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She Rejected Me but Wants My Attention (8 Hidden Reasons)

Feature Image of She Rejected Me but Wants My AttentionShe rejected you but wants your attention because she is still into you. Her mind made her reject you, but her heart wants you to be her partner. She wants your attention because she is too proud to ask for a second chance to be a part of your life.

This article will help you understand the situation where she wants your attention even after rejecting you. We have curated a list of reasons behind this behavior and a few solutions that can help you. Scroll down to deal with the situation effectively.

Reasons why she rejected you but wants your attention

  1. She is oblivious to the fact that she likes you: She likes you but is unaware of her feelings. That is why she seeks your attention even after rejecting the possibility of a relationship with you.
    • She thinks she is not into you, but her subconscious has other plans. She does not know that she likes you. She will probably realize it after some time. That is why she wants your attention even after rejecting you.
    • She rejected you because she believed that you are not the right person for her. However, she is dependent on you, emotionally. She needs you to listen to her problems. You are probably her go-to person.
    • She thinks of you as a precious friend. That is because of your politeness. You probably kept talking to her even after she rejected you (which is okay), but that made her think she is an important part of your life. However, acknowledging the fact that she has feelings for you is a bit difficult for her.
    • She seeks your attention because she wants to be a part of your life. She will probably keep in touch until you snap out and drive her out of your life. But, will you do that? You are probably still in love with this woman, and that is why you are here to find answers.
  1. She needs a favor: She wants your attention even after rejecting you because she needs a favor. She wants you to do something on her behalf. She will probably ignore you once her job is done.
    • She is too proud to ask you directly for a favor after rejecting you. That is why she is trying to get your attention so that you guys will start talking again and she will finally be able to ask you to help her.
    • She wants you to do something for her that she cannot accomplish herself. She is clever and knows how to strike the right chord. The fact that you are here looking for answers is proof that she has successfully entered your mind.
    • The favor can be financial. She needs money and you are the first person that came to her mind. She either thinks highly of you, or she thinks you are a food who will help her with money without ever asking her to return it.
    • She might even need you to deal with one of her ex-partners just like Penny used Leonard to get her T.V. back from her ex-boyfriend, in The Big bang Theory. This could happen when she is not willing to meet her ex and wants someone to get their hands dirty on her behalf.
    • She will probably look the other way when her job is done. She is a selfish woman who is probably trying to use you to get what she wants. She will act sweet and affectionate until you agree to help her out, and once you get her job done, she will ignore you (she could even ghost or block you on social media).
  1. She is tormenting you: She trying to torment you by seeking your attention. She probably wants to show off her new boyfriend (who she thinks is better than you). She might even want to rub your face with the fact that she is very attractive and way out of your league.
    • She finds pleasure in other people’s misery. She loves to make you feel bad. She seeks your attention even after rejecting you because she wants you to feel bad about how great her life is. She survives on other people’s jealousy.
    • She has probably gotten into a new relationship with a person she thinks is better than you. She wants to show you what it takes to date someone like her. She wants to make you feel like an insignificant loser.
    • She thinks she is pretty, and that is what she wants to rub on your face. She wants to show off her conventional beauty with a constant reminder that you will never get to date her. She likes to believe she is the most beautiful person on earth and that everyone is beneath her. She lives in her bubble of narcissistic thoughts and thinks she is a Petrarchan goddess whom everyone will worship by writing love sonnets.
    • She wants your attention. The moment you give in to that, she will start making you feel like the worst creature on earth. She will probably say mean things to you in twisted ways. She will come up with back-handed compliments with the intention to insult you.
  1. She is an attention-seeker: She craves attention. She probably wants attention from everyone she knows. The fact that she rejected you does not stand in the way of her attention-seeking personality.
    • This is the easiest explanation for your problem. She seeks attention because she can’t survive without it. She is not in love with you but your opinion about her still matters to her. She probably wants attention from all the people she has rejected.
    • Not just that, she probably seeks attention from all the people she knows. She needs constant validation from her parents and siblings. Her nagging nature has probably driven them out of her life.
    • This problem could have roots in her childhood. A child needs a considerable amount of attention while growing up. The lack of it often creates a flawed personality that thrives on attention from anyone and everyone.
    • As a child, she was probably neglected at home or in school. People with siblings often go through this problem. Her parents needed to focus on the younger sibling and she got neglected in the process.
