My Boyfriend Calls Me Names Jokingly (7 Possible Reasons Why)

Your boyfriend calls you names jokingly, and you are worried about that. That is why you are here with your questions, looking for reasons, and ways to deal with the situation. I am here to help you with your problem. Scroll down to learn why he does what he does and how to deal with him.

Reasons why your boyfriend calls you names jokingly

1. He is a goofy person: Your boyfriend is a goofy and fun-loving person. He calls you names because he finds it funny. He is probably not aware of the thin line between having fun and borderline bullying.
   • Your boyfriend thinks life is all about being funny. He likes you but he also loves making fun of others. He behaves with you the same way he behaves with his friends. He thinks calling people names makes him sound cool.
   • This can happen when he has grown up hearing, he is funny. No one cared (or dared) to point out his problematic behavior. Instead, he was labeled “hilarious” by people close to him (could be his friends or family). His sense of entitlement comes from people’s unabashed acceptance of his unacceptable behavior.
   • Honestly, your boyfriend is a bit shallow. He is incapable of thinking beyond fun and games. He is always the goofiest person in the room. Such a personality seems great when a person is required to lighten the mood. However, things might turn sour when this kind of goofiness starts being an individual’s entire personality.
   • His fun-loving attitude makes him think that calling you names is funny. He thinks people (and you) love him for doing that. He is blissfully oblivious to the fact that calling you names can be offensive. This is the result of a problematic upbringing and a sheer lack of constructive criticism.
   • He is not aware of what is right and what is not. Calling someone names can be fun when that person takes it lightly. No two people are the same. Adjectives that offend you can be terms of endearment for his friends.

2. He is unaware of people’s feelings: He is a self-absorbed person who is oblivious to other people’s feelings. He does not know about the fact that you do not like it when he calls you names. He does it only because it makes him happy.
   • There is one word that describes him in the best way ─ selfish. He only cares about what makes him happy. Calling you (or other people) names gives him pleasure and makes him feel intelligent. He thinks of it as a fun creation. His entire personality is based on jokes at the expense of others.
   • You are his partner. Ideally, he should not be doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable. But ideals like these do not have value in his life. He knows he is good at making fun of others and he only does that to garner praise from other like-minded people.
   • He chooses to overlook your feelings. He values a few laughs over your happiness. He does not even care to know how you feel when he calls you names to make fun of you. He is unaware of the fact that you do not like it.
   • Comedy at the expense of other people (especially a partner) is the worst. It dehumanizes the person you love. That is what is wrong with your relationship. Your boyfriend is so selfish that he does not think twice before dehumanizing you by calling you names. It is worse when he does that in front of other people. He basically insults you in front of others, just for a few moments of fun. He is so self-absorbed that he remains totally unaware of people’s feelings.

3. He is an insensitive person: He does not care about your feelings. He calls you names because he is an insensitive person. Not just you, he acts insensitive around everyone.
   • Calling you names is just the tip of the iceberg in this case. Your boyfriend is an insensitive person. He does not care about your feelings. Calling you names makes him laugh. That is all he cares about.
   • He probably has insensitive and offensive names for everyone around him. He thinks he is the best and everyone else is beneath him. The fact that he calls you names shows that he is judgemental and heartless. He assigns a name to everyone he knows because he has a tendency to judge them quickly.
   • The worst part is that he probably knows what he is doing. He knows it is wrong to call people names. It is a kind of bullying. He does what he does anyway because there is no one to stop him. His sense of superiority and haughtiness is behind this personality trait. He is a toxic person.

