that he is merely a lazy ass who likes to allow things to come to him naturally rather than working to achieve them. In that case, you will see a poor performance review card showing him stumbling in the same place for more than a year. 
    • You might find this quality so unattractive that you might stop caring about his ignoring you at once. Losers fail to matter in the book of others. However, if you genuinely feel for him, you will try to find ways to help him. Either way, don’t overspend yourself if you find your efforts vain. Not everyone deserves your spoon of goodness.
  1. He is taking his time in observing you: There is a strong possibility that the guy is taking his time to closely observe you so that when he finally decides to court you, he has already contemplated your reactions to situations and will design his dialogues accordingly.
    • Some guys are so sly that while we struggle to decode their outer mask, they are ten steps ahead in planning and proceeding with things or people of interest.
    • You will be appalled to see how one fine day you receive a text from them where each syllable of the words they type out to you woo you earnestly. It will have a hypersensitive effect on you because you have long longed for them. 
    • While the move will be too puzzling, you will fail to understand what they are doing and won’t care for questioning the hows and whys. They will make you feel that it has always been you who has been interested in them, but the real game has been the other way around. 
    • It will only be later that you might realize that you have been played. It might not necessarily happen in your case if the guy’s intentions are good. However, in most cases, it is seen that such guys are brilliant at brainwashing, and they only say or do things that they are certain will achieve a heightened and desired effect.
  1. He doesn't like your ideas: When you represent a radically different school of thought, your political views, opinions, and favor differ from the guy you are interested in, the guy, rather than being fascinated by you and your representation of things, might choose to shut the door on you.
    • This mostly happens when you can show the guy his place at once. Say there was a competition or a debate, and you outwitted the guy. He might take it to his pride. 
    • Guys can’t stand headstrong women, especially when they are more practical and objective in life than they are. They find it spicy. Such people are shallow and if they are the ones ignoring you, be grateful to god, for you won’t find their show of interest doing you any good in life either.

What to do when a guy ignores you but talks to others?