    • This situation has been explored vividly in Young Sheldon, throughout six seasons. In the series about the childhood of the genius theoretical physicist Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory, his twin sister Missy often has to bear the brunt of living under the shadow of two brothers. She always ends up being the less prioritized kid, and that sometimes leads her to bad decisions and dangerous situations (like the last episode where she runs off in her father’s car to get away from a family that never prioritizes her). This is a classic way to seek attention when one does not get any. Here is how you can spot an attention-seeker.
  1. She did not like you at first, but she likes you now: She changed her mind about you. There can be a number of reasons for that. She rejected you because she thought you were not suitable for him, but now she has seen something in you that makes you attractive in her eyes. That is why she wants your attention.
    • She rejected you but wants your attention because she likes you now. Something happened between the rejection and the present that made her change her mind. She wants to be with you now.
    • She probably finds you attractive now. Something about you has made her change what she felt for you earlier. If she is more into a person’s looks, she might get attracted to the fact that you have joined the gym and your body is going through a rapid transformation.
    • She could also find you attractive if she learns you are rich. She is the textbook example of a gold-digger, who gets into a relationship only for the money. She will probably leave you if she finds a richer guy.
    • She rejected you at first because of your outward appearance. You do not dress like the rich people we find in movies. Remember Monica’s boyfriend Pete from F.R.I.E.N.D.S? He was a rich guy, yet his appearance was not like one. He did not dress like Rose’s fiancé from Titanic (well, nobody dresses like that). The moment this woman learned about your money, she is so much in love with you and wants all your attention.
  1. She wants to keep you as an option: She likes to have options when it comes to relationships. She is with someone else, and you are like a spare tire. She wants to keep you as a backup in case her present relationship fails. She seeks your attention even after rejecting you to keep you on your toes with hope.
    • She rejected you. That was unfortunate, but what comes next is worse than that. She needs your attention even after she rejected you because she wants to keep you as an option. She does not like being single. Keeping in touch with you is her way of ensuring that you are there for her when she breaks up with her present partner.
    • The problem with this situation is that you do not know when she is going to break up with her partner. It can take days, months, or even years. She plans to keep you pining for her till then.
    • She wants your attention so that she can keep you on your toes. She hangs a relationship with her as bait to keep you running behind her until she is single. She will probably ignore you once she finds a better replacement.
    • You are just a spare in her grand scheme of things. There are probably many like you who are pining for a relationship with her. She keeps all of them on their toes so that she can choose from a wide variety of options when the time comes. She has a giant god complex and likes to play around with people’s lives and emotions.
  1. She wants to see if you still like her: She is interested in you and wants to see if you still like her. She has a twisted way of testing people and you are her new subject. That is why she wants your attention even after rejecting you.
    • You liked her, and that is why you asked her out. She rejected you not because she did not like you. She likes you but wants to test your affection first. She has a weird way of testing people who ask her out.
    • She is interested in you. She seeks your attention, even after rejecting you, to see if you are still interested in her. She ideally wants to see you pining over her like a Petrarchan lover.
    • She wants to see how you behave with her after facing rejection. If you are harsh, she will leave you alone thinking you are no longer interested in her. She will not take your grievance into account.
    • With this, she is also testing your patience and behavioral characteristics. She wants to see how far you can go without snapping at her. This way, she thinks, she will find the perfect partner. However, all she does with this is insult her potential partners’ intellect by testing them like lab monkeys.
  1. She wants to stay in your life as a friend: She is not into the idea of being in a romantic relationship with you, but she would like to have you as a friend in her life. She seeks your attention even after rejecting you to retain her friendship with you.
    • She rejected you but she does not like the idea of losing the friend she has in you. She still seeks your attention with the hope that you would move on from the bitter past to be her friend again.
    • You guys made good memories until you asked her out and she rejected you. She does not want to feel sad about those memories. She is disheartened about the turn of events. She never thought you would ask her out. She was taken aback when you did that.
    • The rejection has affected your friendship. It is true that there is no going back from this situation, but she still hopes for things to get back to normal. It is a bit embarrassing for you too. Rejection is never an easy thing to deal with, but great friendships are hard to find. You can find more reasons for her behavior in this similar article.

