Logo Black - Relationshippp

Girlfriend Stays Out Late Without Calling (Reasons with Solution)

Feature Image of Girlfriend Stays Out Late Without CallingYour girlfriend stays out late without calling, probably because she has been an independent woman all her adult life and does not feel the need to inform you about everything she does. She has a life outside this relationship, and she expects you to respect her privacy. She needs space.

In this article, we will discuss why your girlfriend stays out late without calling. We will also discuss ways to deal with the situation. This article will inform you about the dos and don’ts. Read on.

Reasons why she stays out late without calling you

  1. She is a private person: Your girlfriend stays out late without calling, probably because she is a private person. She doesn’t want you to know everything about her life.
    • Your girlfriend is a closed book. She doesn’t like broadcasting things about her life. She stays out late either because she has to or because she wants to.
    • She will never even discuss her everyday whereabouts with you. She is an enigma who doesn’t want you to know much about her. She is basically like Wednesday Addams from the eponymous hit Netflix series.
    •  She will only let you know the amount she wants you to know. Pestering her about her whereabouts and fighting with her for a few calls will only make things worse for this relationship.
    • However, all of this does not mean she is not in love with you. She keeps her life separate from the affectionate feelings she has for you. She is very strict about her personal space and probably feels that you are trying to invade that space with your incessant questions about her whereabouts.
  1. She disregards your concern: She does not care about how you feel whenever she stays out late. She disregards your concern for her safety.
    • This happens when she doesn’t care about your feelings in general. She has her reasons to be with you, but that’s probably not love.
    • She knowingly disregards your concern for her safety when she stays out late. Your feelings are legit. She is rigid about paying no heed to your feelings.
    • That could have many reasons. She is probably not that into you. She likes you, but that affection is superficial. This lack of love causes her to ignore your concern.
  1. She is cheating on you: She is staying out late without calling you, probably because she is seeing someone else behind your back. She is cheating on you.
    • She simply forgot to call you because she was with the person with whom she is cheating on you. She was so busy in her late-night shenanigans that she forgot to call and let you know she was okay.
    • She could also have done it intentionally to keep her lies safe from discovery. Calling you would have put her at the risk of you getting to know about where she is based on the peripheral noise. She skipped calling you to avoid that.
    • Just like she is hiding her other relationship from you, she is hiding you from the other one. She can’t call you or take your calls when she is with the person she is cheating on you with.
    • So far, she has been successful in keeping the two worlds separate. However, the other person probably feels the same as you feel whenever she is hanging out late with you without calling them.
  1. She doesn’t like calling you all the time: She rarely calls you when she is out because she doesn’t like calling you all the time. Keeping in touch with you constantly smothers her.
    • She is a quiet person who does not like being on the phone all the time. She knows what she is doing and therefore does not feel the need to inform you about her moves.
    • Keeping in touch with you constantly whenever she goes out smothers her. She wants to spend some time on her own, without your presence. Calling you to let you know about her whereabouts nullifies that purpose.
    • It is not just about staying out late and not calling you. If you observe carefully, you will find her not contacting you even when she is out during the “safe” time of the day.
    • However, that does not mean she has no feelings for you. She likes you and probably is serious about you. She just needs some time away from you to clear her mind.
  1. She is an independent woman: She is an independent woman who doesn’t need people to express concern over her whereabouts if she stays out late. She has been independent all her life and doesn’t want you to hold her back.
    • She thinks you are interfering with her independence when you expect her to call when she stays out late. She gets irritated even when you call her.
    • That’s because she has been an independent woman all her adult life. She has never been answerable to anyone.
    • Her past relationships have failed to work out because all of her former partners wanted what you needed her to do, along with more accountability.
    • She wants a relationship that does not hold her back from things she loves to do. She stays out late and is responsible for her own safety. She does not want you to get all riled up with concern for her well-being.
    • She wants you to be a supportive partner. If you observe her carefully, you will find her not interfering in any of your life decisions. She never has opinions about what you do in your own time.
  1. She is not afraid of staying out late: You might be afraid of the idea of her staying out late. That’s why you are so concerned. She is not afraid of staying out late.
    • It’s okay to feel a bit tense when she stays out late. The world we live in is anything but safe. But your concern should not smother her.
    • When she says she is not afraid of staying out late, she means it. Many people are afraid of driving home in the dead of night. That’s not a problem for her because she has a rational mind and knows a few tricks to keep herself safe.
    • She doesn’t have to know martial arts for that. She relies upon her intellect, and that’s why she is never afraid to stay out late, even if you think it is a bad idea.
    • She does not call you when she is out late because she does not want you to be a part of everything she does. Taking safety advice from you or asking you to pick her up hurts her ego.
  1. She knows how to defend herself: She is not an impractical person. She knows staying out late in some parts of the world can be dangerous. But she knows how to defend herself in case something happens.
    • She doesn’t need your help to stay safe. That’s why she never calls you when she stays out late. She doesn’t want you to be her knight in shining armor. You are more like a Ser Criston Cole to her Princess Rhaenyra (from the hit HBO drama series House of the Dragon), if you know what I mean.
    • She has probably taken self-defense classes to prepare herself for hostile situations. She might know a bit of martial art to save her life when someone threatens her.
    • She is a practical person who is aware of her surroundings and is ten steps ahead of any danger that can befall her. In Ross’s words from F.R.I.E.N.D.S, she has “Unagi,” the sense of total awareness.
    • Apart from her defensive skills, she is proud of her intellect too, which she uses to keep herself safe. She does not want you to worry because she has saved herself with these skills on multiple hostile occasions. She does not need to call you up for every little inconvenience.
  1. She wants to teach you a lesson: You used to stay out late without calling her. She is trying to teach you a lesson by giving you a taste of your own medicine.
    • You did it all the time in the near past. You used to stay out late for hours without calling her. Sometimes you used to vanish for days only to return with your friends, drunk.
    • She had had enough of that and decided to teach you a lesson when you were sober. She wants you to feel what she felt when you disappeared for hours.
    • Your behavior made her anxious and terrified. She used to be worried about your whereabouts. She was concerned about you driving in that state and getting hurt or ending up hurting someone fatally.
    • She disconnects your calls and barely ever texts you to inform you where she is because she wants you to learn what it feels like to be on the other side.
    • She is a good person. She will return to her usual self if you realize your mistake and apologize with a promise never to make her feel like that again.