  1. Ask him his problem: Start treating people as customer service centers or agents, and life will become much easier. Just like you tell all your problems, and share all your difficulties with the helping desk, in a similar manner, resolve your queries and difficulties in coping with the person from the person himself.
    • It is as simple as it can get. The ultimate word is that only that person can help you solve the problems related to him in life. 
    • If the problems remain unchecked, spilling the tea on another’s shoes might make the situation messy. You can trust no one’s words or expressions more than yours. 
    • You don’t have to be sarcastic here. Approach politeness. The impression that you are there to ease things rather than add to their life hacks must be clear. If they choose not to talk, their lesson is to not be after a lot.
  1. Ignore him in the same way: What is better than ignoring people the way they ignore you when you find the situation helpless and all the doors that reach them closed?
    • You can’t force yourself or your bond onto a person. People who choose to ignore you must have their reasons for it. 
    • Sometimes rather than running after the reason, you can let the matter rest. If your conscience isn’t pricking you, there might not be anything in particular that you would have done. 
    • Tit-for-tat works for a large set of people. You are not being mean here. Keeping things even helps the other person to understand that they cannot take others for granted.
  1. Dig into his social media accounts: If this person fascinates you, digging into his social media accounts might give you some lead as to what he is up to. That would eventually lead you to understand his reason for ignoring or being distant from you.
    • Something must bother them when the other party runs away from breaking the ice. This something could be another person who plays a significant role in their life.
    • This person could be their wife, girlfriend, mother, siblings, or anyone whose responsibilities they have taken up in their life are significant.
    • If the guy has taken responsibility for a kid, this kid could be his or his younger sibling or his niece or nephew. He would not take a woman easily in his life. He would need to see that she is responsible enough to take charge. 
    • He won’t want to add up another responsibility to that list. He is rather looking for someone to share the responsibilities with. 
    • When you come across as one such person, rather than being a humbug, fidgety, bossy person, you show that you are understanding, cooperative, loving, and caring. You are certain to have all his attention.
  1. Be humble: If you feel you might be keeping him off you unconsciously because you are arrogant or difficult to reach, change your way and conduct with people. Be more inviting, warm, generous, and humble to others.
    • Humility is a very attractive quality. When a guy finds a girl to be down-to-earth, the chances of his falling head-over-heels for her are high.
    • Be such a woman that your man does not go haywire to look for reasons for loving you. Be kind to others. Kindness is always in fashion.
  1. Ask him for his opinion: If you think the guy is ignoring you because he is not getting an opportunity to approach you otherwise, give him one. This lending of opportunities at his doorstep can be done in multiple ways.
    • One of the quickest ways is to make the guy feel important. Boosting his confidence can take you right into making him comfortable in life. 
    • Asking for the guy’s recommendation, advice, or opinion or directly seeking help can enable him to hook up with you. He will understand that a horny devil has possessed you and might as well decide to be relentless in his reciprocation toward you. 
    • Ask him to help you with one of the guy’s stuff. It could be installing software, buying a machine, installing the machine, or buying a worthy present for another man. The last option might turn him green. He will be jealous to find out that you have someone special in your life. That is when you either tell him it’s for family or wrap it and gift it to him.
  1. Send him a friend request: When you cannot open directly to one another, do it virtually. Send him a friend request on social media or a direct message on one of the platforms.
    • If you want to be too direct in your approach, comment on one of his posts. Tease him, approach him, talk to him. Give him a handful of opportunities to get back at you. 
    • When he does that, accept him with open arms. Don’t take things too fast. Try to understand his needs and what he might be looking for. Be empathetic. Allow him the same if he needs time to settle before beginning a new episode.
  1. Share your tiffin: Food can open up new portals in life. When you share, bake, or make tiffin for that special person, it is certain to please them and secure a special place for you in their hearts.
    • Be the Monica to his Chandler. And even if he turns out to be Joey, your seal of friendship shall be permanent. 
    • Recall how you made friends in your school days. You invited them for a house party, shared food, and learned about their choices and preferences. 
    • They are bound to appreciate it when you take the extra step to do things to suit their flavor. If they fail to do so, their heart is made of iron, or they are sinking too deep into misunderstanding or notions about you.
  1. Organize a house party and invite him: Inviting other people to get that one person in your private zone and comfort is a gesture overloaded with cuteness. Think of Pam and Jim from the OFFICE in this regard.
    • All the house parties become ultra special when you have that special someone to get into your cozy corners with. The gesture shall be appreciated when you organize one such party at your place and invite all your friends and colleagues to spend some extra informal time with that one person. 
    • However, if the person chooses to skip the party, something stronger has been bothering him. In such a case, don’t be too disheartened. Remember Michael Scott’s saying that it is never too late? You must persevere in your attempts, and the person will find a way to pave his way for you. 
  1. Be patient: Sometimes, the only way out of a problem is to bear with it. So, if a guy is ignoring you deliberately, bear with it. Sooner or later, the guy will get tired of it or bored and will begin to treat you like he treats others.
    • Time fails, no tests. When you begin treating a person with indifference, they will become more explicit in their approach towards you. 
    • Even if they hate you, they will at least express the cause without any hesitation. That is when you begin to mend it. 
    • It would bring you the opportunity to settle things and spring to a fresh start naturally.


Here are a few things to keep in mind:

  • Learn to value yourself first. Only then will others learn to value you. When you respect yourself and hold your dignity high, others will do the same. However, be certain that your level of self-esteem is not regarded as vague. You are doing it wrong if the other person considers it your vanity.
  • Kindness and a smile can melt iron. Treat soreness with kindness. The person is sure to be more benevolent in his treatment of you. Don’t overspend yourself in the process.
  • Learn to be indifferent to your surroundings. Be a person of character rather than one of the incidents. Don’t let your situation and circumstances dictate your moves. Be determined rather than spontaneous. 

About the Author

Suprity Acharyya

Suprity is the editor-in-chief of Relationshippp and its parent site RelationshipExplained. She overlooks the end-to-end editorial publishing pipeline. She has a Bachelor's Degree in English and did her Master's in Social Welfare Management.
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