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My Girlfriend Thinks She's Fat (Reasons and What to Do)

Feature Image of My Girlfriend Thinks She's FatHer clothes are not fitting her, or she has been body shaped by her colleagues. This has given her an insecure feeling about her body. You can inspire her to upgrade her lifestyle. Give her constant compliments to make her more confident about herself.

In this blog post, I will help you figure out why your girlfriend feels fat and how you can help her. Keep reading to know more.

Reasons why your girlfriend thinks she is fat

  1. You don’t compliment her: Unlike other boyfriends, if you hardly ever compliment your girlfriend, she will take it by heart and feel that she isn’t as attractive as she used to be due to an increase in her weight.
    • Exchanging compliments must be a regular part of a relationship. It builds trust, increases confidence, and you learn to appreciate the company of your partner.
    • While your girlfriend observes that all her friend’s boyfriends compliment them and write songs on their praises day and night, she might feel left out if you don’t.
    • Your reason might be different. It might not be that she has put on weight preventing you from giving compliments. It might not be in your nature to do so. 
    • It would have been easier if you had never put effort into giving compliments from the beginning. The sudden change has made her skeptical. However, if you were never a courteous guy or one who knew how to please through the articulation of words, she has become demanding and wants you to treat her the way other guys treat their girls.
  1. Her clothes don’t fit: It would be natural for her to feel so if they don’t fit. The clothes have suddenly become body-hugging, and she is getting anxious about it. In such cases, you must tell her that you like her plumpiness more than her skinniness.
    • The increase in waistline is disastrous for a woman. There is nothing that breaks her heart more. Hence, if her pair of denim doesn’t fit her a fine morning, she might as well have a nervous breakdown.
    • Thus, it becomes important that you allow her to rant out as she feels fit. Neither argue nor agree nor disagree to her acclamations and declarations. Consider her statements as monologues.
    • The chances are high that she is talking to herself through you. The best option here for you is to be empathetic. Tell her that you feel her. You can come up with a fictional past where you experienced a similar crisis and how you managed to cope with the situation. It will help her greatly as though her gut feeling might tell her that you are making this up, she would still choose to believe you. 
  1. She has a double chin: The situation gets extremely tricky when she shows up with a double chin at your door. You might feel like bursting out in laughter, or you might find her adorable. If you are a fitness freak, you might even be disgusted by the look of that extra pound of flesh.
    • A double chin doesn’t necessarily mean fat. It could be neutralized back with the help of certain facial movements. Make your girlfriend watch some youtube videos to show the tutorial. 
    • The approach to double chins should not be disgust or repulsion. It should be taken as a warning that a lifestyle change is needed. You can help your girlfriend plan the changes that will help her a long way.
  1. She is having health issues: A prominent reason for feeling fat could be a gain in weight which could be a result of health issues. Regular checkups will keep alarming situations at bay.
    • Take her for a full body checkup, or visit the physician to ensure that her weight increase is not due to thyroid, diabetes, or hormonal changes. If the tests turn out to be positive, help her out with proper treatment.
    • Console her by saying that getting anxious would only make it worse. She needs positivity more than anything else. Every problem has a solution, and you will be by her side to support her.
    • Strengthen yourself, as there will be times when your girlfriend will get too emotional due to such changes, and you cannot use it to shout at her. You must remain calm and composed even if your girlfriend fails to.
  1. She is lethargic all the time: If your girlfriend is feeling lazy and sleepy all the time, it can make her body swollen, and she might feel fat.
    • Timely sleeping and good hours of sleep are important but so is remaining active. If one oversleeps or takes afternoon naps, or fights the urge to sleep by overconsuming caffeine, the body will swell like a ball. 