4. He loves making you feel miserable: He has a twisted mind that makes him seek pleasure in your misery. He calls you names because he is a sadist who loves making you feel miserable.
   • Tormenting others is your boyfriend’s hobby. He loves it when you get irritated. He obtains fun from making you miserable. This behavior can stem from his inherent goofy nature. It can also be the result of a sheer lack of social discipline.
   • His twisted sense of humor makes him derive pleasure from your discomfort. Your boyfriend calling you names jokingly can only be adorable for a few initial days. After that, it slowly turns into a recurring insult. It can become unbearable for you when he starts calling you names in front of other people.
   • He is a sadist who finds delight in your pain. Calling someone names jokingly, on a regular basis, can cause them mental agony. That is what he loves about the situation. Why is he such a sadist? The answer is mostly unknown, but it can be traced back to his troubled childhood.
   • His abominable behavior can be the result of the constant humiliation he faced at school. His behavior can mirror the way his parents behaved with him. His entire personality might be a defense mechanism to protect himself from pain. Here is another way he can make you feel miserable.

5. He is losing interest in you: He calls you names because he is losing romantic interest in you. You are slowly turning into an object of fun for him. He does not feel affectionate for you anymore.
   • It is bad that your boyfriend calls you names jokingly. He does that intentionally to make you feel bad. He is probably falling out of love. This can happen when you guys have been together for a while. The beginning of any relationship is always the best part. It is the part where two people are often on their best behavior. The real personality gets unraveled slowly, with time.
   • He was on his best behavior when you guys started dating. But over time your value started to diminish in his eyes. Now, this fading interest makes him think “Why not?” He thinks he is entitled to a few laughs at your expense before he leaves you for good.
   • Do you remember the way Chandler treated Janice, in F.R.I.E.N.D.S every time they hooked up? He went up to her willingly (whenever he was out of “options”) and treated her in the worst possible way after his purpose was fulfilled. His ridicules were hurtful. He mocked her voice, her way of dressing, and the fact that she was affectionate towards him.
   • One may fall out of love but that does not allow them to have fun at the expense of the partner they no longer like. The thing your boyfriend is doing to you is extremely harmful to your mental health. He ridicules you for pleasure. Being at the receiving end of such behavior can hurl you into a state of prolonged self-doubt. It can give you trust issues and sleepless nights. The worst part: your toxic boyfriend is going to be the sole reason for that hefty bill at the therapist’s office.

6. You called him names first: He can call you names if you were the one to call him names first. You started it and therefore, you can’t complain about it now. He thinks it is okay to call you names.
   • He thinks it is okay to call you names because you did that first. Remember the time you called him a name jokingly, maybe to mock how he looked in an unusually colored shirt? You probably should not have done that. You brought your present plight upon yourself when you ridiculed his fashion sense.
   • It is not just about fashion. Any ridicule from you about anything could lead him to think that it is okay to behave like that. This is not really his fault. He is just imitating you. You brought this upon yourself. You are not supposed to make fun of the person you are supposed to be in a romantic relationship with.
   • Your distress about the situation is understandable but you should have thought about the consequences of your actions before you called your boyfriend names jokingly. It might have been embarrassing for him too.
   • He could call you names to get back at you for doing that first. He wants you to have a taste of your own medicine. He felt bad when you called him names for fun. The fact that you are in distress now, shows that he is successful at his endeavor.

7. He wants you to break up with him: Your boyfriend calls you names because he wants to break up with you. To be more precise, your boyfriend wants you to break up with him. He is trying to irritate you so that you leave him for good. He wants you to be the bad person in this relationship. He probably has other plans and is waiting for you to break up with him.
   • Now this has nothing to do with being goofy or insensitive. Your boyfriend calls you names jokingly to embarrass you as a part of a clever and elaborate ploy to wear you down. He wants you to grow tired of his behavior and leave him for good.
   • He wants you to be the quitter. That way he does not have to be the one to initiate the breakup. Growing tired of this relationship and eventually breaking up with your boyfriend will portray you as a bad person to people you both know.
   • He wants to be the good person in this relationship ─ the one who stuck around until you broke up. He wants to paint you as the quintessential evil partner who is too impatient about his little “whims and fancies.” He wants people to point at you and say, “This is the person who left a great guy for nothing.”
   • Your boyfriend is not just toxic, he is evil. He wants to throw you under the bus to succeed in his plans. He wants to get rid of you with the ploy. He will intensify his irritating behavior and call you names more frequently than yesterday to make you grow weary of this relationship.
   • He probably has someone in mind. He could be cheating on you. This plan to remove you from his life may have originated as a collective effort that involves him and the person he is cheating on you with. Portraying you as the villain in this relationship will make it easy for him to justify moving on (so quickly). Nobody will question his integrity even if he makes his new relationship official a week after the breakup.