What to do (or not to do) when your girlfriend stays out late without calling you?

  1. Call her friends to check if she is okay: You know she gets irritated when you call her or ask her to contact you when she is out late. You can call her friends instead.
    • Your fears are legitimate. You can call her friends to know her whereabouts. They will be able to give you the right information if they are with her.
    • However, ask her friends for little favor along with this. Ask them not to inform her about the fact that you called them to check on her. This information can create problems between you and your girlfriend.
  1. Talk to her about this: You are concerned about her safety, and she does not care about informing you when she stays out late. Talk to her about this.
    • Tell her that you are an anxious person who tends to worry about everything. You are perfectly fine with her staying out, but all you need is assurance that she is safe.
    • Try to convince her that you are not asking her for anything impossible. All you need is one phone call to know she is safe. The right arguments might convince her.
    • Tell her how worried you feel when she stays out late. Ask her to come to a middle ground by shedding off a little bit of her ego.
    • However, don’t shame her about what she does. Don’t try to teach her things she already knows. She is aware of the dangers and is confident about dealing with them herself. Tell her that this issue is more about your insecurity than her safety.
  1. Check if she is cheating on you: She stays out late without calling you, probably because she is seeing someone else behind your back. Check if she is cheating on you.
    • You can contact her friends or your common friends to learn more about her life outside this relationship with you. You might discover surprising truths about her.
    • Try to find out where she goes by following her. That’s called stalking. But in this case, you need to do this at least once just to be sure about her whereabouts. However, you might feel bad if your hunch turns out to be wrong.
    • You can try observing her behavioral patterns. Look for little incoherencies like the smell of her clothes and a sudden interest in getting all decked up just to go the nearby grocery store.
    • Check if she lowers her voice while talking on the phone. Observe her facial expressions carefully.
  1. Give her the space she requires: Don’t smother her. Give her the space she requires and, most importantly, deserves.
    • She has always been an independent woman. She needs her space to survive. Your calls and expectation that she will call you are smothering her. She probably feels suffocated in this relationship.
    • There is nothing wrong with needing space. She is not going to run away with the space in her backpack. She wants to breathe freely, which you are probably not letting her do.
    • She wants to be with you, but if you go on like this, a time may come when she gets tired of your incessant calls and texts whenever she stays out late.
    • She wants to live her life on her own terms, and you should let her do that if you want to be in this relationship with her. She needs a companion in you, not a parent for a three-year-old kid.
    • You need to respect her privacy. That’s the least you can do for the person you call your girlfriend. She is a living, breathing human with free will. Do not try to dictate her moves. Do not make her feel trapped in this relationship. She should feel calm around you and not the opposite of that.
  1. Stay out late without calling her: Teach her a lesson for making you feel anxious all the time. Stay out late for hours without calling her.
    • You can go and hang out with your friends while she stays at home for a change. Do not tell her where you are going or when you will return. Make her wait for hours in anxiety.
    • Do not do anything stupid just to prove it is dangerous out there. She will get your point even without you having to put yourself in danger.
    • However, your little experiment can go sideways if she does not seem to worry about your absence without contact. That will prove her disinterest in this relationship.
    • This a risk you will have to take if you want to teach her a lesson. She might turn out to be the wrong partner for you. Don’t be sad if that happens. It was all for good, and now that you know how she truly feels, you can break it off with her to find someone more like you.