    • Hence, maintaining a balance is important. If you can see that whenever you call up your girlfriend, she talks in a sleepish voice, you can help her by shaking herself and getting on her feet to welcome the new day with an energetic spirit.
  1. She is testing you: She is trying to understand if you find her attractive. She is also trying to ascertain if you find her more attractive or less attractive than other women.
    • This is something that either insecure women or narcissistic women tend to practice. They will self-accuse themselves to see how their boyfriends handle the situation.
    • If you take their words seriously and call her fat, you fail the exam. If you tell her that you will continue to love her even if she becomes double what she is now, you win. 
    • However, you excel when you explain the importance of staying fit and avoiding diseases. You tell her that it is not the physical beauty that you are concerned about but her health.
  1. She doesn’t feel loved: Your girlfriend has become needy. She is behaving absurdly because she wants you to love her.
    • With time, the spark begins to diminish, but the craving remains. Though you might not have regular makeout, she might think it unloved. 
    • The importance of constant exchanges becomes vital to sustenance. Make her feel desired with your words and actions. 
  1. She has unrealistic goals: If your girlfriend likes to maintain the standard sexiest figure known to have achieved by a woman, she has unrealistic goals. To err is human. While it is not impossible, it isn't easy to be the epitome of the best.
    • The trouble increases if she indulges in her cravings. This is the biggest trouble of wanting to have a sexy figure. One fails to remain constant in their endeavors. Hence, if your girlfriend is a foodie, you can perhaps share with her certain zero-calorie food ingredients and low-calorie food recipes to help her out with this.
    • Switching to becoming a vegan has helped many people to achieve their goals. It has proven more long-lasting than the traditional keto diet. It is about changing the lifestyle. You don’t take it as a hustle when you accept it as part of your routine.
  1. She wants to make a career in the glamor world: If your girl is a model or targeted to be one, even a milligram increase in her body weight will make her feel that she is fat. If you haven’t dated a model or someone from the fashion world before, it is going to be a hard task for you to balance out things with your girlfriend.
    • The trouble increases when you are a foodie. You would naturally want your girlfriend to go on food dates with you. Or, you might cook food and want her to have bites. 
    • There is the possibility of you wanting to treat your girlfriend with goodies. If you buy her chocolates or delicious desserts, it could hamper her weight goal motives and make life difficult for her. 
    • When dating someone from the glamor world, you must make their life goals yours. When you look through their lenses, you can empathize with them strongly.
  1. She is too sensitive to criticism: If your girlfriend is a good temperament woman full of warmth and affection for everyone. She likes to cook and invite people over for meals. The chances are that she is a people pleaser, and it becomes too difficult for her to handle blatant criticism.
    • If one of your girlfriend’s guests doesn’t like her food, or is in a bad mood, or wants to mess up with your girlfriend and hence tells her heart-wrenching things such as she wants to make everyone as fat as her with her recipes, she might take it to heart.
    • It is not very difficult to upset people pleaser. They are so dependent on other people’s opinions of them that they lack self-worth. They would always look at themselves from the eyes of the other.
    • Your girlfriend needs help. You need to help her understand the importance of self-confidence and self-worth. She needs to filter out the worthy from the unworthy and put her efforts in the right direction. 
  1. She fears losing people: If your girlfriend has experienced many losses, she will strongly cling to those who are left. If she is friends with a group of people who appreciates looking over character, she will always be beauty conscious.
    • Making the right sets of friends is as important as passing an examination. Introducing your girlfriend to your group and the people you trust can be effective. You can help her in filtering the correct set of people in life.
    • Talk to your girlfriend about it. Explain to her that she needs to shorten her friend list. Not everyone you know is your friend. Friendship is a tricky business. If you are putting efforts from one side while the other end is only receiving, it is unfair.