What to do when he calls you names jokingly?

1. Tell him that you do not like the way he talks to you:  Do not let him treat you like trash. Tell him that you do not like the way he talks to you, and makes fun of you by calling you names. Remind him of the relationship he has with you.
   • Some couples are friends while some are not. It is okay if you do not consider your partner a friend. Every relationship has its own dynamic. One cannot expect the same things from a friendship and a romantic relationship. It is okay for you to get annoyed when your boyfriend calls you names jokingly.
   • If you are uncomfortable about the matter, confront him and say that you do not like the way he talks to you. Tell him that this behavior is not what you expect from your partner. Talk to him about boundaries and being respectful in a relationship.
   • You cannot let him treat you like trash. He calls you names because he thinks it is okay to do so. Make him realize that such names make you feel insulted, especially when he calls you by weird names in front of other people.
   • You can tell him that he needs to respect your likes and dislikes if he wants to stay in a relationship with you. Mutual respect is an important thing when it comes to romantic relationships. Remind him that just like you respect his boundaries he needs to do the same for you too. Otherwise, there is no point in you two being in a relationship.
   • He will probably try to defend his behavior by saying that his friends never mind when he calls them names jokingly. In that case, tell him, “There are certain things you can do with your friends but not with your partner.” Friendly banter often consists of little slurs and insults. Most friends do not mind that. However, saying the same things to a partner may cause problems and irreparable rifts in the relationship.

2. Tell him that his jokes are not funny: You are not comfortable with the fact that he calls you names. He probably does it jokingly but it is clearly not a joke for you. His momentary fun has turned into your agony. Tell him that his jokes are not funny and that it is not okay to call you names.
   • Just as I said in the previous point, every relationship has its own dynamic. Too many jokes about one’s partner might not sit well in a romantic relationship. You are here because you have been feeling uncomfortable about the fact that your boyfriend calls you names. What is funny for him can be bitter for you, as you are often at the receiving end of his jokes and ridicule.
   • You can tell him that his jokes are not funny. Explain your plight to him in a way that he understands. He could be doing this unknowingly, so give him the benefit of the doubt. Allow him an opportunity to explain his behavior. His answer might not be the one you were looking for. Chances are there that he will disappoint you with his replies. However, do not lose patience.
   • Your words will make him stop calling you names if he really likes you. He might realize his mistake and will probably apologize to you for making you uncomfortable. Recognizing one’s mistake is a quality that is rarely found in people these days. If he really stops calling you names, be sure about the fact that this guy likes (or probably loves you). He values your presence in his life and would not do the thing that hurts you.
   • However, chances are there that he will not pay heed to your words. In that case, he will (obviously) continue to call you names jokingly. He will completely ignore your feelings and hurt you even more by coming up with more insulting nicknames for you. In this scenario, he does not like you (love is out of the question here). You are just another person he is using to make himself feel great and have a little fun on the sly. Calling you names is a sick and sad attempt by him to prove that he is funny to his friends. He has chosen you as an easy target.