What is the solution?

  1. Ask her if she likes you: You can directly ask her if she likes you. Tell her you cannot proceed without knowing her true intention. You can also seek help from her friends (if you guys have common friends, approach them for help).
    • Break the silence and ask her if she likes you. You can start by saying something like: “Why do you want my attention when you rejected me a few days ago?” Asking direct questions is more effective than you think.
    • You can tell her that you do not wish to engage in further conversation without knowing her true intention. Her actions confuse you and you have the right to ask difficult questions. It is okay for you to act cold around her.
    • If you two have common friends, you can approach them for help. Ask them what she says about you. You are also their friend and they are morally obligated to be honest with you. Tell them she is driving you crazy with all these mixed signals. You can even seek help from her friends.
  1. Ask if she wants a relationship with no strings attached: Ask if she wants to be friends with benefits with you. There is nothing wrong with wanting a physical relationship with no strings attached. However, consent is needed for that.
    • You can ask if she only wants a physical relationship with you. Based on her answer, you can tell her whether you want to be friends-with-benefits with her or not. She wants your attention just because she wants to get physical with you.
    • She rejected you because she is not interested in a serious relationship right now. She wants a casual relationship with no strings attached. Now, the question is: Do you want such a relationship? Everything depends on you at this juncture. If you get into a physical relationship with her, you will be able to get close to her (even though it is only physical, there is always a chance that you will be able to make her fall in love with you).
    • A physical relationship will also let you know her better. That would help you to make the right decision about getting into a serious relationship with her. Think of it as a trial period. If it goes well with both of you, who knows, you guys might fall for each other for real.
    • However, if you do not want such a relationship (especially with a person who rejected you), be very clear about that in the conversation that you might have with her. Tell her that such casual relationships with no strings attached are not your cup of tea. You are an old-school person who believes in falling in love and growing old together like the couple in the animated Pixar movie Up.
  1. Ask if she needs a favor: You can ask her if she needs a favor from you. She is probably too proud to seek help from you directly. She needs you to take the first step.
    • She needs you to do her a favor. However, she is too proud to approach a person she rejected. Cut to the chase and ask what she wants from you. Be firm when you do that. Try not to fall for her again this time.
    • You need to act stoic when you talk to her. Do not get emotional as you might not want to tread that path again, where, in the end, you get rejected. She is not in love with you, and that is the harsh truth you will have to accept.
    • She probably feels weird asking you for help. She was the one who rejected you. Technically, she should not be the one to approach you again. But here she is. By seeking your attention, she has already proved the fact that you are in her thoughts.
    • Helping her with the favor is totally up to you. You have the power to reject her this time. That would not make you the worst person in the universe. She rejected you and made you feel bad. You are not obligated to make help her and make her feel good.
    • If you do not want to help her with the favor, say the clearly to her. Do not leave her hanging in the middle with hope, because that is cruel. Let her seek help from someone else. However, if you want to help her, do that with a minimum exchange of words and leave before she can take things further. She broke your heart once with the rejection. Do not give her the opportunity to do it again.
  1. Tell her how you feel about the situation: She rejected you and it is okay for you to ignore her now. If you think she wants your attention so that she can keep you as an option or simply as a friend, tell her what you feel about the situation.
    • All people are different. While you struggle to keep in touch with a person who rejected you, someone else is perfectly comfortable in such a situation. It is okay if you do not want to be in touch with the person who broke your heart. But the problem is, she wants to stay in your life (to be more precise, she wants you to stay in her life).
    • She likes to have options when it comes to love. She is with someone else now she will need another partner the moment she breaks up with her present partner. She has chosen you and probably a few other people she rejected along the road to be her options when the time comes. Tell her that you have realized her intention. You can also tell her if you want to be her option or not.
    • She cannot function a day without a partner. But she expects you to wait for her forever until she breaks up with the person she is dating now. You can tell her you are done waiting. Tell her that this is the time for you to move on to have a life of your own.
    • If you are not into the idea of friendship with the person who rejected you, you can always reject her advances and ask her to stop bothering you for good. Make her realize that she does not have a place in your life anymore.
  1. Tell her that you do not want to be in contact with her anymore: Cut ties with her by saying that you do not want to be in contact with her anymore. Rejection is painful, but talking to her frequently even after that is more painful.
    • Heartbreaks are tough to deal with. For some people, cutting ties with the source of the heartbreak is often the only way to heal. If that is the case with you, stop seeing her. Do not talk to her on the phone either. Stay away from her on purpose even if it makes you feel hollow in the chest.
    • She wants your attention even after rejecting you. This can have many reasons, but you do not have to worry about that. If you truly want to get over the rejection, ask her not to bother you anymore. Tell her not to call you or send you texts. If you indulge her, she might break your heart again.
    • You can make one last phone call to say all you have stored in your heart. However, try not to be disrespectful (especially if she rejected you politely). You are allowed to be rude if she too was rude when she rejected you. Point out why you do not intend to be with her anymore.
    • Be cool and make her feel guilty, by enlisting ways in which she has affected you with her behavior before you cut ties with her. Show how cruel she has been with you. Make her feel bad (just like the way she did when she rejected your advances). You do not need to care about her feelings.
    • I am not asking you to act vengefully here. You need to think with reason when you cut ties with her. Say words that will make her think. Bring up incidents from the past, and indirectly highlight what a great person you are. The objective is to make her feel bad before you stop talking to her forever. Try to make her think about her actions.
  1. Block her: You can block her from all social media platforms if she keeps bugging you for attention. She rejected you and therefore you have no responsibility to tend to her wishes.
    • She is an attention-seeker, but that is her problem. You do not have to worry about that anymore. It is not your responsibility to make her feel important with your attention. Send cold to her texts, and do not receive her calls. Make her realize that you are no longer interested in her.
    • If she keeps pestering you for attention, leave her texts on blue ticks and disconnect her calls whenever she tries to contact you. This sheer lack of interest from you will bring her to her senses. People like her thrive on attention. No replies from you will probably drive her away to bug someone else.
    • However, if she keeps bugging you, block her from all social media platforms. That is the only way to deal with the situation. Nothing should be more important to you than your mental health. She was messing with it by calling and texting you for attention. Driving her out of your life will help you get back on track quicker.
    • No texts or calls from the woman will make you put her out of your mind easily. However, forgetting her will take more time. Try to meet other people while you are trying to move on. Going on dates or simply hanging out with your friends will heal your mind faster. That way, you will be able to get back to the life you had before you met her to break your heart. You can find more solutions to your problem in a similar article right here.