    • Also, if she really gets worried about you (because staying out late without calling is not something you do), do not drag it out any further. Tell her why you did what you did and ask her to be a little considerate towards your feelings in the future.
  1. Apologize to her for what you did: She has been staying out late lately without calling you because you did something similarly wrong to call upon that behavior. Apologize for what you did.
    • You were wrong when you stayed out late without calling her. She felt anxious and worried about it. She did the same to make you feel the same. Apologize if you have learned your lesson.
    • She never asked you to be on the phone with her all the time. She just wanted to know if you were safe. You could have talked to her about it.
    • If you are so against the idea of letting her know where you are, have a conversation about it. Tell her you can take care of yourself, and she does not worry about you.
  1. Accompany her wherever you can: You are worried about her safety. The problem goes away if you accompany her wherever you can.
    • Accompany her whenever you can. She stays out late without calling you, and you end up worrying about her safety. It will be best if you move around with her.
    • However, this will need her consent. She might not allow you to move around her like a shadow just because you are worried about her safety.
    • You need to convince her to let you accompany her. Tell her you to want to know her friends better. Plan dates and takes vacations together. Get to know each other well, and she will start including you in her plans.
    • Whatever you do, try not to suffocate her with an excess of concern and affection. She might not take it in a good way. Smothering her will push you closer to a breakup. Therefore, be careful and subtle while dealing with her. She is an independent but sensitive person.
  1. Spend more time with her: Try to spend more time with her so that she does not feel the need to go on her own to socialize and stay out late without calling you.
    • Try to be the supportive partner she dreams of and rightfully deserves. She goes out only because you never seem interested in spending time with her.
    • You can arrange a game night at home to spend time with her. Play scrabble with some pizza and coke on the side. Order Chinese and play with jigsaw puzzles that were collecting dust on your shelves. There are numerous things to do.
    • You can plan a movie night for her like Tyler did for Wednesday in the smash hit Netflix series Wednesday. Watch her favorite movies or choose a movie franchise like Star Wars, Harry Potter, or Lord of the Rings to binge on. You guys can watch cheesy rom-coms or gory slasher movies based on her preference.
    • Try to cook dinner for her even if you have zero experience in cooking. Cooking videos on YouTube will come to your help. She will appreciate these little things and will notice your effort to make her happy.


A few things to remember:

  • Let her have space and privacy. Don’t smother her with calls and texts.
  • Get to know her better. Talk about her likes and dislike. Also, talk to her about your problems.
  • Do not ask her to stop being herself by forbidding her to stay out late. You are not her boss, and that can backfire badly.
  • She might be seeing someone else behind your back. It is high time you check if she is cheating on you.
  • Always ask for her consent when you want to accompany her.
  • Try to be a supportive partner and believe in your girlfriend’s intellectual abilities.

About the Author

Nirajana Mukherjee

Nirajana Mukherjee has been helping people find out their relationship queries since 2019. At Relationshippp she loved to talk about topics related to Dating, Affairs, Attraction, and Breakups. Her work can be seen in RelationshipExplained - A Renowned Relationship Blog. Nirajana has a Masters in English literature from St. Xavier's University.
Learn more about us here!
Logo White - Relationshippp
Join Relationshippp. You will get exlusive relationship tips that we only share with our email suubsribers. Oh by the way, our communications are not one-sided. We do read and reply to all the emails. ALL THE EMAILS.