3. Ask him to show a little compassion: You can talk to him about your issues with the name-calling and ask him to show a little compassion for the living breathing human being that you are. Be firm with your words when you speak to him.
   • You can politely ask him to show you a little compassion. His ridicule cut through you like a knife. It is insulting and it definitely needs to stop. He might never understand your plight until you stand up for yourself. Tell him that you are a respectable human being and that you do not deserve such behavior (especially from your partner).
   • However, seeking compassion from him might portray you as a person who is desperate to be in a relationship no matter how toxic it has turned out to be. But the decision to break up with your boyfriend (or to keep dating him) lies entirely with you.
   • If you think he is a good person apart from the fact that he calls you names jokingly, then you can think of doing your bit to get this relationship on the right (and respectful) track. I would recommend you to be doubly sure about the situation. Do not do something that you might regret for the rest of your life. Attempt to save the relationship only if you think it is worth saving.
   • Do not forget to have a firm voice when you speak to him about compassion. Remember that you are already being extra polite with him even though he has ridiculed you repeatedly in private and in front of his friends and other outsiders by calling you names. A firm yet calm voice will show him his place in your life. He will know how to behave with you henceforth.

4. Say that his words are hurting your feelings: Confront him to say that he is hurting your feelings with his words. Tell him that the names he comes up with are nothing but mockery and you are not okay with that.
   • Jokes are fine, but mockery is not. You get offended when your boyfriend calls you names because he ridicules you with mockery. Calling someone names can be extremely insensitive, especially when it comes to things like a person’s body, financial stature, or education.
   • Say that his words are hurting your feelings. Calling someone names can hurt people to great extents. It is okay for you to feel miserable when he makes jokes at your expense. Saying that you do not like what he says will not make you look melodramatic.
   • Do not listen to him if he tries to gaslight you into believing that his behavior is normal. It is not. The names he uses for you are hurtful and therefore, he clearly needs to stop. That is what he will do if he really cares for you. You will know what to do with this relationship if he ignores you and continues to hurt your feelings by calling you names jokingly.

5. Start calling him names for a change: Give him a taste of his own medicine and start calling him names for a change. Make him realize how insensitive he has been to you and your feelings.
   • His behavior was unacceptable. Calling you names jokingly is not okay, especially when you are not comfortable with the idea. You can start calling him names to make him realize what you feel when he does the same.
   • You can do this when all other ways to make him realize his mistake have failed. You tried explaining things to him and it was futile. Think of the worst ways to ridicule your boyfriend in front of his friends. Invent the worst possible names to call him jokingly.
   • Try not to care about his feelings when you are trying to give him a taste of his own medicine. Know that he will get hurt (if not, startled). There is no need to feel bad about that as hurting him should be your intention here.
   • Hurting his feelings by calling you names will make him realize that his words have been hurting you too, all this while. Do not let him get away with what he has done to you. He deserves to be ridiculed (and, in the process, chastised) for calling you names jokingly.

6. Apologize if you have hurt his feelings in the past: He calls you names probably because you treated him in the same way. You can apologize to him and request him to stop calling you names in the future.
   • It is your fault in this case. Your boyfriend calls you names jokingly because you were the one to do it first. Your words have hurt him in an irreparable way. He despises you for ridiculing him. You will have to apologize for your behavior if you want him to stop.
   • He might call you names jokingly because he thinks it is okay to do so. This is not his fault because you made him believe he is right with your behavior. It is selfish of you to think he is wrong and you are right about the same thing. Just an apology might not work in this case. Apart from accepting that you are wrong, you will have to explain why it is wrong to call people names.
   • He can call you names to get back at you for doing the same. You called him names first and it was wrong. He knows what you did was wrong. He is aware of his bad behavior. However, he is still doing this to make you realize your fault. He wants you to apologize for making his life miserable with all the name-calling.
   • Your boyfriend will not stop calling you names jokingly if he is trying to prove a point. The only way to make him stop is nothing but a sincere apology and honest realization that what you did was wrong. Your misery will only increase if you fail to do so (or if your gigantic ego comes in between). He will start being even more irritating with each passing day.