A few things to remember:

  • She thrives on attention. She needs your attention even if she is not that into you. She wants your validation to survive. It is not just you. She probably seeks attention from several other people she had once rejected.
  • She might seek your attention if she needs a favor from you. She probably needs financial assistance or requires you to deal with something she feels uncomfortable facing on her own. You can ask her what she needs from you.
  • She could be a selfish person who only cares about herself. She is self-absorbed and would stamp on anyone’s happiness to get what she wants, and you are a new prey for her.
  • You can cut ties with her if she becomes the reason for your degrading mental health. Remember, there is nothing more important than your physical and mental well-being.
  • She rejected you. Making her feel good with your attention is not your responsibility anymore. Ignoring her will not make you a bad person. Your lack of interest in this woman is valid.
  • If you do not wish to be her spare tire, say that out loud to her. Ask her to stop bothering you. Tell her that you took a lot of time to get over her and you are not going to let that effort go to waste.
  • She likes you but is oblivious to her feelings. She needs your attention because she feels incomplete without that. She feels comfortable around you even though she rejected you. You can only hope that she recognizes her feelings soon to embark on a romantic journey with you.
  • It is okay to block her if she becomes a menace in your life. She will probably ignore you once her purpose is served. Save yourself from the pain and flush her out of your life before things turn toxic.

About the Author

Nirajana Mukherjee

Nirajana Mukherjee has been helping people find out their relationship queries since 2019. At Relationshippp she loved to talk about topics related to Dating, Affairs, Attraction, and Breakups. Her work can be seen in RelationshipExplained - A Renowned Relationship Blog. Nirajana has a Masters in English literature from St. Xavier's University.
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