How to Design a Custom Double Headstone With Your Spouse
The process of planning for the future is one of the most loving and responsible things a couple can do together. It’s an act of care that provides immense peace of mind for both yourselves and for the children you’ll one day leave behind. While conversations about final arrangements can be difficult, the process of […]The process of planning for the future is one of the most loving and responsible things a couple can do together. It’s an act of care that provides immense peace of mind for both yourselves and for the children you’ll one day leave behind. While conversations about final arrangements can be difficult, the process of designing a shared memorial can be a surprisingly beautiful and deeply meaningful experience.
For many couples, this is a profound final act of partnership. It’s a chance to sit down together and decide how you want your shared story to be told for generations to come. Designing a custom headstone is not about dwelling on an ending; it’s about celebrating a life lived side-by-side. It ensures that your final tribute is a true and loving reflection of your unique partnership.
If you and your spouse are beginning this thoughtful journey, here is a simple guide to help you create a beautiful and lasting tribute.
Before you look at a single catalog or granite sample, the most important step is to simply talk to each other. The goal of a companion memorial is to tell the story of your life together.
Pour a cup of coffee and sit down to reflect on your journey. Ask yourselves a few key questions:
- What is the most important thing we want people to remember about our life together?
- Is there a symbol that represents our partnership? (ex., intertwined rings, a heart, a specific flower, a beloved tree).
- Is there a short quote, a scripture verse, or a line from a song that has always been special to us?
- What words best describe our shared life? (ex. "Love, Laughter, and Family").
This conversation will become the creative brief for your entire design.
Choose the Words and Symbols That Tell Your Story
Once you have your core theme, you can start to translate it into the specific elements of the headstone.
- The Epitaph: This is the heart of the memorial. You can choose a shared epitaph, like "Together Forever" or "An Enduring Love," which is typically placed in the center. You will also have space for individual inscriptions under each name, such as "Beloved Husband, Father, and Friend."
- The Imagery: Instead of two separate images, a companion monument is the perfect canvas for a single, unifying symbol placed between your names. This could be a beautifully etched cross, a pair of doves, or an image of a place that was special to your relationship, like a mountain landscape or a quiet lake. This focus on creating a meaningful tribute is a key part of the healing process.
Decide on the Physical Details Together
The stone itself is a major part of the design. Choosing the material, color, and shape together ensures that it reflects your shared taste.
- Material and Color: Granite is the most durable and popular choice, and it comes in a wide variety of beautiful colors, from classic gray and deep black to warm rose and rich blue.
- Shape: While a classic rectangle is always a dignified choice, you can also choose a stone with a gentle, curved "serpentine" top, or a more traditional heart shape.
- Finish: Do you prefer the sleek, reflective look of a polished finish, or the more rustic, natural feel of a stippled or unpolished finish?
A Crucial Final Step: Check the Cemetery Regulations
Before you finalize your design and place your order, it is absolutely essential that you check with your specific cemetery. Every cemetery has its own set of rules and regulations regarding the size, shape, material, and style of the monuments it allows in different sections.
A good memorial provider will be familiar with the rules of the local cemeteries and can help you with this, but it’s always a good idea to confirm them yourself. This ensures that the beautiful monument you design together will be approved for installation without any issues. Professional organizations can also be a valuable resource for understanding these common industry practices.
Designing a companion headstone is one of the most lasting and loving projects a couple can undertake. It is a final, collaborative act that creates a beautiful and enduring tribute to a shared life, providing peace of mind for you and a meaningful legacy for your family.