7. Stop communicating with him for a while: You can stop communicating with him for a while to let him know that it is not okay to call you names. Cut all ties with him temporarily until he realizes his mistake and comes to you with an apology.
   • No contact is a great way to teach people lessons. Cease all communication with him until he realizes what he has done. He should have known the consequences of messing with your feelings. Calling someone names jokingly is extremely demeaning. No communication will intrigue him into thinking that something is wrong.
   • Give him the silent treatment if you stay with him or have to meet him every day at school or at work. You will not be able to ignore him in situations like this. It is better to stop speaking when his presence in your life is unavoidable. Refuse to go out with him in public and stop waiting for him at dinner time. Do whatever you want to do and behave as if he is not part of your life. Total disregard for his existence will make him question his behavior and this way he might come to his senses.
   • Put all your emotions aside and handle the matter in a mature way. You should not get carried away by emotions. The moment you stop talking to your boyfriend, he will start pestering you for the reason. Do not talk to him even if he begs you to do so (and mark my words, he will). He will not be able to digest the fact that he is not the most important person in your life. The fact that you can go days without communicating with him will drive him crazy and bring him to the realization that he needs to treat you better from now on.
   • You can leave a message before you start the silent treatment. He needs to know the reason why he is being punished. Shutting down abruptly will only give birth to confusion and misunderstandings. He needs to know why he is in trouble. Do not talk to him for days (or months) if you want but let him know why you are doing this.

8. Break up with him: If he keeps making you feel bad by calling you names, you can think about breaking up with him. You do not have to endure this humiliation at his hand. This is a toxic relationship, and you need to snap out of it before it affects your mental health.
   • A toxic relationship can have adverse effects on your mind. It can take a toll on your mental health, leading you fast into the therapist’s office. Calling you names is wrong, especially when you do not want him to do that. Your boyfriend is imposing something on you. He is pushing you over the edge into anxiety and overthinking.
   • When someone calls you names jokingly, it often borders on something derogatory. Your boyfriend behaves this way because making jokes at your expense is amusing to him. He is nothing but insensitive. He is a selfish person who only knows how to demean his partner. You need to step out of this relationship.
   • Your relationship has turned into a cesspool of mental abuse. Your boyfriend is the textbook example of a toxic partner. Ideally, he should have respected you and your boundaries. Treating you like an equal or a fellow human being never crossed his mind. He always considered you a lesser being (a subject for his sick jokes). Breaking up with him will be a wise decision.
   • This breakup will not make you a monster. You are only doing something that you should have done long ago to save yourself from getting hurt. You are trying to save your sanity. Breaking up with your toxic boyfriend will save you from the hefty bill at the therapist’s office, and you will be able to live a happy life without a person making mean jokes at your expense.

Tips

A few things to remember:

• He thinks calling you names jokingly, makes him look cute and loveable. He is unaware of the fact that his jokes are hurting you.
• He could be doing this intentionally just to watch you get hurt. He is not in love with you. He just needs an emotional doormat. He will probably leave you for someone else.
• He has no regard for people’s feelings. That is why he calls you names jokingly. He does that to every other person he knows. Talk to his friends and you will know more about him.
• Make sound decisions about your relationship. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life (or even a considerable part of your valuable time on this planet) with someone so toxic? If your answer is “no,” do not think twice before dumping him.
• Be unapologetic when you are being stern with him. Do not feel guilty for raising your voice. You are doing the right thing. Telling him that his behavior is problematic is something you should have done earlier.
• Give this relationship a second chance when you think it is necessary. Think about it carefully and make a wise decision. He needs to be called out for being mean. It is great if he changes for good. If he continues to be the bully that he is, breaking up with him will be the only safe option.
• He called you names jokingly because you did that first. In this case, you should be the one to apologize. You can’t get annoyed at something you have done with pleasure. You are not superior to him. If you want to make him stop calling you names, you will have to stop calling him names first.
• A relationship needs mutual respect. If you two do not have that for each other, it is better to part ways. No relationship can be built on the toxic grounds of disrespect and sick jokes. You can’t hurl insults at each other and call each other names if you want to be in a healthy relationship.
• Love is not enough to be in a relationship with someone. Your boyfriend might love you but calling you names jokingly shows that he has taken you for granted. He has stopped valuing your presence in his life, and that is unacceptable.