What to do when your girlfriend thinks she is fat?

  1. Give her a regular dose of compliments: You can easily avoid such a situation where your girlfriend thinks herself to be fat by giving her a regular dose of compliments. When you appreciate her beauty, know her body, and don’t mind her flesh, she will bask in comfort.
    • Whereas if your girlfriend feels judged by her boyfriend, it can be sickening. You must have her back through thick and thin. You must be supportive and loving.
    • One such way to show your love to her is by addressing her with endearing names. When you become all soft for her, don’t criticize her harshly, she will go easy on herself. 
  1. Hit the gym with her: You can help your girlfriend maintain or reach her goal by hitting the gym with her, enrolling in dance classes, or practicing yoga designed for couples with her.
    • This will be very effective as the process will neither be boring nor difficult when you do it together. It would be looked up as fun, and your girlfriend will always be enthusiastic about it. 
    • Even going swimming or hiking together can help to get rid of that excess carbs. Sticking together is the key here. 
    • You cannot and must not abandon each other because of dynamic scales. You can easily win against it.
  1. Push her towards adopting a healthier lifestyle: If you don’t have time to join your girlfriend for trekking, gyming, or swimming, you can always persuade her to do it solo by providing her with a listicle of the benefits she will get from it.
    • Tell her that it will introduce her to a new set of people who share the same goals and face the same difficulties in life. That way, she can find people with a common interest and befriend them. This alone will be good enough to help her scale things down in life.
    • Help her pick up the right classes for herself. When you research and make the calls to understand what shall fit your girlfriend best, you will prove to be very helpful. She will be encouraged to take the classes because you have taken the extra pain to make it worth it for her. She will do it because she doesn’t want to disappoint or let you down.
  1. Set couple of goals together: Setting achievable goals for every week and regularly scaling yourself and measuring your inches can help set the right goals.
    • Knowing the parameters, understanding how your body responds to the parameters, and designing an efficient way to use the parameters to achieve your targeted goal is a fun-loving ways to maintain weight. 
    • When you indulge in a great session of cardio at least thrice a week, you are bound to feel free. The feeling that you control your body movements and the way your body reacts to a stimulus or the lack of it will push you forward to become the better version of yourself.
    • Be the role model or the yogi for your girlfriend and inspire her to im high and work on its prospectus and blueprint accordingly. Moving blindly toward a destination will lead her nowhere.
  1. Click photos with her: An easy way of boasting about the self-confidence of your girlfriend is to click photos with her. When you take pictures together, she will know that you love her and are unaware of her body. This will take her a long way in self-affirmation.
    • Besides boasting about your girlfriend’s self-confidence, taking pictures together will also help to set couple goals together. You can pick up a tentative icon and work on yourselves to move in that direction.
    • Photographs can be taken as a statement of love. When you post pictures together, you come across as a strong couple. It helps in putting down the fingers pointing at your girlfriend’s physique or body shaming her because she will never have a boyfriend.
  1. Seek help from her friends: When the situation gets too overwhelming, you can seek help from your girlfriend’s friends and ask them to be more thoughtful and sensitive to your girlfriend.
    • There must be a cause for your girlfriend to think all this. It might be her group of friends. When the gang isn’t supportive or favorable, it leads to a compromise of self-esteem. 
    • Hence, talking to her friends and explaining to them the effect of their words on your girlfriend and urging them to be sensitive with their remarks and comments can put your girlfriend at ease
  1. Take her for counseling: If you feel these are the signs of a disturbed state of mind or some notions have hit your girlfriend wrong and made her obsessive about certain factors, you must advise her to seek help from a counselor.
    • Your girlfriend might not open up to you the way she would before a counselor. What is troubling her or hitting her conscience hard could be disturbed sleep, work pressure, nightmares, recent loss, some social evil, something she has seen, or a case that she recently witnessed in her arena of work that has made her fearful. 
    • The counselor would understand her thought patterns and will be able to guide her in the right direction. Moreover, it will save you a ton of trouble, as cleansing another person is a brain-racking and energy-draining task.
  1. Meditation can take her a long way: Encourage your girlfriend to meditate. That way, she will attract positive vibes, and rather than complaining her way in and out, she will be able to find ways to deal with problems more effectively.
    • Your girlfriend must muster the courage to deal with the daily hacks herself. She cannot whine like a child. Meditation will guide her on the right path. You can meditate with her either in the open grass fields or in an enclosed room by focusing on the whim of a candle.
    • The importance of meditation cannot be underestimated. Enroll her in one of the art-of-living classes. When she learns the right breathing technique, she can control her mood swings rather than allowing them to get the better of her.
  1. Treat her gently: If you think your girlfriend is being too harsh on her because you have always been judgemental with people or you are a fitness freak, and she fears disappointing you, mend your way of dealing with her.
    • Learn to differentiate between a person’s external factors and inner nature. Your girlfriend should be the last person on earth whom you plan to treat harshly or criticize.
    • Your girlfriend should feel safe with you. She must feel blessed to have you in her life. She should not feel you would abandon her if she undergoes weight gain.
  1. Assure her you love her for her personality: Reminding your girlfriend all the reasons why you love her can help both of you to come out of this perplexing phase. Think of it as an examination and not the other way around.
    • Your girlfriend might be testing you by calling herself fat. She is reading your facial and body language. Do you get disgusted by the thought of dating a fat woman? 
    • Hence, in any case, maintain your calm and composure, and bear a genuine smile that shows that you love her in all the scenarios. That way, even if she gets fat, she can work on herself to delight you.


Here are a few things to keep in mind:

  • When your girlfriend calls herself fat, tell her that she is using the word wrong. Fat and thin are not had proper connotations. If she is overweight, tell her you are there to help her out.
  • Don’t succumb to societal standards and dissuade your girlfriend from doing it, either. The target should be fitness. It should not be acing on the beauty scale. The parameters should be well-being and positivity.
  • Never body shame your girlfriend or any other person. It will leave a negative impact. Show her that you love her with your all. Your love should be well proportionate even if her figure is not.

About the Author

Suprity Acharyya

Suprity is the editor-in-chief of Relationshippp and its parent site RelationshipExplained. She overlooks the end-to-end editorial publishing pipeline. She has a Bachelor's Degree in English and did her Master's in Social Welfare Management.
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